The Oscar nominees drop tomorrow morning at 8 eastern, and at the 11th hour, ROTI’s official Oscars expert — the eponymous author of I-am-DB.com — is here to give you tomorrow’s news today. His guesses are below. Check back at ROTI for more Oscars crossposts from this great new movie & TV site.

Predicting the nominees has been a bitch this year.

For starters, everyone seems to agree that 2011 wasn’t all that strong a year for movies. There was a lot of good and not much great…yet almost every category sports an abundance of worthy nominees. And while a few frontrunners are starting to emerge, no win feels inevitable. Usually by this time, the countless critics awards and initial guild nominations have helped clarify the field a bit, with at least one or two categories sporting a sure-fire winner. Not so this year. Without the usual sense of passion centered around a handful of films, things seem more prone to change between now and late February. All of which makes it an exciting race, but not an easy one to forecast. The new Best Picture rules don’t exactly help either. What new Best Picture rules, you may ask? Well let’s get the party started and find out…

Oh, a note for the nine of you that have actually read these in the past: normally I include my personal nomination picks for each category, but I’ve decided to hold off on that this year since there are still a few key movies that have yet to arrive in the Bay Area or which I just haven’t had a chance to see. They include The Iron Lady, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Coriolanus and Albert Nobbs. I missed the boat on a few others, including the acclaimed indie Tyrannosaur, but once again I’m pleased to say that I’ve seen pretty much everything that’s part of the conversation (I even saw Margaret during its super-quick theatrical run! ). Anyway, at some point between now and the awards, I’ll be sure to publish my own picks. Because I’m way smarter than the Academy.

BEST PICTURE

The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life

Now then: rule changes. Note that on the list above, I’ve included eight movies. The especially astute among you will further note that eight is less than ten. Remember two years ago, when the Academy decided there would be ten nominees for Best Picture instead of the traditional five? The change benefited movies that, it’s safe to say, wouldn’t have made the cut on a five-film list. (Think The Blind Side, 127 Hours and District 9, to name a few.) Well last June, the Academy announced it was shaking up the process even further. The number of nominees will now fall somewhere between five and ten, and we won’t know the tally until the nominations are revealed.

Those of you familiar with Johnny Dangerously will understand if I pause at this point to quote Roman Maroni, who always had a colorful way of putting things.

Based on how many of the roughly 6,000 Academy members return their ballots and make selections in the Best Picture category, the accounting aces at PricewaterhouseCoopers will determine what percentage of first place votes a movie needs to earn in order to secure a nomination. According to the Academy’s press release on the topic, this new system means that the nominated films will more accurately reflect Academy members’ favorite movies. The downside is that because of the way the calculations work, a significant number of voters’ ballots will essentially be tossed out. It’s a system that favors consensus but means not every voting member will have their voice heard. For statistical nerds out there, Steve Pond of TheWrap.com is an expert in crunching Oscar numbers and has examined and explained the process in detail.

What this boils down to for schmucks like me is that predicting the Best Picture nominees just got a lot trickier. But schmucks we are, and predict we shall.

Count on The Artist and The Descendants, which have grabbed the lion’s share of the critics awards and each took home top Golden Globes recently (the former in the musical/comedy category, the latter for drama). The Help and Hugo are close to certain, and Midnight in Paris is probably in there too. After that, the real guesswork begins. Two movies with late December releases that were widely expected to be contenders are War Horse and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. But War Horse, despite strong reviews and good box office, has failed to gain traction with the industry. While cited by the Producers Guild of America and the American Cinema Editors, it went unnominated by the Writers Guild of America, the Directors Guild of America (which has been generous to Steven Spielberg over the years) and the American Society of Cinematographers. Those omissions hurt. Has War Horse been left out to pasture?

As for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, it was the last move of the year to screen for critics and guilds, with some of the season’s first voting critic circles convening before they’d seen it. The lack of recognition by the Golden Globes and Screen Actors Guild could be due to ballots being cast before the movie was seen. But mixed reviews and the same lack of guild support slowing down War Horse‘s chances indicate the movie just hasn’t caught on. There have been a smattering of nominations from this group or that, and it could factor into a couple of races further down, but Best Picture no longer seems in the cards.

The unlikely beneficiary of those two movies’ lackluster showings appears to be The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which in contrast to both, has scored big time with the guilds. It’s been nominated by the PGA, ACE, ACS and most surprisingly, the DGA and WGA. With all that support, its Oscar chances look better than anyone would have expected (and better than it probably deserves, but that’s another story). Then there’s The Tree of Life, Terrence Malick’s poetic rumination on life, death, the universe and really gorgeous swirls of color. It was admired by critics, and no doubt it has ardent supporters within the Academy. The question is whether it has enough to earn the necessary number of first place votes.

An assured ten-picture field might have opened the conversation up to movies like The Ides of March, My Week With Marilyn, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Drive, or even some populist choices like Bridesmaids, Rango or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. (Don’t laugh; Potter was one of the year’s best-reviewed movies, and even within the industry a lot of people feel it deserves recognition as the closing chapter of the most financially successful franchise ever.)

War Horse could still muster the support it needs, while The Tree of Life may not have the necessary backing. Moneyball is a question mark too. But this is the list I’m going with.

BEST DIRECTOR

Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne – The Descendants
Martin Scorsese – Hugo
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life

This category has three sure things: Hazanavicius, Payne and Scorsese. Two spots remain, and a lot of people are in the mix for them. The affection for Midnight in Paris will probably carry Woody Allen, but I wouldn’t call him a lock. Although The Help is a safe bet for Best Picture, its director Tate Taylor has been largely ignored throughout the season. The film’s direction isn’t especially dynamic (not that it needed to be), so he’ll probably fall prey to bigger names and bolder visions. If War Horse misses in Best Picture, it will kill any chance Spielberg has…which I sense isn’t much at this point anyway. David Fincher, on the other hand, could benefit from the lovefest that has swarmed Dragon Tattoo.

If the Academy goes with Hazanavicius, Payne, Scorsese, Allen and Fincher, it will match the DGA’s nominees five-for-five. That rarely happens. In the last 25 years, it’s only happened three times (1998, 2005, 2009). When the two bodies diverge, the Academy often favors an auteur or an indie filmmaker. (Mulholland Drive‘s David Lynch, City of God‘s Fernando Meirelles, The Sweet Hereafter‘s Atom Egoyan and Red‘s Krzysztof Kieslowski are among those who scored Oscar nods but weren’t cited by the DGA.) This year, that could mean good news for Drive‘s Nicolas Winding Refn, who took the Best Director prize at the Cannes Film Festival last summer. But Drive is feeling more like a critic’s darling and less like a movie that’s connecting within Hollywood. The more likely nominee would be Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life. While the movie is divisive and it certainly isn’t perfect, Malick is a visionary filmmaker and one who has the admiration of many colleagues. Whatever the movie’s chances in the Best Picture race, I think it has a good chance of landing here.

BEST ACTOR

George Clooney – The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio – J. Edgar
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Michael Fassbender – Shame
Brad Pitt – Moneyball

With the assured presence of Clooney, Pitt and Dujardin, this category is shaping up to be a gathering of the Handsome Men’s Club. But as is usually the case, a number of strong candidates are left fishing for two available slots. Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar didn’t pan out as an awards magnet, but DiCaprio has plenty of admirers for his excellent performance and scored nominations from the Broadcast Film Critics Association, SAG and the Golden Globes. The Academy likes DiCaprio, so his chances are good. (Like anybody who writes about the Oscars, by the way, I shall proceed to repeatedly reference “the Academy” as though it were a monolithic entity absorbing the consciousness of its many thousand members into one aggregated voice).

I’d say three actors are realistically vying for the fifth slot. Michael Fassbender had a great year, with acclaimed performances in four movies. Several groups have nominated him for Shame, though he was overlooked by SAG. Still, plenty of actors are sure to admire his nakedness. No, not that nakedness. Well, yeah, I guess that nakedness too. But I mean more his emotional nakedness. Next is Gary Oldman, who took center stage for the first time in years with Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Fellow actors could feel that it’s time to pay tribute to one of the greats who has, amazingly, never been nominated. Still, the performance is so restrained and quiet. The Academy tends to favor flashier roles, and Oldman’s George Smiley is as buttoned-down as it gets. Then there’s Michael Shannon for the gripping indie film Take Shelter. Critics love the performance, and Shannon has the respect of his peers. But despite the September release, have enough voters made time to see it? He missed out on nominations from SAG, the Globes and the BFCA, which doesn’t bode well…but in 2009 he was ignored by the same groups and still scored a Supporting Actor nomination for Revolutionary Road. Can he do it again?

Woody Harrelson garnered ecstatic reviews as a self-destructive L.A. cop in Rampart, but it’s doubtful enough voters have seen the movie. SAG awarded a surprise nomination to Demián Bichir for his work as an immigrant father trying to provide for his teenage son in A Better Life, but again, the movie was probably too-little seen. SAG’s nominations don’t always match up with Academy’s, and Bichir – lacking name recognition and coming from lower profile movie – seems the least likely to make Oscar’s cut. Ryan Gosling’s name keeps popping up as well, both for Drive and The Ides of March, but neither film is likely to earn him the necessary votes (and frankly, if he deserves a nomination for any of his work this year, I’d argue in favor of Crazy, Stupid, Love).

With DiCaprio and Fassbender vulnerable, this category is primed for a surprise or two.

BEST ACTRESS

Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton – We Need to Talk About Kevin
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn

While all the major races this year have the rare excitement factor of lacking clear frontrunners, some are more up for grabs than others, starting with this one. Streep, Davis and Williams are the locks, and surprisingly, it’s Williams who has by far captured the most critics awards to date, plus a Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Musical/Comedy (neither of which her movie really fits into, but that sort of loose categorization is nothing new).

In addition to these three, SAG nominated Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs and Tilda Swinton for We Need to Talk About Kevin. (Both films have yet to go into wide release, so for those unfamiliar with them, here are the Cliff’s Notes: in Nobbs, Close plays a woman passing as a male butler in 19th century Ireland. Swinton, meanwhile, portrays a mother whose son commits a Columbine-like high school attack.) Close was an Oscar darling in the 80′s, racking up five nominations between 1982 and 1988. She’s never won the award, and has found more success on television over the last decade. While Nobbs is a small film struggling for attention, it could be seen as a homecoming for Close, whose peers may want to welcome her back with a nomination. As for Swinton, she’s managed to maintain a firm presence on the awards circuit so far despite appearing in exactly the kind of independent film that so often gets lost in shuffle among higher-profile year-end releases. Her buoyancy bodes well. Both movies opened in December for brief qualifying runs, so voters would have had to catch the movies during those theatrical windows or else made time at home to watch the screeners. This is not an uncommon practice and it certainly doesn’t stand in the way of work being nominated, but can two such movies make their mark in the same race?

A number of worthy actresses are waiting in the wings should Close or Swinton falter. Charlize Theron gave a bold, biting performance in Young Adult, but the character may be too unlikable to earn enough support. Elizabeth Olsen’s acclaimed breakout as a young woman who escapes a cult in Martha Marcy May Marlene has its fans, though probably not enough for her to pull through. Ditto for Kirsten Dunst, who earned stellar reviews as a deeply depressed bride in Melancholia. She took Best Actress at the Cannes Film Festival, but Cannes acclaim only occasionally translates to Oscar heat, and when it does it’s usually fueled by more critics awards than Dunst has collected. Personally, I gotta give a shoutout to the preternaturally gifted Saoirse Ronan, who gave a knockout performance in Hanna that should have her firmly in the Best Actress discussion. Alas, she’s been completely left out, so no luck there. The last viable contender – and the one with the best chance of cracking the final list – is Rooney Mara as the iconic heroine Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. If the movie catches fire throughout the Academy the way its guild support indicates it might, Mara could easily ride that wave. But I think the category will match the SAG slate of Close, Davis, Streep, Swinton and Williams.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Kenneth Branagh – My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks – Drive
Nick Nolte – Warrior
Christopher Plummer – Beginners
Max von Sydow – Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Plummer is in for sure. Brooks seems like a safe bet given that he and Plummer have split nearly all the awards given out so far. Although Brooks was a no-show on SAG’s list, it’s hard to imagine he won’t make the Academy’s cut given all the citations already under his belt.

