Fortnight on the Internets…where everyone dies at the end!

On this episode of FOTI, we talk about Charles Ramsey, the man who inspired the entire Internet after saving three women from a Cleveland hell-house. We toast The Lonely Island’s new spring break / manlove anthem. And we ask, is Kickstarter totally played out after Hollywood actors have started using it to fund passion projects? With music from Brendan Benson and lots of great contributions from our Likers.

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

A Kitchen Nightmare takes Facebook by storm!

We had a lot of fun on Monday watching the chaos as Amy’s Baking Company, a Scottsdale AZ restaurant, engaged in open warfare with the denizens of Reddit on its Facebook page. The cray began when owners Samy and Amy Bouzaglo appeared on Kitchen Nightmares, in which world-famous Chef Gordon Ramsey arrived at their restaurant and attempted to help them. He soon learned that they were totally nuts and beyond any help he could offer, and he aborted the mission with extreme prejudice.

After Reddit discovered the episode, its many minions began flocking to the ABC Facebook page and leaving comments, which in turn sent Amy and Samy into a spiral of madness skillfully documented by Buzzfeed. The infamous Reddit detectives got on the case and produced detailed (and completely unverifiable and probably totally false) posts claiming the restaurant was a money-laundering operation and that the couple had a sordid, felonious past. All in all, it was epic.

Of course, in the end, they claimed they were hacked! 

Watch the episode for yourself (it is incredible) and you’ll probably come to the same conclusion we did: no way these people were hacked. Those insane posts were almost certainly 100% Bouzaglo!

UPDATE: We sent a top Liker in there to investigate and the results were AMAZING. More deets to come on the next episode…!!!!!

Report Card

Three super-viral videos made the cut this fortnight, each inspiring deep hilarity.

#1: Cleveland Hero Charles Ramsey

You had to be hiding under a rock to miss this one. The guy who helped liberate three women from captivity gave a ton of amazing interviews and possibly the best 911 call. We celebrate his genius and address the backlash that claims the popularity of this video proves that the Internet is racist.

#2: Whole Foods Parking Lot

This one’s been around for a while, but its truth and tastiness is evergreen. A wonderful video from the Fog & Smog crew. As white honky yuppie Prius-driving gentrifiers, we definitely identified with this jam.

#3: Between Two Ferns / Spring Break Anthem

Somehow we made it through 28 episodes without talking about viral video OGs The Lonely Island. That streak ends now! This subversive and brilliant video contrasts hetero hedonism with samesex romance in a manner so edgy, many viewers didn’t even get the message. We loved it.

Our Musical Guest: BRENDAN BENSON

This episode we’re excited to play some music by the great Brendan Benson, noted for his solo work as well as his stint in The Raconteurs! This guy needs no introduction from us, his skills as a multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, performer and producer are WELL documented.

We’re hyping up two things here — his 2012 album What Kind of World, which you need to check out, and all the new singles presently being released through his Facebook page — be sure to Like it and get on top of all the great stuff he is releasing ahead of his forthcoming 2013 album! All of the above is self-produced by Benson in his Nashville lab, and released through Readymade Records.

We’ve added these great BB tracks to our master playlist of all past FOTI musical guests. Be sure to check out the music of Young Hines, produced by Benson, if you haven’t yet!

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Internet Challenge Surprise!

This episode, Alison brings us the webgame inspired by the legendary theme to early-TGIF sitcom Perfect Strangers. It’s all about following your dream and making it come true! The site is Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now.

You tell the game your dream and then, as Balki himself, you chase it through the fields of Mypos and the streets of Chicago!

This leads us to a reflection on our favorite show from the legendary 90s ABC family programming block TGIF, including a musing on the extremely dark and depressing end of the puppet series Dinosaurs...

The Uproar Over Kickstarter

A freewheeling discussion of the controversy surrounding the new trend of famous Hollywood actors taking to Kickstarter to crowdfund their passion projects. Is this a new frontier of crowdsourced media content, or a sucker’s game where poor saps are fleeced for their hard-earned cash by TV actors who want to be movie stars? Will this save the $30 million movie in an age of microbudgets and megablockbusters, or is Zach Braff the worst person alive for hitting up his fans to finance his creative vision? We break it all down.

Some pertinent links:

• Richard Lawson’s outraged take on the Veronica Mars movie Kickstarter.
• Tim Heidecker’s screenplay about a man who squandered his family’s last dime on Braff’s dream.
• The founders of Kickstarter defend Braff’s project.
• The controversy surrounding Animal Collective’s Deakin and his Africa-quest Kickstarter.
• Steve Albini vs. Amanda Palmer in re Kickstarter.
• The Most Popular Girls in School Season 2: This is what Kickstarter SHOULD be all about!! Watch it now!