Jonah Hill scored key nominations from SAG and the Golden Globes for his change-of-pace work in Moneyball, and most pundits are considering him a sure thing. I have my doubts. I think Hill could find himself in the same boat as Mila Kunis did last year for Black Swan. Despite nods from the BFCA, Globes and SAG, she was left off Oscar’s list. Like Kunis, Hill gives a good performance that allows him to stretch, but there’s nothing special about it beyond that. Voters may think an Oscar nomination is a little more than he deserves at this point.

Nick Nolte gives a moving performance in the underseen drama Warrior as a recovering alcoholic trying to reconcile with his grown sons after years of abuse that tore their family apart. The movie was well-received by critics and those who’ve seen it…but it doesn’t seem like many people have seen it. Then again, the movie came out way back in September, so they’ve had time. The SAG nomination has kept him visible, as have the frequent commercials for HBO’s new series Luck, in which Nolte stars. Lots of Academy members have HBO and have surely seen those spots. Plus, Nolte’s a survivor. Actors like that.

Max von Sydow garnered buzz in advance of Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close‘s release, but the movie has been such a nonstarter that it’s tough to gauge his chances. If the movie has a shot at any major nominations, he’s the best bet. But sentiment to honor a veteran who’s never won before may be siphoned off by Plummer.

Others in the mix are Viggo Mortensen for his dry, sly Sigmund Freud in A Dangerous Method; Patton Oswalt as Charlize Theron’s nerdy confidant in Young Adult (Oswalt has had audiences cracking up at various events throughout the season; never underestimate the effect that can have on voters); Armie Hammer, admired for his work as the Winklevii in last year’s The Social Network, got a SAG nod playing Hoover’s right-hand man (if you know what I mean, HOO-HA!) in J. Edgar; and Brad Pitt really deserves a nomination for his stern 1950′s father in The Tree of Life, but he’ll probably be honored solely for Moneyball.

There are a couple of blockbuster longshots, like Alan Rickman for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, in which he capped off a decade of inscrutability and finally revealed the true colors and pain beneath the pallid visage of Severus Snape. There was also a lot of talk last summer around Andy Serkis and his motion-capture performance as the gifted chimp Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. A few critics groups have nominated Serkis, but the fact is that actors vote for actors, and they just aren’t ready to recognize motion capture. I don’t think Serkis should make the list this time anyway, but I did think he deserved it for his performance as Gollum in The Two Towers, and I wish the Academy had recognized this work he’s pioneered over the last decade by giving him a Special Achievement Oscar this year. But that ship sailed in November. Perhaps down the line…

I think von Sydow will just squeak by, while Branagh has landed on enough lists by now to seem like a good bet. Few of these performances really thrill me though, so I’d love to see a truly-didn’t-think-it-would-ever-happen surprise like Corey Stoll for Midnight in Paris (he played Ernest Hemingway) or Kevin Spacey or Jeremy Irons for the financial crisis drama Margin Call.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Bérénice Bejo – The Artist
Jessica Chastain – The Help
Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids
Octavia Spencer – The Help
Shailene Woodley – The Descendants

Chastain has had an amazing breakout year, and has been honored by various critics groups for her individual performances in The Help, The Tree of Life and Take Shelter, while other groups have cited her for all three films plus The Debt, Coriolanus and Texas Killing Fields. Some have posited that she will split her votes between various films and wind up shut out of the race, but most agree that she’ll score most of her votes for The Help, in which she took a potentially one-dimensional ditz and infused her with levels of depth. As long as she gets nominated for something, I don’t really care what it is.

Melissa McCarthy seems primed for Bridesmaids recognition, but a word of caution: performances this purely comedic – and comedies this broad, in general – are seldom favored by the Academy. Sure, the past 25 years are spotted with comparable (to varying degrees) nominees, including Joan Cusack for In & Out, Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder, Marisa Tomei for My Cousin Vinny and Kevin Kline for A Fish Called Wanda (the latter two even won). But when it comes to comedy and the Academy, nothing is assured. McCarthy’s chances look good, bolstered by nominations from SAG, the BFCA and several critics groups (though not the Golden Globes). But if her name isn’t announced, don’t be too shocked.

If we go by the critics, The Descendants‘ Shailene Woodley would be a sure thing here. Tough to say whether or not the Academy will follow. Support for the movie overall could definitely carry her. And while the logic I used against Jonah Hill might seem applicable to Woodley as well – that she’s too young, or it’s too soon – the Academy has a soft spot for young, emerging actresses. So whereas I likened Hill to Mila Kunis, Woodley may be more comparable to Hailee Steinfeld, nominated last year for True Grit. Then again, Woodley’s character isn’t nearly as colorful as Steinfeld’s, so…who knows how this will go.

Janet McTeer has done well on the circuit so far, joining Glenn Close with a gender-bending performance in Albert Nobbs. If enough voters have seen it, she could land here too. Vanessa Redgrave is said to be brilliant in Ralph Fiennes’ Shakespeare adaptation Coriolanus, but this is another case where the movie is unlikely to have been seen by enough people. Shame‘s Carey Mulligan is floating on the edge, and can’t be counted out completely if we consider that voters will have made time for that film based on all the buzz it generated. Her inclusion would be a surprise, albeit a pleasant one. In a move I still can’t wrap my head around, Academy voters saw fit a couple years ago to award Sandra Bullock an Oscar for The Blind Side; if Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close does make an impression on voters, Bullock’s fine performance could earn her a second nomination.

I’m giving Woodley a slight edge over McTeer, but what do I know?

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Mike Mills – Beginners
Annie Mumalo & Kristen Wiig – Bridemaids
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
Tom McCarthy – Win Win

The screenwriting categories are often the place where admired movies that can’t quite gain a foothold in other high profile races get their pat on the back. Think Lars and the Real Girl, American Splendor, The Squid and the Whale and Do the Right Thing. This year, there are a number of such films that could fill out a category which is already likely to include Midnight in Paris, Bridesmaids and The Artist. Diablo Cody, who won this award for Juno a few years ago, could be back with her uncompromising comedy Young Adult. She did earn a WGA nod, but that’s never a reliable indicator since so many scripts fail to qualify for the WGA due to arcane regulations. (The Artist, for example, was left off the WGA list but is considered an Oscar shoo-in). There’s Margin Call, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Take Shelter, Beginners, Win Win and 50/50 (the latter two earned WGA nominations and have popped up consistently with critics groups), all of which could reasonably make the cut.

The Tree of Life is always a possibility, but might be seen more as a triumph of directing that writing. I mean, that ending sequence…even Sean Penn has said he didn’t know what the hell was going on, and he starred in it. (True, he calls the script “magnificent,” but voters aren’t judging the actual script; they’re judging what makes it to the screen.) Animated and foreign films frequently earn a spot in the screenplay races, and this year such chances rest with Rango and the Iranian drama A Separation, respectively. But Rango hasn’t been cited with a comparable nomination by any other group that I’ve seen. A Separation has fared a little better, but unless voters caught up with it in the final days of voting, I’d be surprised to see it slide in.

My gut is telling me that 50/50 is going to miss, but I’m not at all confident that I’m right, or of what will take that fifth spot if I am. I’m going out on a long limb with Beginners, knowing full well that said limb is likely to snap underneath me.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash – The Descendants
Steven Zaillian – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Tate Taylor – The Help
John Logan – Hugo
Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin – Moneyball

All five films above were nominated by the WGA, though the nod for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo took many by surprise. Since the Adapted category wasn’t gutted by the guild as badly as the Original category, it’s tough to guess whether Dragon Tattoo got in by default of sorts or if it’s a real contender. There only seem to be a few other realistic candidates. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (which was among the ineligible for the WGA) could go either way; did voters find it too confusing, or did they think it effectively streamlined an intricate, dense novel? War Horse doesn’t feel like it can go the distance here, and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close remains a question mark. It doesn’t appear to have the support, but this is a movie that could turn out to surprise everyone.

I’m going with Dragon Tattoo, but it’s a toss-up with Tinker Tailor.

BEST ANIMATED FILM

The Adventures of Tintin
Cars 2
Puss in Boots
Rango
Winnie the Pooh

Enough animated movies were released this year to qualify for a five-movie race. Nineteen films are in the mix, and it will be interesting to see if the nominees are all from the mainstream or if something more obscure muscles in, as was the case two years ago when The Secret of Kells had everyone asking, “What the hell is The Secret of Kells?”

The Adventures of Tintin made the list of eligible movies and seems a certain nominee…unless members of the animation branch don’t see motion capture as equatable to hand-drawn or computer-generated work. But I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t make it. Kung Fu Panda 2 is just as gorgeously animated as the first film, but felt a little flatter to me. Still, it dives deeper into some of the characters and manages to be more than just a rehash of the original. From what I’ve heard, the same can’t be said for Happy Feet Two. Although the original won this award in 2006, the sequel doesn’t seem to have registered. Then there’s Cars 2. Though a huge box office hit, it’s the most critically spanked movie in Pixar’s history. I didn’t think it was nearly the dud that so many called it, but yeah, it has problems that Pixar’s movies just don’t usually have. Still, the immaculate animation can’t be denied. If it misses the cut, it will be the first Pixar movie to do so since this category’s inception in 2001. Hard to imagine Pixar not having a horse in the race. I wonder – are animators from rival studios relishing a misstep by the great and mighty Pixar, or are they not thinking in such vindictive terms? The answer could hold they key to the movie’s nomination fate. I think it’s gonna make it, but I’m basing my guess more on the quality of the animation than the overall movie…which is probably a miscalculation on my part.

The only sure thing is Rango. So watch out for really any one of my guesses to be trumped by Arthur Christmas or a Kells-like surprise.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Guillaume Schiffman – The Artist
Jeff Cronenweth – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Robert Richardson – Hugo
Emmanuel Lubezki – The Tree of Life
Janusz Kaminski – War Horse

I’m so on the fence about War Horse. It missed with the American Society of Cinematographers, and the movie’s general lack of support from the guilds must be taken into account. But I just can’t write it off. I have a feeling that it could still pull through. If it doesn’t, or if Dragon Tattoo misses out (the other three are safe bets), the ASC’s fifth choice – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – could come in from the cold. Drive deserves to be here but probably won’t be, while Moneyball (shot by last year’s winner Wally Pfister) could be a surprise. It isn’t flashy, but it’s earned notices from critics and fellow cameramen. Other longshot possibilities might be The Descendants, Hanna, Melancholia, Anonymous and Midnight in Paris.

BEST FILM EDITING

The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball

The editing category usually consists of prestige movies that are also in the running for Best Picture, as well as perhaps a really well constructed action movie (The Bourne Ultimatum and The Matrix are past winners). I don’t know if The Descendants will really show up here, but admiration for the movie and its overall positioning in the field so far make a reasonable guess. The Social Network took the prize last year, and its editors re-teamed with David Fincher for Dragon Tattoo, which once again seems to have the guild support it needs. The editor’s guild was one of the few that recognized War Horse, and I could see it replacing The Descendants or Moneyball, but I suspect it will miss with the Academy. I may be in the minority thinking that The Tree of Life could be a surprise contender, but so be it. For a movie that goes in some unusual directions, the editing helps the film retain a shape that gives it forward momentum. Drive would be great to see, but it might be competing for votes with Dragon Tattoo.

BEST ART DIRECTION

Anonymous
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Hugo
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

The Harry Potter films have earned more nominations in this category than in any other. None have won yet, and while there weren’t many new locations in the final film, it’s obviously their last chance to recognize it. It could be omitted for being more of the same, but I’m banking on its inclusion. From a purely objective standpoint, Anonymous deserves to be here, but if voters feel the movie lacks narrative respectability, will they go for it? (It explores the idea that Shakespeare’s plays were written by someone else, and its critics were none too kind.) Who knows how voters think about these things, but I’m guessing they evaluate the work first and the film second. I’m not sure if Tinker Tailor can go the distance, but it’s earned some key nominations so far and has an understated elegance and lived-in feel.

This is a category that favors period pieces and fantasy, so examples of the former that could find their way in are Jane Eyre, War Horse or even The Help. A couple of years ago, Sherlock Holmes made the cut, so its nominated team could repeat with the sequel, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides has a shot as well (the second Pirates film earned a nomination back in 2006). And bridging the gap between period and fantasy is Midnight in Paris, so that’s a potential spoiler too.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Anonymous
The Artist
The Help
Hugo
W.E.

Also a category that goes for period and fantasy films. Not that I’m totally confident of Anonymous getting in for Art Direction, but I’m even less confident here given that I see a broader slate of contenders in this race than I do for Art Direction. Still, I’m sticking with it. Madonna’s directorial debut W.E. was ripped by the critics, but the costumes look like just the kind of lavish threads the Academy loves. If The Tempest could get in last year, W.E. certainly could this year, and its nomination from the costume designers guild places it in the running.

But there are lots of fine feathered films jostling for position here, including Jane Eyre, My Week With Marilyn, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, A Dangerous Method and Midnight in Paris on the period end of the spectrum. Comic book adaptations Captain America: The First Avenger, X-Men: First Class and Thor all have a shot, and I’d rank their chances in that order even though Captain America was the only one of the three ignored by the guild. Unintentionally campy mainstream entries like Red Riding Hood (which scored a guild nomination) or Immortals could show up, but I’d say Jane Eyre is the most likely to break through if any of my five picks are wrong. And surely a couple are.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

Lay Your Head Down – Albert Nobbs (5)
Life’s a Happy Song – The Muppets (1)
The Living Proof – The Help (4)
Man or Muppet? – The Muppets (2)
Star Spangled Man – Captain America: The First Avenger (3)

39 songs – culled from 30 movies – are eligible for the award this year. A look at the list reveals a handful of movies that you probably haven’t heard of…unless maybe you worked on one of them. So the final list could include something unsung…though not literally, since, well…it’s a…it’s a song, so it has to be…sung. However, lacking the time to seek out and listen to all 39 options and therefore limiting myself to what I’m aware of, these are my predictions.

Under recently passed rules, no more than two songs from a single film can be nominated, so while I’d personally like to see “Pictures in My Head” from The Muppets make the list, I think it will be overshadowed by the two I’ve included. Elton John wrote songs for the animated film Gnomeo & Juliet, and one entitled “Hello Hello” has been nominated by a few critics groups as well as the Golden Globes. A known entity and former winner like Elton could wind up nominated. So could Zooey Deschanel, who contributed songs to Winnie the Pooh. Of the two that are eligible, “So Long” could make it in. Madonna won a Golden Globe for”Masterpiece” from her film W.E., but the song didn’t qualify for the Oscar.

As the press release linked above indicates, songs must be substantially integrated into the film or be the first music cue during the end credits in order to qualify. These 39 songs have obviously met that benchmark, but sometimes appearing over the end credits can be a detriment nonetheless. Also, the voting is scored in a particular way such that there’s no guarantee a full slate of five songs will be nominated. There could be as few as two, or it’s possible the category could be omitted altogether. There’s a strong enough slate (by Oscar’s historical standards, at least) to ensure the category will be included this year, but as there’s no way to know how many songs will make it, I’ve ranked them in the order I think they’re likely to show up.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Ludovic Bource – The Artist
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Alexandre Desplat – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Howard Shore – Hugo
John Williams – War Horse

Despite the questionable presence of War Horse in other races, respect for John Williams is likely to carry the movie handily into this category. Many are betting he’ll make it for The Adventures of Tintin as well. Personally I felt the relentless Tintin score was the equivalent of being bludgeoned over the head with a giant cartoon hammer for the movie’s entire running time, not a second of which seemed to go unscored. I’m probably letting my own reaction cloud my better judgement, but I’m leaving the movie off.

I don’t have full confidence in any of these selections except The Artist, which is a slam dunk. (In fact, we can call that one for the eventual win right now.) Hugo could come up short, but I’m betting on it getting caught up in an overall sweep. Harry Potter is even less certain, but Alexandre Desplat has done a really nice job on these final two installments, and here is a last chance to recognize the series’ music. Desplat has other chances as well, with The Ides of March a possible option for recognition. Jane Eyre and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy both feature well-received scores, either of which could find a place on the final list. The Golden Globes list included the W.E. score by Abel Korzeniowski, but I’ve neither heard it nor heard much about it.

I’d love to see the Academy get adventurous and nominate The Chemical Brothers’ propulsive score to Hanna, but evidence over the last few years suggests that the music branch exhausted all their adventurous spirit on giving Oscars to Eminem in 2002 and Three 6 Mafia in 2005 (sing it with me everyone…).

Excerpts from some of these scores are available courtesy of The Playlist‘s look back at the best soundtracks of the year.

BEST MAKEUP

Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
The Iron Lady

The makeup branch has already narrowed the field of contenders down to seven movies, from which three will be chosen. In addition to those above, there’s The Artist, Hugo, Anonymous and Albert Nobbs. You’d think the limited field would make predicting easier, but this could be parsed out in a number of ways. Personally, I’m not sure what The Artist or Anonymous are doing here. From what I can tell, the makeup work consists mainly of creating era-appropriate hairstyles and applying facial hair. Fairly run-of-the-mill stuff. Ditto for Hugo, although the few sequences involving filmmaker George Méliès making his movies do feature some more elaborate and outwardly creative work. Still, the fact that The Artist and Hugo are Best Picture contenders sure to be recognized across a variety of categories means either or both could be swept in here.

No Harry Potter movie has been nominated for makeup before, but it’s the only one of the seven contenders that features “fantasy” work, which is almost always represented. Between Voldemort, a bankful of goblins and all the battle wounds, I think it will get in. When it comes to more realistic makeup, I think the aging work done in The Iron Lady will trump the efforts that make Glenn Close look masculine in Albert Nobbs (though I haven’t seen either film and can’t speak to the breadth or quality of work). Finally, there’s Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life, which I know nothing about other than it being a biopic of French singer Serge Gainsbourg. I’m including it among my final three because it’s such an obscure selection, which leads me to think it must have a lot of support to have made it past higher profile movies.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Hugo
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Tree of Life

As with the makeup race, the visual effects contenders have already been narrowed down. The final five will be chosen from a list of ten featuring the five I’m predicting, along with Captain America: The First Avenger, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, X-Men: First Class, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol and the suspiciously sans-colon-in-title Real Steel. Say what you want about the Transformers movies, but their technical achievements are always superb. The first movie should have won this award, so I can only assume that too many Academy members felt a refusal to vote for it could be the difference between getting into heaven or going to hell. The second film wasn’t even nominated, but this third entry was better received by critics and audiences (which is hardly saying much), and c’mon – the work is undeniably impressive. I think it will make it.

The Tree of Life‘s effects are as old school in technique as they are in substance, but goddamn if they aren’t pretty to look at. It’s possible that branch members will appreciate the throwback in a world dominated by computer graphics (though to be fair, the movie does include some CGI). Current industry leaders may not be able to resist an opportunity to honor one of the pioneers, Douglas Trumbull, whose credits include 2001: A Space Odyssey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Blade Runner – movies that, along with Star Wars, probably inspired most of them to enter the field in the first place. Adding to its chances is the fact that the effects are featured front and center – they’re pretty much all you’re looking at for a good 20 minutes of the movie.

I can’t recall anything in Hugo that was especially impressive from an effects standpoint, but it’s the only certain Best Picture nominee that features effects prominently, and usually one such film makes the cut. Of the remaining five, the most likely spoilers are Captain America and Mission: Impossible. The former’s most notable achievement is making the impossibly buff Chris Evans look as scrawny as his 12 year-old self. (Seriously…I knew Chris Evans when he was 12, and that’s exactly what he looked like.) The result is good, but not quite seamless…and since it builds on work seen a few years ago in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it might not be able to push through. As for Mission: Impossible, the effects are more subtle, which always means an uphill battle. But the film has been received with high praise from critics and audiences, and the work is solid. It could happen. I don’t see X-Men or Real Steel advancing, and although each of the previous Pirates movies has been nominated, I don’t remember anything in this one as elaborate or impressive as the first film’s skeleton pirates or the second and third films’ Davy Jones.

BEST SOUND EDITING

Rango
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Super 8
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

BEST SOUND MIXING

Hanna
Hugo
Super 8
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

I always preface talk of sound awards by pointing out that I have no understanding of what really goes into creating sound for film, nor distinguishing between great, good or poor sound. As for the difference between sound editing and sound mixing, I’ve never been able to keep that straight either. For the curious among you, this short article from The Hollywood Reporter offers explanations of the two disciplines from some of its practitioners. So all of that said, my predictions in these two categories are always crapshoots where a couple of things are likely to stick. I’m relying on instinct; a review of past nominees; the wisdom of Gerard Kennedy, who covers below-the-line categories for the great Oscar website In Contention; and nominations from both The Cinema Audio Society and the Motion Picture Sound Editors.

I could list out other options that might score a nomination if any of those above miss, but there are so many possible contenders it seems pointless. So I’ll do it up Wheel of Fortune style. For the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune, the contestant picks a few letters and then after seeing which ones turn up in the clue, they get to pick a few more. So here are four more movies that I would say have a good shot of showing up in one or both categories: The Adventures of Tintin, Cars 2, Drive and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Vanna, how’d I do?

And so now we wait. As usual, I remain woefully uninformed in the areas of documentaries, foreign language films and short subjects…but do you really want to read any more of this crap? Tomorrow morning at the ungodly time of 5:38 PST, Academy president Tom Sherak and actress Jennifer Lawrence – past Best Actress nominee and future Hunger Games heroine – will announce the nominees. I’m sure you’d be tossing and turning tonight with anticipation, so I’m glad I was able to provide this commentary to put you to sleep. Sweet dreams…I leave you with the first Oscar promo of the season, which debuted a few weeks ago. They’re not wasting any time…

Originally published at I-am-DB.com

Editor’s Note: Once upon a time, there was a renegade website called Randomtitle.com that featured a number of present ROTI contributors, and ruled a shady corner of the Internet until it was shut down by the Department of Homeland Security. One of the brave souls who toiled on that site was Vicious Rumors, whose best work for Randomtitle included a comprehensive takedown of the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog. Although his past work has passed into the digital ether, VR returns in 2012 to analyze the best and most ridiculous items sold by the venerable retailer.

The Hammacher Schlemmer Company is a well-regarded retailer with operations dating back to the mid-19th century. It has evolved over the years to become the world’s foremost dealer in eccentricities, high-priced curios, and unnecessary assemblages of plastic and LED lights. To be sure, their inventory does contain many useful items such as VHS-to-DVD converters and wearable tents — but for every brilliant construct of human ingenuity, you’ll discover a woefully misguided tchotchke permanently staining the company’s good name like vomit upon a fine Persian rug. For example, while they do sell a flying car – which none can deny is a must-have item — the awkwardly-named Traveler’s Bed Bug Thwarting Sleeping Cocoon stands as an embarrassing, unforgivable affront to good taste.