Shoutout to the Likers!

Once again we thank you Likers for being the best community of listeners we could ever dream of! Shoutout also to the lurkers we see creeping into our comment threads…don’t be afraid to come out of the shadows!

As always, Jeni Sue delivered gems on gems on gems, including the incredible website Textastrophe.

Some folks who earned serious props this fortnight:

• Liker Susan Y for being a tireless supporter of the podcast throughout social media! Check out her film Habibi, it’s highly acclaimed…
• Liker Doan for all the tips on the Charles Ramsey situaish. He’s OUR Cleveland hero.
• Liker Nate M. for tipping us off to the Twitter trend #followateen, and Liker Cara H. for tracking the subsequent #followanadult movement championed by Tavi Gevenson

And our Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Derick A! He wrote us an amazing iTunes review and has been awesome about sending in comments and spreading the word. Be like Derick, y’all. Give us a rating and an iTunes review if you’re feeling saintly and YOU could be the next LOTF!

Thanks for listening everyone! See you in two weeks.

Thanks to Skinny Lister and Paul Carey of The Music Management for the great tunes.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets just takes what it wants!

On this episode of FOTI, we throw our usual format out the window! First we discuss the hunt for the Boston Marathon bombers and all the fallout that dramatic event had on the Internet. Then, our collaborator Jeni Sue joins us to report on her adventures at Coachella. THEN, Randall, the expert in crazy, nastyass animals, especially the Honey Badger, joins us for a very special interview. With music from Skinny Lister and so many great contribs from our Likers!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

“Lucky Suit & Tie”

Before kicking off a content-packed episode, we start things off light with this amazing mashup of the most and least disappointing pop singles of 2013 thus far.

AMAZING work by DJ Daddy K.

The Marathon Manhunt

Mere moments after our last episode dropped, mayhem broke loose in Greater Boston and soon spilled onto the Internet. The drama, hysteria and blizzard of true and false information surrounding the manhunt for the Boston Marathon bombers required us to take an entire segment to unpack it.

Some of the ideas we talk about in this segment:

• Some of the best (and the worst) reporting of this story was done via the Internet. For example, this article on Deadspin (and the amazing graphic above) is the clearest explanation I have seen of what exactly went down as the terrorists went on the run.
• Watching the Reddit detectives — we discuss the much-publicized (and futile) attempt by Reddit users to ID the Boston bombers. Here’s a good piece by James Surowiecki on the topic.
• The sad tale of Sunil Tripathi, the missing Brown University student who was falsely accused of the crime before being found dead a few days ago. Alexis Madrigal of The Atlantic skillfully dissected how the Tripathi meme began and spread across the Internet (with help from Buzzfeed) before being debunked by Pete Williams of NBC.
• When breaking news is taking over Twitter, is it OK to keep promoting your TV show or fun event? Certainly, some people now consider that a breach of digital etiquette. TBD if that’ll be the new standard.
• Can anything useful be gleaned from a killer’s Twitter feed or social media presence — or should we just consign their thoughts and names to the dustbin of history, denying them our attention as much as possible?

Our Musical Guest

Coming off an appearance at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, it’s Skinny Lister!

They’re a five piece folk act and they hail from all over England, although funnily enough their bass player is from Hawaii…

They have been named the Hardest Working Band in the UK and they have seriously played every music festival in England and the USA that I have heard of in my entire life. Even the Vans Warped Tour, if you can believe it.

The album is FORGE and FLAGON and it’s highly recommended. Check them out on Facebook and at their own site.

Jeni Sue Survives Coachella

Pictured: “Midsummer Night’s Dream” nymphs

Our star correspondent Jeni Sue rejoins us with a report of her experiences at Coachella.

For hilarious and detailed narratives of her adventure, be sure to check out her blog!

Some of the things we talk about along the way:

• Coachella’s crowd includes so many teens and tweens…many of whom ditched school on Friday, leading to a LA-wide school attendance crisis. 
• Jimmy Kimmel’s hilarious Coachella video (to be fair, clearly edited after the fact)
• Did you know there is a new drug called “pokeballs”? Kids these days!
• High tension in the security line as scads of young women hide drugs in their secret places.
• Desert Festival Fashion: “Midsummer Night’s Dream” wood nymphs for the ladies, short-short shorts for the guys.
• “Standards” that groups of people used to gather in the midst of chaos: giant sunflowers, pool noodles adorned with Christmas lights, Nic Cage’s face!
• Jeni’s favorite part of Coachella: Mango sorbet INSIDE of a mango
• Sleeping through the R. Kelly surprise appearance with Phoenix
• Major Lazer’s hot riddims and Diplo’s Instagram feed (girls twerking non-stop!)