For precisely this reason, a trip to their online store yields delights and sorrows alike. You can marvel at the audacity of something like a $350,000 flying car being listed in a catalog, or wonder exactly why valuable textiles are being used to make legions of The 6 Foot Award Winning Ugly Doll when there is probably a homeless orphan in Haiti who needs a pillow. You can exult in the joys of watching a remote controlled bald eagle soar over purple mountains majesty to a Pure Moods soundtrack, or cry in disbelief when you discover someone has skinned an American buffalo to make a wallet.

And for those who enjoy a little color in their product descriptions, even a little history, many of the items are written with a highly-enjoyable, pedantic flair. Consider the following nuggets:

“Invented in 225 A.D. by mechanical engineer Ma Jun during the Three Kingdoms period, the chariot’s differential gearing system provided solitary cardinal direction centuries before the magnetic compass. Romantically known as the “South Pointing Chariot,” it is considered by antiquarians as one of Ancient China’s most complex inventions.”

“This is the recumbent bicycle born from the rich cycling tradition of the Netherlands, renowned for its country-wide network of cycling paths that spans from Maastricht to Friesland. Hand made in Dronten in the Flevoland province of the Netherlands from customized anodized aluminum parts, it is solidly constructed and precisely balanced, having endured adventurous ascents up to Switzerland’s famous Simplon Pass.”

“Celtic knots have decorated Irish art since the early middle ages, such as the Book of Kells, while the Scottish thistle is thought to have been adopted as the country’s national emblem in the 13th century after a misstep by a barefoot, invading Viking.”

If you dedicate yourself to studying this catalog, it is quite possible that in a single night you could both master World History and renounce your citizenship as an American consumer in utter shame. The homegoods of antiquity, the apparel of quaint Medieval fishing villages, the modern inessential bauble and the extravagant toys of the future are all for sale within the pages of Hamm Schlemm. Some are affordable to the average consumer, and some only to Richard Branson, but it’s doubtful even he would buy any of this stuff, and he owns a fleet of dirigibles, for God’s sake.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the more egregious wares for sale.

The Pirate Ship Playhouse – $27,000

The Power Nap Capsule – $25,000

The Brobdingnagian Sports Chair – $149.95

Perhaps the most useless piece of trash the catalog has ever tried to swindle us with, dressed up in a bogus academic reference poorly designed to distract and impress.

The ostentatious blowhard who writes these product descriptions has really outdone himself here. Given the assignment of somehow making this chair appealing, he reaches into his deep grab-bag of literary allusions and pulls out the lesser-known cousin of Jonathan Swift’s Lilliputian — the oversized Brobdingnagian of Isle Brobdingnag. While I have no doubt that the learned readers of this particular blog remember well the peoples and places of Gulliver’s Travels, I find it quite presumptuous of Hammacher Schlemmer to bank on the American public’s command of classic Irish satire when naming their goods. How many catalog shoppers can be expected to know what the hell Brobdingnagian means when they can’t even say it?

Whatever. The chair’s name may be pretentious, but the chair’s existence is just absurd. At 5 1/2′ tall, the chair is designed for absolutely no one. Andre the Giant is dead and the world is bereft of magic. Children might like to scamper up to the seat if only the chair came with a ladder. And Hamm Schlemm knows they have a flop on their hands, count on it. The description strains to find some crumb of credibility, championing the possibility for “full-body gesticulations.” Apparently, they have forgotten that all chairs allow for full-body gesticulations (except electric). Whether you’re sitting in a rocker, a Barcalounger or a stately Shaker ladderback, you have complete freedom to move your appendages — that’s what makes chairs so great. Praising such a trait is akin to celebrating a dog’s ability to take a dump.

Most preposterously, they write: “The lofty seat elevates feet well above the ground, where they’re free to dangle and sway instead of merely floundering in dirt or sand.” Yes, for time immemorial the conundrum of floundering feet has plagued those poor souls who sit in chairs outside. Too long have we endured the pain and hardship of restless legs flailing helplessly upon the earth, writhing in fury like untamed fire hoses, stumbling about the ground looking for peace. What we need is a comically humongous, unseemly chair.

The Award Winning Learn To Walk Trainer – $59.95

Some hyper-sensitive, ultra-liberal single mom who wants to ban dodgeball in school definitely designed this thing. Why do we need this? No one has ever not learned to walk. Every kid in history has learned to walk. Even the most stupid children find a way to walk, and they do it without the aid of this happy-faced PVC pipe balloon animal. Have you ever met anyone over the age of two who was just lying on the floor in a stagnant heap, crying out, “Help me, somebody! I never learned how to walk and now I can’t go anywhere! I know it’s a basic motor skill that everyone else just grows into, but somehow the feat escaped me. It skipped a generation. If only my parents bought me the Award Winning Learn To Walk Trainer, I would be advancing my feet alternately right now, left right, left right, moving in a forward motion like a regular biped. But tragically, here I lie!”

If this device does anything at all, I wager it will create a whole generation of weak-spirited, bow-legged youths who are still breastfeeding at age eight. Burn these wholesale.

The Handheld Fireworks Light Show Projector – $39.95

Because words cannot do this blasphemy justice, I urge you to watch this informative video.

A child who learns to walk with the Award Winning Learn To Walk Trainer will be given this terrible toy on his 9th birthday, right after his mom weans him off the teat. Mother will be too afraid to bring him outside for a real Independence Day fireworks show because he might get bitten by a mosquito, so she’ll make him go watch a sad, depressing facsimile in his room.

He and his loser friends — all of whom were raised by similarly self-righteous parents, and all of whom own the same sickly, pale complexion — will congregate on the floor and sit Indian-style, pointing this shitty flashlight at the wall and feigning amazement at the dim, blurry colors and tinny sound effects.

After seven minutes of this tragedy, the three AA batteries will drain and the lights will slowly fade, accented by the speaker’s death rattle. Then the kids will sit in darkness for a moment, listening to the booming echoes of the real fireworks show reverberate through the neighborhood, and they will contemplate the lost childhoods they will never, ever get back.

The Personal Submarine – $2,000,000

What the hell it’s doing in an online catalog, however, alongside the likes of bathrobes and Googly Eyed Clocks, I will never understand. What person in the market for a submarine would choose to buy it from an internet retailer? I’m sure it qualifies for free shipping, especially if you buy it in tandem with the flying car, but why buy such an essential item sight unseen? I wouldn’t even buy a bicycle if I didn’t get to go down to the bike shop and take it for a spin first.

With my luck, if I bought this thing with that 2 mil I’ve got laying around the house somewhere, it would show up on my doorstep with a nice scratch in the acrylic pressure sphere or, worse, missing a hygrometer or fluxgate compass. F that noise, if I’m buying a submarine I’m going to the submarine store! Or at least buying it used off James Cameron.

Honorable Mention: 

The 20 Foot Animatronic Triceratops – $350,000

Do yourself a favor and pay off your mortgage instead. You’ll thank me later.

The Elliptical Machine Office Desk - $8,000

“Designed to be pedaled at slower cadences that won’t break one’s concentration (or cause one to break a sweat).” What’s the point of working out if you ain’t gonna break a sweat? No pain, no gain. Can’t have it both ways, you idiots.

The Canine Treadmill - $549.95

Potentially forgivable, if it weren’t for the fact that the conveyor belt will deposit all of Fido’s poop on the floor.

The Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator – $699.95

If you buy this, you don’t deserve to have any hair.

The Canine Calming Wrap – $39.95

As if this item could ever compare to a real, honest-to-God hug.

Vicious Rumors peruses catalogues and makes people laugh in Los Angeles.

Now that the craziness of the holidays is over, it’s time for another wrapup of the best GIFs in the world.

C. Dave and I open up our various GIF sources with such eagerness, every day is Christmas morning for us. Then we share our best finds with you, which kind of makes us the Santa Claus and Krampus of GIF…

So let’s fire the engines!

Punch-Out Perfection

A Message to My Haters

Jackie Chan is Ruthless!!

Couldn’t Pick Just One Snape GIF

Do It…

The Ultimate Celebration

Badd Bitches Club: Gilda, Tilda and the O.G.Girls

Demolish Your Message Board Enemies With This:

Revealed: Carlton Banks’ Choreographic Inspiration

The Discovery of a World Inside the Moone

GIF You Were Here

Watch and Learn

The Ultimate Midfight Pick-Me-Up

Mac = Evil All Along

This is what I have to say to Tebowmania.

“Sold Out Seats to Hear Biggie Smalls Speak…”

I think we all know the answer.

Gateway Drugs? How Rude!

Who’s Ready For Lunch?

I…have no idea

Zooey, what did you think of this edition of This Month in GIF?

Happy New Year to all our devoted readers! I hope you enjoyed your holidays as much as I did mine. I kicked off 2012 with a decidedly non-tragic dive into the icy waters off Chappaquiddick, and despite an unfortunate hangover caused by too much Champagne Pong, I daresay 2012 is looking good so far…

It’s not too late, though, to quickly recap the past year in Rumors on the Internets history. 2011 was by far the biggest and most epic year in the history of this blog. My trained stat-counting monkeys inform me that the site had over 100,000 visitors in 2011, an increase of 20% over 2010 and 100% over 2009.

Our biggest month ever was November 2011, when tens of thousands of This American Life fans swarmed the site to read and comment on our 2010 writeup and photo gallery of the tale of Steven Raucci, as chronicled in TAL’s “Petty Tyrant.” Much love to Ira Glass for re-airing this episode!

Now, to the archives to recap an epic year on the Internets.

We kicked off 2011 with an analysis of the best music of 2010, singling out albums by LCD Soundsystem, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, and Janelle Monae for particular distinction, and naming Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy our Album of the Year.

Our extremely high-minded arts coverage included the awesomely-disturbing “Civilization” videos from the NY Standard Hotel’s elevators, “Lemme Smang It” from Turquoise Jeep Records, and the best and worst Lifetime movies of the year. ROTI published, for the first time anywhere, the amazing works of outsider artist Fredk. We lavished praise on the brilliant jeebus comedy team and their instant smash “Hobo Christmas,” celebrated the genius of Brad Neely, encouraged everyone to check out “A God Named Pablo,” and breathed a sigh of relief that one of our favorite Twitter feeds remained untainted by CBS.

Great songs abounded as we brought back our beloved Deep Cuts series, which this year featured Blur, CSN, Danger Mouse, Fleetwood Mac, and Talking Heads. (Would you believe the Mac article was by far the most popular?) And in a poignant and rockin’ post, I shared The 25 Most-Played Songs on My iPod Before It Died.

We continued our celebrity reportage, using our shadowy network of sources to reveal the sinister hotel-spying schemes that lie behind so many tabloid rumors, and breaking down the winners and losers from our HSX Star Bond account. As usual, our awards consultant David Burnce expertly analyzed the 2011 Oscars, opining on the nominees and predicting the winners with eerie accuracy.

At times, we were even servicey, letting y’all know about Google Talk Guru, sharing the hilarious online reviews of Osama bin Laden’s Hideout Compound, and puzzling out just what, exactly, Dikembe Mutombo said in his infamous Request for Sex. We gave Michael Eric Dyson a hand by creating an entrance exam for his Jay-Z seminar, and dispatched a crack team to eat every fattening food at The Big E and grade them from scrumptious to disgusting.

And then there was GIF! Our indispensable roundups featured a “You Are Not The Father” Povich breakdance,  Chubby/Ecstatic Nets Fan, and Lance Reddick tripping balls. Byrne grooved, Arrogant Jeopardy Kid smirked, and Michele Bachmann scared the shit out of everyone. We found Blake Lively with a mustache disturbingly appealing, and even got into the GIF-making business with the definitive Herman Cain Creepy Smile GIF.