You can always find Jeni’s genius on our Facebook page (look for her trademark “– jsb” tags) and on her blog, Not Lena Dunham.

Randall the Honey Badger Guy!

We’re joined by very special guest RANDALL, the internet’s foremost expert in crazy, nastyass animals!

You must have heard his take on the Honey Badger, the creature he turned into an Internet legend:

Some of the stuff we talk about with the Internet’s foremost animal lover:

• His childhood love of animals and animal-movie narration
• How he came to record the soundtrack to the 60-million-view video on the Honey Badger
• His appearance at Pet-a-Palooza in Las Vegas
• The insatiable hunger of the Internet for more and more content from its top creative folks
• Randall’s talking Honey Badger doll, with profits donated to Animals Asia, and his philosophy towards monetization (“If you’re going to whore out, do it for a good cause.”)
• His guided meditation videos and rap videos and his ongoing quest to set up a Barbra Streisand/Wu-Tang collab
• The pride he feels about Tyrann “The Honey Badger” Mattheu’s selection in the 3rd round of the NFL Draft; and his powerful defense of Mattheu’s recreational drug use
• His “look” and how his fans react to it
• His beef with David Attenborough (“What a ham.”)
• What’s next for Randall?

We thank Randall profoundly for joining us for this great convo. Find more great Randall magic on his Youtube account, on Facebook, on Twitter, and on his own website.

A must-buy!

Shoutout to the Likers!

Hey everyone — subscribe to us on iTunes and give us a rating to help more people find our podcast.

• This Fortnight’s J. Sue Gems included this dramatic interpretation of the viral University of Maryland sorority letter by acclaimed actor Michael Shannon. Thanks also to Liker Natasha R for tipping us off to the letter to begin with! (On a related note, I just now found the amazing version done by Liker Lily V — aka Brittnay Matthews of MPGiS fame!)
• Liker Lindsey found the great men’s follow up to the Dove Real Beauty ads we talked about on the Facebook page a couple of weeks back.
• Liker Jeremy C sent along the new volume of Date-A-Max!
• Likers Doan and Nate M sent along comedian Nathan Fielder’s “drug dealer parent confusion” text prank.
• The dudes from Kissing Contest tipped us off to this hilarious screengrab of Gucci Mane in the courtroom. Their epic Reality Madness episode just dropped!

And the Liker of the Fortnight is LIKER ANDREW W from Austin (via Boston) for lightening the marathon manhunt woe with this amazing image of a man being interviewed on the BBC with a hot pink dildo clearly visible in the background:

Thank you, Liker Andrew W, for your always astonishing contributions to our Facebook page and podcast!

Thanks to Skinny Lister and Paul Carey of The Music Management for the great tunes.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets fears no spoiler alert!

On this episode of FOTI, we talk about a dadblog that sparked controversy and laughter, a Youtube genius who a cappella jams on video game themes, and discuss the process that occurs when we find out the true identity of an internet phenomenon — does it increase the love or ruin the moment? With music from The Lonely Wild and the usual array of great contributions from our Likers!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

Boston Marathon Tributes

Events have overtaken my commentary in the podcast intro, but in the excitement and frenzy of hunting down the perpetrators, let’s not forget those we have lost and the many more grievously wounded. Donate to the One Fund to support the victims. 

Some of the more stirring tributes:

• “Messing With the Wrong City” by Dennis Lehane
• Patton Oswalt shares his thoughts on Facebook
• “The People Who Watch Marathons” by Erin Gloria Ryan of Jezebel
  • Also, this amazing comment by user Ruby de la Booby

Finally, and perhaps most stirringly of all, this.

Internet Report Card

An all-around solid group of items this Fortnight — although some of our likers may disagree!

#1. Reasons My Son is Crying

“I washed the dirt and sand off his pear.”

A surprisingly funny collection of photos of two little boys hysterically crying, with deadpan descriptions of what their father did to cause such sorrow. A couple of our friends/listeners/dads were horrified by this blog and then started fighting in the blog comments! So many tears, so many laughs.

#2. Thug Kitchen

The secrets of healthy eating, as told by some hard-ass thugz. You’ll learn how to eat right and laugh your ass off along the way. Best food blog ever.