We remained grouchy on a more-or-less constant basis throughout the year, slamming the crappy comedy of Garfunkel & Oates, bitching about the lack of originality of many participants in Wire Quote Day, and tooling on the self-published authors who ran ads in the NY Review of Books. (One of them even showed up in our comments section to accept our criticism with good humor!) Grouchiness turned to sorrow as we mourned the losses of Liz Taylor and Nate Dogg.

2011 concluded as it began, with a roundup of the year’s best albums — this time, we laureled Metronomy, The Horrors, Girls, Wilco, Fucked Up, Kurt Vile, Cults, Fleet Foxes, and Bon Iver, and gave Album of the Year to M83′s Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. We also leveraged new technology to create an acclaimed Spotify playlist with hundreds of the best songs of 2011.

This site wouldn’t exist without your support and readership, and I am grateful to the entire ROTI team that suggested and collaborated on so many of these posts throughout the year, every site that linked to us (especially Razzball, Kissing Contest and Casual Hoya), and anyone who shared our posts with friends, forums or social networks. Our cadre of rumor-mongers continues to grow, with comment sections bustling, Facebook and Twitter armies mounting, and more active participants joining up every day. World takeover seems imminent.

Rumors on the Internets has some cool new stuff planned for 2012, and we’ll continue to provide the features you love along the way. Keep reading and you will be rewarded. Peace!

And here we are. The final installment of our countdown.

I’d like to take a moment to thank our panelists. They make this effort possible with their wisdom, commitment and knowledge.

Also, I need to share with you this amazing Flavorwire article that stereotypes you based on what your favorite album of the year is!

Our Best of 2011 Spotify playlist is now completely revealed. Enjoy, my friends.

Let’s bring this home!

#10. Metronomy, The English Riviera

Apparently I’m one of the few music junkies stateside who thought this album was insanely good, although it was very well-received in Britain and is the last of the many Mercury Prize nominees on this list. I was completely floored by The English Riviera and it hasn’t lost its luster after many, many listens.

Check out this cut, “Corrine,” which reminds me a little bit of vintage Eno:

The English quartet led by Joseph Mount has a reshuffled lineup for this album, with the notable and extremely welcome additions of Anna Prior on drums and vocals and Gbenga Adelekan on bass. Both dominate on songs like “Everything Goes My Way.” Metronomy knows the power of repetition in establishing a magnificent groove, and they aren’t afraid to dwell on a riff, bassline or refrain until the listener is transported to planet funk. Other amazing songs include “The Bay” and “She Wants,” but the highlight of the album for me is “Some Written,” which begins as a gentle melody and builds into a full blown jam.

I’m not so bold as to go out on a limb with a record that nobody on the panel (except me) voted for and name it the best of the year. But The English Riviera might be my personal favorite of 2011. I will wager that you’ll enjoy it too.

#9. The Horrors, Skying

Two of the most esteemed members of our panel, Mikey Jones and DBuu, called Skying the best album of the year. Unless you are actually a member of The Horrors, they are cooler than you and I suggest you listen up when they start laying down the truth. I certainly did, and this album didn’t let me down.

Allow me to yield the floor to DBuu, who in my estimation nailed it: “I really gave The Horrors a hard time after they switched from being a horror garage punk band to being a, I guess, shoegaze-y post-punk band (that’s what it says on their wikipedia). But when you listen to their albums sequentially, you can see the progression, and Skying, however detached from their goth punk roots, is just a great album. The songs range from slower and atmospheric to upbeat and almost poppy, but everything makes sense. It has strong singles but can also be listened to in one continuous sitting, which to me is the sign of a good record. “

Skying might not be on your radar, but I picked out a couple of tunes for you to check out on Spotify, and the whole album is more than worth a listen. Get on it, people!

#8. Girls, Father, Son, Holy Ghost

First things first. “Honey Bunny” is easily one of my favorite songs of the year.

Girls has a knack for a great melody and isn’t too cool to unleash a terrific hook. Though it’s highly inspired by California bands of yore, this album doesn’t have the “trying to replicate the Laurel Canyon sound” lameness of acts like Dawes. I know I’ve used the word “unique” to death over the course of this countdown, but Father, Son, Holy Ghost has a sound that defies easy categorization. It’s equal parts tender, timid, bold, and epic. Songs like “Vomit” have a spiritual, almost gospel feel without sounding canned or trite. Behold:

Here’s a good little value-added pointed out by Nils Coq Au Vin, one of this album’s main supporters among our panel. “Dude born into a cult  and rescued by a billionaire? Whatttt? Yes please.” To learn about the amazing backstory of Girls frontman Chris Owens, click here — and more importantly, check out Father, Son, Holy Ghost ASAP.

#7. Wilco, The Whole Love

I didn’t see this one coming, which is a weird thing to say about an album by a legendary band like Wilco, but I was pretty underwhelmed by their last couple of albums. The Whole Love is awesome! It easily fits into the pantheon of great Wilco albums like Being There and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, but Jeff Tweedy isn’t simply replicating sounds that have worked in the past — as always, he’s pushing the envelope and challenging his bandmates to follow. Check out the massive, seven-minute album-opening jawdropper, “Art of Almost.”

Anybody who doesn’t respect Jeff Tweedy’s songwriting skills already needs to close this tab and go school themselves, but suffice it to say, dude can pen a great rock song. This album is packed with them. I especially liked “Standing O,” “I Might,” and “Dawned On Me” (below), but there are also mellower tracks that come highly recommended.

The Whole Love is an instant classic. Recommended for all ages.

#6. Fucked Up, David Comes to Life

Now we shift gears to something more challenging. Many of the people I have recommended this album to have replied with “I’m not that into hardcore” or simply, “The frontman’s voice is a dealbreaker for me.” It’s true that Pink Eyes, the leader of Toronto’s Fucked Up, doesn’t sing so much as he screams. My ears rejected this album on first listen too. But urged on by C. Dave, who unequivocally called this his favorite album of 2011, I gave it a few more tries — and realized that it’s much more melodic than I’d realized at first. At times, it recalls the triumphs of London Calling with its mixture of fierceness and great songwriting.

David Comes to Life has a complicated narrative that’s a little difficult to perceive from the songs alone, and even when Wikipedia explained it to me, I still didn’t quite get it. Nor do I think it’s necessary to appreciate the songs. There are some cool concepts in there, though — like the ideas that characters in a narrative have an existence independent from the creators of that narrative, and that every listening (or reading, or viewing) experience is a little life, and every conclusion a little death, until the next time the album spins.

What really makes this album essential is the pure distillation of human spirit and powerful energy that Fucked Up bottles for your enjoyment. Check out this video — instead of simply setting visuals to the album recording, it instead channels the album’s spirit in an interesting and fun way.

If you only listen to one hardcore album in 2011, let it be David Comes to Life.

#5. Kurt Vile, Smoke Ring For My Halo

Some records require repeated listening to appreciate them. Others grab you on the first listen. Smoke Ring For My Halo is one of the latter. Tell me you don’t love this track, “Jesus Fever.” It’s so righteous.

Kurt Vile has been tied in with a couple of bands earlier on our countdown (he used to axe for The War on Drugs, and provided vocals on David Comes to Life), and his experience has delivered him to a place where he can create a genius album armed mostly with his acoustic. Not to say this sounds like classic early Dylan or late Nick Drake, but it has a similar magic — one man and his guitar, spinning tunes that are immediately legendary. Vile’s cynical edge grants effectiveness to clever lyrics like “If it wasn’t taped, you could escape this song.”

I thought this line from a SPIN review was spot on: “Having inhaled the obliquely fucked hauteur of the Stooges/Neil Young/J Mascis axis, Vile frames his own more hushed musings with alternately anxious and serene guitar.”

There’s nothing about this album that isn’t worthy of praise. Great songs, great performances, great production, great album. I absolutely love Smoke Ring For My Halo.

#4. Cults, Cults

Our panel went crazy for this record. Nils Coq au Vin called it the best of the year, Biz Cash placed it top 5, and Noish and Serious Nihilism slotted it top 10. It’s tough not to agree when you hear tracks like “Abducted,” which channels creepy 70s pop through an Arcade Fire milieu.

This duo was going to NYU five minutes ago, but blew up in 2011 and are now one of the hottest bands in New York. And with good reason, because their debut album is shockingly good. At times, they sound like the 21st century’s answer to the Ronettes, at others they straight rock. And there’s nothing better than occasionally looping in some dialogue of cult leaders preaching to their mesmerized followers.

I especially love “Never Saw The Point,” which you could easily have convinced me was a cover of a girl-group classic that Phil Spector wrote 50 years ago if I didn’t know better. Enjoy it now, accompanied by this amazing video of footage from The Last Picture Show that a genius made on Youtube:

I’m really excited to see what Brian Oblivion and Madeline Follin (who, by the way, is also on David Comes to Life) do next, because this album is like an Oscar-winning performance by a precocious child. Right now, their ceiling seems nonexistent.

#3. Fleet Foxes, Helplessness Blues

“So now I am older than my mother and father when they had their daughter…now what does that say about me?” asks Robin Pecknold at Helplessness Blues‘ outset. It’s a fitting epigraph for this album, which might well be dubbed Quarterlife Crisis of a Boomer’s Heir.

Pecknold continues to model his music on inspirations like David Crosby and Joni Mitchell, and his band is just as amazing at harmonizing and playing as they were on the band’s self-titled debut. But on Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes seem more sure of themselves, and their music is more daring and more personal in nature. The result is a truly superb album.

I think the track that best encapulates Fleet Foxes’ growth as a band on this record is “The Shrine/An Argument.” It’s an incredible track that begins with a section reminiscent of the band’s debut, then transitions to a stomping groove with chord changes I can only describe as “triumphant.” Heavy, dank harmonic vocals return, before the song segues into a free jazz finale led by multi-instrumentalist Morgan Henderson.

I had occasion to see Fleet Foxes touring behind this record and their performance was outstanding. They’re clearly developing into one of the better bands of this era and I am unbelievably eager to see if they make the critical third-album leap to greatness. But in the meantime, Helplessness Blues is an outstanding effort, a complete album that rewards with every listen.

#2. Bon Iver, Bon Iver

Jaw-droppingly good. I don’t think I need to spill too many pixels justifying this pick. Bon Iver was a commercial and critical success, got a ton of Grammy nominations, was named album of the year by Pitchfork, and received more votes from our panel than any other album.

I mean, check out this video. Music doesn’t get much better than this in 2011.

Another incredible song — this connects with me on such a meaningful level:

Since it’s kind of pointless to explain to you why Justin Vernon’s latest is so good — it just is, listen to it and you will see — I want to hit a more interesting topic. The matter of “Beth/Rest.”

At the end of the album, BI drops a song that seems stylistically dissonant with the rest of the record. As C. Dave put it upon first listen, “Wow, I call major shenanigans on the final song, “Beth/Rest.” What a bizarre and idiotic stylistic shift. A genius nine song suite topped with a Bryan Adams leftover. Totally button-hooked by that one. Seems like a gag gone awry. Jeez.”

I feel differently — although I certainly get C. Dave’s point, I actually liked the song. In the 80s renaissance that is music in 2011, and at a point when artists are bending irony over on itself to the point that it becomes sincerity again, I thought it was a ballsy move to drop a Bruce Hornsby-esque ballad at the end of this incredible record. But I’m the guy who can’t get enough of the Hall and Oates Emergency Hotline, so maybe my cheese tolerance is higher than most. Judge for yourself, friends.

So why wasn’t Bon Iver #1 on our countdown? I have to admit that Flavorwire had a point when they wrote that the stereotypical Bon Iver fans are “People who spent hours trying to decide between beige and off-white for their living room walls.”

Also, despite the fact that almost everyone on the panel voted for this record, not a single person put it #1. I felt that the lack of staunch support for this album opened the door for a more daring choice. Here it is:

#1. M83, Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

Why is Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming the best album of 2011? It’s an incredible blend of electronic and instrumental music, a completely epic release that’s best experienced as a whole, filled with awesome songs, and featuring the arguable song of the year. In short, M83′s latest release is symbolic of everything great about music today.

M83 is led by genius Frenchman Anthony Gonzalez, and features a cast of talented musicians. Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming was produced by Justin Meldal-Johnson, who’s been a personal hero of mine since he ruled the bass on Beck’s Midnite Vultures. This album grabbed me on first listen, but you don’t have to take my word for it, just ask fellow HU,WD fans Mikey Jones or Business Casual. Or check some key tracks out on Spotify!

Vulture did an incredible job documenting the duel between “Midnight City” and Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” for the song of the year honor on various lists. If you’re scratching your head, thinking you don’t know “Midnight City,” just picture Victoria’s Secret models strutting across your television screen. (Or click the video above for a refresher.) Since I’m kind of sick of “Rolling in the Deep,” this faceoff is a no-brainer for me. And get a load of that sax solo! Glorious.

I mentioned earlier that M83 does an incredible job of blending digital and analog musical styles. The video above is the best example I could uncover, a version of “Steve McQueen” from a gig at the Music Box in LA. Though the sound is wonky at times, I think you can see how music that sounds primarily synthesized at first listen actually rocks pretty hard, and involves plenty of traditional instrumentation and tons of great vocals.

As you listen to HU,WD you’ll be struck by how many amazing songs are on there. They hit you in waves as you go through the record. Standouts include “This Bright Flash,” “OK Pal,” “Klaus I Love You,” and this track, “Claudia Lewis.”

For sheer ingenuity, blending styles old and new, and crafting an album that is cohesive and brilliant, ROTI awards M83 the Album of the Year prize for Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.

This concludes our countdown. As I mentioned far too many times already, over a hundred great tracks are on our Spotify playlist for your further perusal and enjoyment.

Thank you all for reading and have a marvelous Christmas.

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2011 Introduction, Hon Mentions, Rap Hits and Pop Songs Albums #50-#31 Albums #30-#21 Albums #20-#11 Albums #10-#1 ROTI’s “Best Music of 2011″ Spotify Playlist

Thank you to everyone who has been following along with this series thus far. Your readership inspires the ROTI team to attack ambitious projects like this one. Here’s a little gift I found just for you: ASAP Rocky and his crew freestyling over a Nurses song.

Today, ten more great albums to delight you and expand your mind. Some have moved tons of units, some have been celebrated by every critic in the land, and some you might not have even heard of. There’s something for everyone here!

Once more, our Spotify playlist of The Best of 2011 has been enhanced to include the latest round of records.

20. Drive — Soundtrack

This one is a little bit of a reach because many of the key songs were released earlier than 2011, but the compilation of the Drive soundtrack, the release of its score, and its unleashing upon the public occurred during this fine year, and so I’m allowing it to stand. This record was repped hard by a trio of Brooklyn masters, Mikey Jones, DBuu and Izzie B. If you want to step to them that’s your business, but I won’t be joining you.

So much goodness here. Cliff Martinez’ score evokes the handsome intensity of Baby Goose on a thrilling mission. Key tracks include Kavinsky’s “Nightcall” and College’s “A Real Hero.” The GTA: Vice City vibe that pervades this collection is really outstanding. The Boston Herald wrote that “The Drive soundtrack is such an integral part of the experience of the film, once you see it, you can’t imagine the film without it.”

But DBuu (of course) put it best when he said, “I loved this movie, and this soundtrack was a perfect companion to it. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t listen to these songs a few hundred times on my way out for an evening of adventure and thought that for that night, I was a real human being — dare I say, a real hero.”

19. Adele, 21

I pretty much disagree with everyone in the world on this album. Some call it the best of the year (including Time and our panel’s @drewkolar). Others (wikipedia would put a “who?” here, but you know who you are) call it commercial crap. I believe that it is neither of those things!

Izzie B pushed to get this on the 2010 list with an eerie prescience, even before it dropped in the US in early 2011 and reigned over the charts all damn year. If you’re down with neo-soul, especially the UK variety, you can’t deny that this is a tremendous disc.

Basically, 21 is half a classic. It includes the two super-massive hits, “Rolling in the Deep” and “Someone Like You.” If you don’t know these songs, I assume you have been in “the hole” or some other type of forced seclusion. I thought these hit tracks were legit, but I wholly genuflected before two of 21‘s other songs, the Ryan Tedder-penned “Rumour Has It” and the rollicking “I’ll Be Waiting.” If you can’t get behind these tunes, go listen to some shoegaze or something, you snob.

Unfortunately, the rest of the album leaves a bit to be desired. The middle of the album bogs down with too many ballads. Although some of 21‘s tracks are legends in their own time, it’s hard to say that the album as a whole is truly classic.

But hey. As my own beloved Lady McGregor put it, “Adele is impossible to sing along to, because her voice is so good that you just end up realizing how mediocre your own singing voice is.” Respect to two of the best cords in all of vocal-dom. 

18. The Antlers, Burst Apart

The Antlers’ 2009 gem, Hospice, was one of the most devastating records since In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. For their next act, they have thankfully not attempted to top that — but Burst Apart is touching and affecting all the same.

Check out “I Don’t Want Love.” Peter Silberman’s falsetto is out of control good. For a song without a full-blown hook, it sure brings it home in an effective way.

Other tracks I loved include the sweeping “No Widows” and the gentle groove “Rolled Together.” Two key members of our panel, C. Dave and Nils Coq au Vin, called Burst Apart one of their favorites of 2011. A strongly dissenting POV was voiced by A. Golden, who called it “overproduced garbage.” For me, Burst Apart was a success — try a few tracks out for yourself on Spotify and make up your own mind!

17. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Mirror Traffic

I’m on record as being 100% in the bag for Stephen Malkmus, and I professed my worship of drummer Janet Weiss (this was her last record with the Jicks) in my take on Wild Flag. So OBVIOUSLY I loved this disc. In this perspective, I was joined by wise heads like Noish and C. Dave. Basically, this record is yet more evidence that Malkmus is one of the foremost troubadours of our time, a guy who was ahead of the curve in his youth and remains totally awesome in his middle age.

If you like Malkmus, you’re going to like this record. It’s filled with great tracks, and his lyrical skills haven’t diminished one bit. Mirror Traffic is more cohesive and its roster of songs is deeper than anything the Jicks have put out since Pig Lib. Whether it’s a crackling rocker like “Senator” or a mellow number like “Gorgeous Georgie,” Mirror Traffic comes correct with a superb selection of Malkmus tunes, performed to perfection.

16. Lykke Li, Wounded Rhymes

Wounded Rhymes didn’t have a lot of people on our panel voting for it, but those that did were staunch and adamant in their support. Noish reported that he seriously considered it for #1 overall, and said it was less #2 on his list than #1a. Izzie B put it simply: “Lykke Li, J’ADORE.”

Likke Li’s latest has a unique and lovely quality that’s equal parts Sweden (where she hails from) and Los Angeles (where this album was recorded). In an amazing quote that I just scraped from Wikipedia, she said: “Los Angeles is such a mysterious place because there’s so much evil in that city, but there’s also so much light. You can be totally alone on a hillside and I love that kind of secluded, deserted rawness.”

Amazing cuts from this album include the pump-up track “Youth Knows No Pain” and the gorgeous “Love Out of Lust.” She’s got a really strong point of view and the ability to pivot from tender and sexy to badass and tough, turning on a dime from track to track. Don’t sleep on Wounded Rhymes.

15. Portugal. The Man, In the Mountain in the Cloud

My favorite people from Wasilla, Alaska not named Bristol Palin.

PTM (another band who formats their name in an infuriating way that I refuse to go along with) is based in PDX these days, and their latest album is one of my personal faves of the year, off a tip from C. Dave. It’s fun, funky and righteous — and highly recommended.

Lately, I’ve seen a bunch of acts and albums classified as “glam rock.” Of those that I’ve experienced, I think PTM does the best job of capturing that sound and bringing it into the new millennium. Tracks like “Once Was One” and “Got It All” channel Bolan’s spirit without sounding dated (like one of the more disappointing albums of the year, Blitzen Trapper’s American Goldwing). They can inspire you to wave your lighter aloft with a rousing repeating chorus, but also display solid range on jumpier tracks like “Share With Me The Sun.”

Supposedly PTM really works these tunes out in concert and jams on ‘em hard. I need to schedule a live viewing ASAP.

14. Youth Lagoon, The Year of Hibernation

A very respectable crew, spanning several cities, stood up in support of this record. Business Casual put it in her top 5 in a missive from LA, while Nils Coq au Vin repped it from Manhattan. Even gruff Bostonian A. Golden, who hated most of the music released this year, called this album “Very nice!”

The Year of Hibernation features some highly enjoyable tracks like “Cannons”:

This isn’t a record that’s going to floor you with hooks or riffs, but it’s intoxicating in its own subtle way. Its Idahoan charms and home-made style will appeal to any indie fanatic who prizes authenticity as a key signifier of quality. I think my personal fave track is “Daydream,” which grows and evolves as it goes, building to a climax and then slowly going out like the tide. Choice.

13. Panda Bear, Tomboy

Holy mackerel, I geeked out on this album. Didn’t hurt that I knew Mikey Jones and NCaV had my back on it, either. Some of these tracks are effing hypnotic. When you wait in intense suspense for a hook to come back and it crashes down on you, it’s like a drug all its own. Panda Bear is the world heavyweight champ of experimental music back to reclaim his crown on Tomboy.

“Atmospheric” is the best word I can summon to describe the ambience of this record. The best tracks suck you into their own little world, make you breathe their air, acclimatize you to their conditions, then spit you back out into space. Noah Lennox’ lyrics are completely unintelligible (to me, anyway) but that only adds to the album’s otherworldly feel. Though the songs don’t hew to strict structure, they nonetheless have an internal cohesion, with choruses-as-such rearing their heads from the mix to electrify the listener. The master strikes again.

12. Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Hoooooly crap this album is great. It came completely out of nowhere, apparently posted on a Bandcamp page as a lark by Ruban Neilson, formerly of Kiwi band the Mint Chicks, and now based in the PacNo. Once again our fearless Portland station master, DJ Walls of Sound, reported back to the mothership that an amazing record had been discovered in the Oregonian wilds. I quickly consulted with top ROTI music analyst CVD, and we concluded that a true gem had been identified.

Unknown Mortal Orchestra rules. It’s packed full of righteous grooves, with a psychedelic edge. Glorious basslines abound throughout, and tasty rhythms are everywhere. Neilson’s voice is awesome and he applies it perfectly to jams like “Little Blu House” and “Strangers are Strange.” The lead track, “Ffunny Friends,” has drawn a lot of love from some esteemed critics. My personal favorite is probably the ultra-funky “How Can U Love Me.”

In conclusion, this is an excellent record!

11. St. Vincent, Strange Mercy

Annie Clark recorded her third album in self-imposed exile to Seattle, living alone in a hotel and working 12 hours a day in a studio space. The results are stupendous. Strange Mercy is gripping, unique, and just overall awesome. Drawing from inspiration both highly personal and external — she pulled one of the craziest lyrics, “World’s finest surgeon, come cut me open” (“Surgeon”) from Marilyn Monroe’s journal — Clark has created a musical masterwork.

There are too many good songs on this album to embed them all here. “Northern Lights” has a magnificent chorus and surging instrumentation.  ”Cheerleader” stomps through creepy sludge. “Neutered Fruit” is bizarre and magical. “Year of the Tiger” is a bad-ass closer.

Clark plays many instruments, but on Strange Mercy her voice is the finest instrument in her arsenal. It transmutes from track to track, creeps in ethereally in the background, soars into her head voice at some points, rings out clearly at others. What a mighty album this is.