#3. Minnesota All Hockey Hair Team

This masterpiece, the third in a series, was brought to you by Pull Tab Productions.

Our Musical Guest

The Lonely Wild is a great new band outta LA that hearkens back to California’s too-often-forgotten roots as a heartland of country western sound, while also gesturing effectively towards the Ennio Morricone school of spaghetti western scores.

Andrew Carroll is the frontman; he delivers super tasty melodies that are wonderfully harmonized by Jessi Williams. Andrew Schneider, Ryan Ross and Dave Farina bring a full bodied and gorgeous sound on guitar, keys and drums respectively.

They’re thoughtful artists and their music sounds awesome, so be sure to check ‘em out and pick up their new album The Sun As It Comes.

Also, like ‘em on Facebook and check ‘em out on Bandcamp.

Internet Challenge Surprise!

This incredible rendition comes from Youtube star Smooth McGroove.

A perfect balance of irreverent comedy and reverence for classic video game titles. Bravo, McGroove.

Check out more great videos by Smooth here.

The Man Behind the Meme

Basically, we discuss this video and all the feelings it inspired within us — a discussion ranging from the Blair Witch Project to Krispy Kreme (aka Froggy Fresh) to New Girl. A free-flowing convo about secret identities, spoilers, internet hoaxes and how it all makes us FEEL, man.

You can preorder Mike’s book — Power Moves: Livin’ the American Dream, USA Style.

Shoutout to the Likers!

Some great items we had to recognize:

• Liker Susan Y sent us the webpage Putin A Rainbow, which mocks the Russian Czar for his attempt to censor the rainbow on account of its gaylove.
• Liker Nate M tipped us off to the troubling Chinese viral trend, Dogs Wearing Pantyhose.
• Likers Doan and Mike D from Kissing Contest sent us the Hockey Hair Team, the @Dadboner reveal, and this amazing ABC Family promo for Batman Begins. Help them get to 300 Facebook likes by clicking here!

And the Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Brian S of the great podcast Party Truck USA! He and his fellows sent listeners our way and infinite props to them for doing so. Thank you Brian! Check out their great podcast and Like them on Facebook!

Thanks to The Lonely Wild and Parker Nusbickel for the great tunes.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets is hoarding for a crisis!

On this episode, we celebrate Easter with a preacher’s on-the-scene video of a kung fu grandpa in a Food Lion parking lot. We discuss the dire warnings of an ultra-patriot who tells us to hoard now — or else! And in our latest Eight Minute Explanation, we break down the “red equal sign” profile pic trend that swept Facebook this fortnight in support of marriage equality. With music from Slavic Soul Party and tons of great contribs from our Likers!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

Subway Sax Battle

Thanks to Liker Doan for discovering this “only in New York” gem. If you appreciated the work of Sax Man #2, aka Sapphire Adizes (and I apologize for most likely mispronouncing his name on the show) as much as I did — then check out his Facebook page for more Great Time.

Report Card

One of our favorite slates in a long time, thanks to our Likers and the wonders of the Internets.

#1. Kung Fu Grandpa in the Food Lion parking lot!

Didn’t take long for the narrator, Reverend Aamon R. Miller, to monetize the bejesus out of this. Buy a T-shirt! I hope the KFG is getting a kickback at least. That said, we loved this video.

#2. Stalking GUTS

This amazing tumblr takes advantage of the fact that the 90s Nickelodeon version of American Gladiators, GUTS, listed the full names of its contestants. They do an outstanding job of curating the photos to match the names that the competitors took on before attempting to scale the Aggro-Crag. It’s a horrible invasion of privacy and we love it.

#3. The Beach Boys Shred “I Get Around”

Watch this while you can, it’s already been taken off Youtube once. And there’s really no way to appreciate the glory of this video without seeing it. Dennis Wilson’s doofus-like clapping, the rancid strumming, and the wacked out voices. Props to Youtube’s Cody Jackson for this gem.

Our Musical Guest: SLAVIC SOUL PARTY

An incredible ensemble that turns traditional Balkan music on its head, infusing it with funky backbeats and Brooklyn attitude. For a great rundown on the band’s backstory, check out this great NPR article.

Here’s a nasty live clip of SSP playing “Jackson,” one of the tracks we excerpted on our show from their recent-ish album New York Underground Tapes:

To hear more of the band that inspired Sufjan Stevens to say, “It’s terrifying, exhausting, and way more aggressive than a lot of the punk music I’ve seen,” check ‘em out on Facebook.