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2011 Introduction, Hon Mentions, Rap Hits and Pop Songs Albums #50-#31 Albums #30-#21 Albums #20-#11 Albums #10-#1 ROTI’s “Best Music of 2011″ Spotify Playlist

OK. Now we’re getting into the REALLY good stuff.

Our Spotify playlist has been updated with choice selections from the next ten records in our countdown, and I’ve also embedded video selections to give you a sense of what to expect from each record. Because I love you.

Ready…Launch!

30. Mr. President, Number One

CALLING THE SOUL PATROL! This record is shrouded in mystery, but when GoGoMrPoPo gives an album his blessing, ROTI is obligated to check it out. And what I found was a magnificent tower of funk power.

From what I can gather, Mr. President, also known as Patchworks, is a musician and producer possibly operating in France. He’s put together a record of titanic grooves that might be all freshly recorded, all remixes, or just stuff he found while digging through crates. I honestly don’t know and his label’s website is pretty obscure on the subject!

But who gives a whit when this record packs such a tremendous punch. It’s jammed full of stone stompers that will turn your dial to full-funky. Dank horns and tight rhythm sections, sometimes paired with sweet vocals, make Number One an outstanding selection for your next dance party (or headphone party).

29. Smith Westerns, Dye it Blonde

Okay…whew…breathe with me here, Generation Catalano. After watching the video below, I just sprouted a few gray hairs; these fresh-faced rockers are clearly way younger than the ROTI team. But like our musical wisdom, great rock and roll never ages. Even if the guys from Smith Westerns may not have been ALIVE in Teenage Fanclub’s heyday.

Smith Westerns’ sophomore disc landed the Chicago trio an opening spot on Arctic Monkeys’ ongoing tour. Funnily enough, though, I think this record is even better than Suck It and See!

Nils Coq au Vin put this one forth for consideration, dubbing it one of the year’s very best. It’s hard not agree with him when you hear Dye it Blonde‘s hooky blend. I especially enjoy “Only One,” a great and tuneful track that segues effortlessly from lite guitar riffs to beauteous chorus. I’m smitten with Smith Westerns and look forward to finding out what the future holds for this up-and-coming trio. 

28. Real Estate, Days

The pride of Ridgewood, New Jersey — as certified by ROTI’s Jersey expert, Schmentz. Real Estate has been rising fast in the NY-area indie scene, and Days justifies the hype. If you like tasty indie tuneage, this record is for you. This band has a refreshingly laid-back attitude that’s all too rare in today’s posturing music scene. Check out the charming video for their track, “It’s Real”:

Dogs, board games and birthday cake. How can you not get behind that?

“Younger than Yesterday” is a particularly awesome cut that amazes in its subtle gentleness. A western-surf-type riff fits neatly into its hazy atmos, and cues one of the best, yet tenderest, “Whoas” of 2011. Ever been to the shore in the offseason, when its beauty is little diminished but the crowds have melted away, leaving you with solitude and peacefulness? It’s like that.

Days doesn’t aim to blow your doors off — just to seduce you into its foggy realm. Mission accomplished.

27. Washed Out, Within and Without

High priest of chillwave Ernest Greene dropped his debut album in 2011, and the results were magnificent. Within and Without features a hot cover, a cohesive aesthetic, and one of the best songs of the year in “Amor Fati.”

Greene, a failed librarian (I’m serious) has used his synthesizer and homegrown production skills to create a surprisingly full and rich sound. He deftly balances driving beats against shimmering vocals, crafting a record that’s equally perfect for a drive in the country, a brisk walk to work, or a tender love sesh. Other highlights of this excellent album include the soaring, harmonic “Eyes Be Closed” and the beat-packed “Soft.” I’m not sure where chillwave is going to go from this first, uh, wave of albums, but I have a feeling Greene will be the one to take us there.

26. PJ Harvey, Let England Shake

Polly Jean Harvey emits one of the most aggrieved howls against British ways gone astray since William Blake penned “Jerusalem”! It’s not exactly a revolutionary statement to curse Anglo-American warlike adventures in the new millennium, but Harvey’s execution is so impressive that this record makes you want to march in the streets. I dare you to withstand the interpolation of “Summertime Blues” in the video below (around the 3 minute mark) while keeping your domepiece glued down.

I mentioned yesterday that this list is packed with Mercury Prize nominees. Well, this record won the whole damn competish, the second time PJ has brought home the trophy.

Harvey really pushed herself on this record and created some unique and super-interesting sounds. Her lyrics are unflinching and bold, calling her countrymen to account for the blood on their hands. Collaborators John Parish and Mick Harvey back her on a variety of instruments; this record contains everything from autoharp to zither. While it’s not always an easy listen, you have to give a serious hat tip to the accomplishment that is Let England Shake.

25. The War on Drugs, Slave Ambient

Epic jams that build their power on grooves, not hooks. Slave Ambient is a really kick ass piece of work. Nils Coq au Vin put me onto this, and I thank him. Check out this monster cut, “Baby Missiles.”

Slave Ambient features a totally rebuilt War on Drugs lineup, after guitarist Kurt Vile and others exited the band in 2010. Frontman Adam Granduciel doesn’t really miss a beat, creating a delicious blend on the band’s second full-length. The War on Drugs filter their songs through a thick shoegaze glaze, and the result is a mesmerizing album.

“Something weird is going on in Philly, is all I know,” wrote NCaV in a note accompanying his ballot. Amen, brother.

24. Wye Oak, Civilian

Andy Stack and Jenn Wasner named their band Wye Oak after the late state tree of Maryland, a 460-year-old specimen tragically destroyed by storm in 2002. Civilian may not have that kind of longevity, but I feel pretty confident that we’ll be rocking this record for many years to come.

The band packs a dense sound, wrapping vocals in odd doublings, gently strumming one moment and laying down fat riffs over thrashing drums the next — check out “Dogs Eyes,” equal parts twee and fierce. The production on this record is especially well done. “Hot as Day” thrums with rad harmonies and jumping beats:

This album was highly recommended by Serious Nihilism and backed by Secret M, who pointed out that Wye Oak also did a pretty mean cover of the Kinks’ “Strangers” on a separate single release. That’s awaiting you on our Spotify playlist!

23. Jessica Lea Mayfield, Tell Me

I don’t listen to a lot of country music, but when I do, I prefer country music that is awesome. Jessica Lea Mayfield’s origin story is one of those only-in-country tales — a young girl on tour with her family band asks her older bro to teach her a few chords, and after many months of practicing, songwriting and striving, finally connects with a Svengali who catapults her to fame.

In this case, the mentor is the Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach, who produced both Mayfield’s debut and this second effort. He does a really tremendous job setting the tone for Mayfield’s wonderfully sad and poignant songs, and she just destroys throughout the length of the album. Believe me when I say that Jessica Lea Mayfield rules.

Mad, MAD props to DBuu for turning this record up. Easily the best country album I’ve heard in many moons. The elegiac, stately “Run Myself Into the Ground” is one of the prettiest tracks of the year…with some of the dankest backing vocals you’ll find anywhere.

22. Nurses, Dracula

Our man in Portland, DJ Walls of Sound, sent a message in a bottle and the message read, “Check out Nurses.” He added, “It’s less and less often that you can describe new ‘hip’ music as catchy, but I think this band definitely has got that.” As always, he tells it true, and this trio of Idahoans based in PDX don’t disappoint on their latest album.

Not only is the video above pretty B.A., Dracula is a tight and mighty record. It’s sort of reminiscent of last year’s Local Natives album — jumping up with verve and Byrne-ian caucasian funk — and equally righteous. “Trying to Reach You” is a killer song that bops your soul. I’m also addicted to “You Lookin’ Twice,” a tight, crafty jam built around a masterful bassline and a variety of odd sounds and beats. This album will drink your blood.

21. tUnE-yArDs, W H O K I L L

Before I say anything here, WATCH this video.

AWESOME, right? Tuneyards (I refuse to write it that stupid way a second time) is the brainchild of the insanely creative Merrill Garbus, and with WHOKILL, she’s firing on all cylinders. Nate Brenner adds some mighty bass, which is pretty key, because this record puts the funk into your face.

Noish called this his favorite of the year, and added that he caught Garbus live and was floored. I also saw a commenter on Slate’s annual The Worst Music Review Series In Human History (my name, not theirs) call Tuneyards something created by a computer to impress music critics. Well, if so, it’s a helluva piece of software.

Garbus works her voice into every nook and cranny of your mind — her music is assertive, weird, yet gorgeous. Brilliant is the word that comes to mind. Also, genius. Take “Powa” — it pivots from pretty, soaring melodies to raw sex lyrics to funky howls in mere seconds. Powa indeed!

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2011 Introduction, Hon Mentions, Rap Hits and Pop Songs Albums #50-#31 Albums #30-#21 Albums #20-#11 Albums #10-#1 ROTI’s “Best Music of 2011″ Spotify Playlist

Our official countdown begins with albums 50 through 31. Although I was inclined to present these in groups of 10 with no particular order, that isn’t much fun. What’s the good of a Top 50 List if you can’t be totally outraged that a record ranked 47th instead of 34th?

So let the outrage begin!

As always, you can check out lots of music from this list on our Spotify playlist.

50.  Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie xx, We’re New Here

I thought Izzie B put it well in nom’ing this remix record of Gil Scott-Heron’s last album, and singling out “I’ll Take Care of U” for special appreciation. “Drake took that remix for Take Care, and while I really, really appreciate Rihanna’s vocals, I have to credit the original because the first time I heard that instrumental, I had chills up and down my spine.”

49. Night Birds, Fresh Kills #1

A great find by DBuu. He explains: “A collection of the first three 7″ releases about B-movies and freaks from this surf-ish punk band. There’s something about the songs and the style that remind me of music I got into when I was 15, sort of in that ‘touched for the very first time’ kind of way.”

48. Shabazz Palaces, Black Up

This is an incredible record that Noish brought to my attention. Did you know that Butterfly from Digable Planets is not only still in the game — he’s dropping records as fresh as anything out there? Black Up is a pretty raw, rhyme-focused record that is way out on the experimental tip. It’s kind of tough to explain what’s going on with this one, so check out ”Swerve… the Reeping of All That is Worthwhile (Noir Not Withstanding)” on Spotify.

47. Iceage, New Brigade

Wha-bamm! Punk rock Danes on a mission to slay. DBuu pointed out that Iceage’s hype exceeds their greatness at this juncture, but dubbed this a “solid listen.” Twelve tightly-packed, rapid and intense tracks make this album well worth checking out for fans of noisy rock.

46. Van Hunt, What Were You Hoping For?

Fresh off having his last album buried by the record label — apparently Blue Note dislikes F bombs? — this protege of American Idol’s Randy Jackson (it’s not as bad as it sounds) returned with a fury. This self-released collection of songs dwells on recession-era blues and the misery of modern life — but the tracks are tinged with an upbeat funk that’s tough to deny. Tracks like “A Time Machine is My New Girlfriend” bust out in all directions, making you work your mind and your head-nod all at once.

45. Cass McCombs, Humor Risk

Cass McCombs released two full-lengths this year, and while WIT’S END has gotten more praise, I think Humor Risk is a more enjoyable record. This journeyman troubadour has been touring for a solid decade and his road-weariness translates straight into the music in a great way. Cuts like “The Same Thing” combine a propulsive groove with haunting harmonies. It’s a very impressive outing.

44. Arctic Monkeys, Suck It and See

The scoundrels from Sheffield return with another solid record that Mikey Jones called one of his favorites of the year. Though they are no longer working with Josh Homme as producer, they’re still rocking remnants of that sweet QOTSA sound on tracks like “Library Pictures,” and Homme appears on backing vox for one track. I’m more impressed, though, by some of the cleverer tracks like “Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair” and “Black Treacle.” Frontman Alex Turner is in great form throughout.

42. Toro y Moi, Underneath the Pine

Another of the growing legion of chillwave bands, aka lone dudes with synths and computers composing gentle melodies in their tastefully furnished apartments. Chazwick Bundick (supposedly that is a real name) is a bestie of Washed Out guru Ernest Greene, but decidedly the lesser of the two for now. Underneath the Pine is a good record, though; “How I Know” is a particular standout track and one of the better achievements of the genre thus far. It’s got a pretty damn tasty chorus. Definitely worth a pickup.

42. Bright Eyes, The People’s Key

I’ve read that Bright Eyes purists are revolting because this album was deemed “too poppy.” I have never really liked (or understood what was so great about) Bright Eyes and I thought this was marginally better than previous releases, so maybe I’m too poppy too? At any rate, C. Dave calls this one of his favorite records of the year so I’d be a fool to disrespect that opinion. Forty-second place it is.

41. Veronica Falls, Veronica Falls

The witty DBuu again: “It’s like if the Vaselines wrote songs about finding love in a graveyard and did Roky Erickson covers. Live, the lady singer plays an cartoonishly large guitar. ‘Come on Over’ would be track #1 on a mixtape to a lady.”

40. The Black Keys, El Camino

These fuckin’ guys. A year after hitting our Top 10 with Brothers, the Akron blues-rockers re-enlisted the great Danger Mouse for El Camino and recieved…not a single vote from our panel. Maybe it’s because this album came out in December, or maybe it’s because they have been utter bitches about keeping the record from any kind of streaming action beyond a couple of singles (you can listen to a bunch of cuts on their website, but you have to sign up for the mailing list).

Although it causes me rage when the Black Keys complain about how they can’t participate in Spotify because they can’t afford to lose any money, then turn around and boast on Facebook about how they moved soooo many records and sold out MSG — I still liked this album. Soft spot for Danger Mouse, I guess. “Little Black Submarines” unleashes a massive thunderbolt about a minute in, “Run Right Back” is a great groove and “Lonely Boy” has some choice, soulful background vox (and an awesome video, above). Nothing here touches the remarkable “Everlasting Light” from Brothers, but it’s a record worth owning for sure. Even if these guys are being total dicks.

39. Atlas Sound, Parallax

The best solo record yet from Deerhunter frontman Bradford Cox, while in the guise of his Atlas Sound side project. This was a strong recommendation from Nils Coq au Vin, and I think it exceeds a lot of the other synth-rock I heard this year. Cox augments the synthesized atmospherics with urgent and impactful vocal performances that express his troubled mental state. Standouts include the gorgeous “Te Amo” and the shuffling “Mona Lisa.”

38. King Creosote & Jon Hopkins, Diamond Mine

One of several Mercury Prize nominees to crack our list this year, this is an incredible record brought to my attention by C. Dave. King Creosote is an old-school Scottish folksman, and Jon Hopkins is a new-school English electronic guru. The combination of Creosote’s homespun melodies and the stealthily-crafted contributions of Hopkins makes for a highly compelling release. “Bats in the Attic” is a great example: as Hopkins explains, “You can hear the guitar part from his original version at the beginning, but I played it back through a mobile phone speaker simulation to decimate the quality, so that it retained its rhythm, but none of its notes, giving me freedom to change the chords of the song completely.” Hell and yes! Now that’s what I call music!

37. Battles, Gloss Drop

C. Dave’s commentary on this album was too good not to quote: “Even though I was a bit disappointed, still maybe my favorite ‘sound’ currently. Wish I had a less lame word than ‘sound’.” With former lead vocalist Tyondai Braxton leaving the fold, genius drummer John Stanier comes to the fore as the key player in the band. A revolving door of singers yields mixed results, but high points are pretty damn high. I love “Sweetie & Shag” with Blonde Redhead vocalist Kazu Makino, and “Ice Cream” with Matias Aguayo has drawn web-wide raves. When Battles is locked in, they achieve an incredibly potent recipe of audio tastiness.

36. Wild Flag, Wild Flag

I worship Janet Weiss on drums. She absolutely crushes it. I’m on board for basically anything she does.

This album was recommended highly by the Business Casual, who I think I might start calling Biz Cash because she knows how to handle both. Tough to see this Carrie Brownstein-fronted band as anything less than a Fuck You to Corin Tucker, the only key member of Sleater Kinney who isn’t in Wild Flag (though a recent Portlandia piece in the NYer argues otherwise). The record itself is uneven, but I thought “Glass Tambourine” was a monster jam, and “Electric Band” was a keeper as well. Good call, Biz Cash.

35. Jay-Z and Kanye West, Watch the Throne

Easily the most overrated album of the year. But that doesn’t mean that it sucked, exactly. It was just kind of…boring. Kanye’s production always sounds great, and Jay-Z’s flows are tough to criticize, but there wasn’t much here to astound or amaze. My overall reaction to this record was “OK, I get it — you guys are rich.” Watch the Throne doesn’t access any ground that hasn’t been tread more impactfully before by either Jay or ‘Ye, and in particular, it seems like a huge step down from last year’s aurally astonishing and highly personal My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. I did not hate this record, but I can’t contain my bafflement when critics say this was the best album of the year, or very close to it. It definitely wasn’t.

That said, there were two tracks that I really, really enjoyed and that made this album well worth picking up. “No Church in the Wild” was a superb coming-out party for Frank Ocean, who is quickly proving to be the class of the Odd Future Wolf Gang. And while the lyrical content of “That’s My Bitch” is subpar at best, the interpolation of vocal performances from Ellie Jackson of La Roux and Justin Vernon of Bon Iver is Kanye West, Producer at his best. The fact that Vernon didn’t even know he was on the record until after it came out — meaning that, mid-production, Kanye was all “Yo, let me throw some Bon Iver from my files in there and make it insanely funky” — blows my mind. Hat tip to that, nose turned up at everything else.

34. James Blake, James Blake

Another Mercury Prize nominee. This debut album is awesome. James Blake was repped by Noish and I’ll gladly second. One track in particular earned my love and respect: “Limit To Your Love.” Dude can SANG. He takes a Feist cover and imbues it with some serious white boy soul. Then the audio effects kick in, gently at first — with a kind of wobbling thing going on that makes your mind separate from your body a little bit. Weird, disembodied harmonies creep in as the vocals repeat the same mesmerizing line. You can really lose yourself in this one. A helluva great song.

33. Cymbals Eat Guitars, Lenses Alien

An outstanding nomination by Serious Nihilism. The Staten Island band’s sophomore outing is a gem: Malkmus-inspired rock that manages to be both melancholy and uplifting all at once — and if that’s not 2011 in music, I don’t know what is. My favorite song is “Definite Darkness” — great vocals, backing vox, indie axemanship and passionate work from the rhythm section — that song pretty much sums up everything I loved about this record.

32. Radiohead, The King of Limbs

It’s probably unfair to hold Radiohead to the standard of their best work, but anything less than a masterpiece from this band seems like a disappointment — and this record is not a masterpiece. Still, legit songs like “Codex” and “Morning Mr Magpie” make King of Limbs a must-add to any Radiohead fan’s catalog…and I assume that category encompasses everyone reading this…right? Plus, Thom Yorke’s grooving in the “Lotus Flower” video was an eternal gift to the Internet.

31. Widowspeak, Widowspeak

A Brooklyn band whose debut seems pretty damn auspicious to me. According to Pitchfork, “Harsh Realm” was recorded after only six live performances as a band. Frontwoman Molly Hamilton is oft compared to Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star, but I’m also reminded of the tones of Best Coast and the somewhat obscure Other Desert Cities band Gram Rabbit. Essentially, then, Widowspeak infuses their Brooklyn rock with mellow Southern California tinges, creating a pretty heady brew.

I’m all in on songs like “In the Pines” and “Gun Shy.” They sound like the music that’d be playing on the soundtrack as our heroes head off to an epic and possibly disastrous showdown in the third act of the film. Put it this way, blood will be spilt.

Admittedly, this is an aggressive ranking, but I thoroughly enjoyed Widowspeak and foresee awesome things for this band on future releases. Thought I’d secure bragging rights now for repping them from the jumpoff.

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2011 Introduction, Hon Mentions, Rap Hits and Pop Songs Albums #50-#31 Albums #30-#21 Albums #20-#11 Albums #10-#1 ROTI’s “Best Music of 2011″ Spotify Playlist

I’m pleased to report that not only does my favorite Internet comedy posse, jeebus, have a new video out — they have just debuted one of the greatest Christmas songs ever written. Or should I say, resurrected it?

Wait, you really don’t remember that time back in the 80s (or was it 90s?) when all those famous stars got together to record “Hobo Christmas”?! I’m sure this video will jog your memory!

I officially have a new favorite Christmas song.

If this is your first time experiencing the magic of jeebus, then I have a real treat for you today.

jeebus is a web-based comedy crew led by Neil Hopkins (best known for playing Liam Pace on Lost) and John Forest (who recently drew praise from both ROTI for his work in Wanting Alex and Patton Oswalt for his work in Young Adult). Hopkins usually portrays the bewildered straight man, and Forest is the irreverent, maniacal comic relief; but as their efforts have continued, these roles have broadened amusingly. Each episode usually features a guest star turning in a superb performance.

Pretty much every video they have done is riotously weird, and is guaranteed to crack you up. Unless you’re a real elderly librarian sourpuss, you’re gonna love this.

“The Text”

“Don’t tell me to hurry. Then I’ll just hear your voice, telling me to hurry. It’s gonna take longer…”

In the dudes’ debut video, John summons Neil to his apartment with an urgent and mysterious text message. Confusion and tragedy quickly ensues.

“The Bike”

“What about….going halfsies?”

John gets Neil to take him bike shopping, then proceeds to infuriate his chauffeur beyond all reason. (Check this one out at Funny or Die.)

“FIFA!”

“My wife is retarded. She just told me today. I’ve been married to her for eight years.”

John and his locksmith friend Nate (played by Nate Corddry of Studio 60 and The Daily Show) break into Neil’s apartment to watch the World Cup. After Neil is compelled to let his uninvited guests watch FIFA, it turns out that Nate is a full-blown psycho and the guys are forced to defend themselves with whatever weapons are at hand. (Watch this one at Funny or Die.)

“Hot Dawg!”

“They were younger, by a lot of years, but there were a lot of them. And they were strong.”

Neil and John head to a Ween concert, but John quickly puts a wrinkle in their plans when he decides it would be more fun if his AA friend Ptolemy (Ptolemy Slocum, the guy McNulty framed for the serial killings in The Wire) came along for the trip. After John unspools Ptolemy’ horrifying past to Neil, he decides it would be downright cruel to refuse, only to find the decision’s already been made for him. (Watch this one at Funny or Die.)

“Born Free”

“And this is going to be my meditation dojo slash wine cellar.” “Slash rape room?”

John invites Neil over to his new place, but they are attacked by a feral child (the brilliant Will Greenberg). They manage to stun the wild beast, but soon imagine him as a proxy for their dreams. Neil fantasizes about bringing greater justice and understanding to the world, while John simply wants to live out the plot of every single 1980s Tom Cruise movie. The greenscreen work in this video is beyond outstanding.

“Hipster Detail: The Donut”

“Brunch used to be a treat. A sometime thing. These hipsters…they make it an anytime thing! They’re tearing at the very fabric of society!”

I particularly love this one because it stretches the definition of what a jeebus video can be. Hard-boiled Detective Frank Cavanaugh (Greenberg again, even better this time) is determined to hunt down and eradicate the menace that is hipsters. But when his partner procures a evil hipster foodstuff, he’s disturbingly attracted to the dark side of humanity. (Check it out on Funny or Die.)

If you don’t appreciate the comedy of jeebus, then I don’t want to know you. Begone from my sight!

The rest of you…let’s just watch “Hobo Christmas” again, shall we? Pass the mistletoe and let’s ride the sleigh!