Internet Challenge Surprise

It’s Sold Out After Crisis, the website that asks: are YOU ready for the impending apocalypse? (Obamcalypse?) Proprietor/entrepreneur/patriot Damian Campbell plays on the darkest fears of every head of household with this 25-minute video that’s thoroughly compelling without actually being informative in any way. It’s an incredible video — like the UPS ads meets Cormac McCarthy’s The Road – that came to us thanks to past guest Brett Weiner. You should probably watch this video right now because it’s already been removed from the original site.

Even if this video is over the top, he’s right about the fact that we should all have a stash of non-perishable foods in case of natural or man-made disaster … but unfortunately, he doesn’t tell us WHAT foods to hoard! You’ll have to pay him for that — or just read on, because we don’t leave our Likers hanging…

We can’t say that this is Patriot Campbell’s list, but it’s a solid list of 37 items to hoard we found on the Internet, so it can’t possibly be wrong. Check out Happy Preppers for more deets.

1. Distilled water.
2. Canned liquids.
3. Dehydrated (powdered) milk.
4. Hard cheeses encased in wax.
5. Whey Powder or protein concentrate.
6. Canned & dehydrated meats.
7. Tea, coffee and bouillon.
8. Oils.
9. Whole wheat flour.
10. Wheat germ and Shredded Wheat.
11. Potato flour.
12. Masa Harina.
13. Corn Grits.
14. Oats and Oatmeal.
15. Bread crumbs and stuffings.
16. Pumpernickel.
17. Crackers.
18. Potato Flakes and au gratin potatoes.
19. Rice.
20. Pastas.
21. Raisins and dried fruits.
22. Fruit strips.
23. Canned fruits.
24. Canned veggies.
25. Beans and legumes.
26. Nuts, seeds and nut-butters.
27. Honey.
28. Iodized salt.
29. Sugars.
30. Spices and herbs.
31. Condiments.
32. Chocolates.
33. Vitamins.
34. Food bars.
35. Vodka.
36. Dry yeast.
37. Baking soda and baking powder.

8ME: Red Equal Sign

In a concise eight-minute segment, we break down the origin of this explosive equal-rights meme, the extent of its spread, our personal experiences with it, our favorite examples, and the question of whether it even mattered at all.

Here are some links we referenced in our chat:

• A solid overview of the memetic movement and its origins from Time magazine.
• Huffington Post breakdown of the Facebook data regarding who changed their avatar and when.
• The meme diversifies: Buzzfeed has some of our favorites.
• Backlash sets in — did this “slacktivism” even accomplish anything? The Atlantic Wire snarks.
• Legal analysis for the layman from Scotusblog on the Prop 8 case (gay marriage in CA) and the DOMA case (federal discrimination against gay marriage). We don’t know for sure, but it looks like the Court may keep Prop 8 dead on procedural grounds — meaning CA gets gay marriage — and kill DOMA on principle, meaning that gay couples can enjoy federal benefits if their states sanction their marriages.
• Next — a LOT more votes, elections, referenda, and battles over gay marriage, state by state! So keep that slacktivism AND activism up.

Shoutout to the Likers

You should obviously be Liking our Facebook page. Thanks to all the listeners and Likers for your support!

So many Likers to celebrate this fortnight, including these heroes and their incredible finds:

Thanks to Matt Moran and Slavic Soul Party for the great tunes.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets is watching you, xoxo

On this episode, we’re joined by Carlo Moss, the co-creator of viral Youtube series The Most Popular Girls in School. We debate whether it’s now considered rude to leave a voicemail, and we evaluate a list of Flirty Text Message Ideas from Seventeen magazine and rule them either “acceptably flirty” or “scary and disturbing.” Plus great music from Mean Jeans and a festive new song from Neil & John!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

First off, this is our official St. Patrick’s Day and Alison’s Birthday episode, and we celebrate the occasion with the new song from friends of the podcast Neil & John:

If you liked it (and be real, you DID) then click here and give the homeboys a “funny.”

RIP Google Reader

In sad news for internet nerds everywhere, Google announced that it’s officially closing down its Reader app as of July 1st, 2013. Listening back to the episode, I realize that I didn’t properly explain what a “RSS aggregator” is — basically, it pulls content from all the blogs and sites you like to follow into one place for easy reading. Google Reader was the greatest and best RSS aggregator of all time. But NOT ANYMORE because Google is ditching us for good, after gutting the service in 2011 in an attempt to get everyone to move to Google Plus. Lame.

I guess there are other alternatives available, but it’s hard to believe any of them will reach the content-reading-and-sharing glory that was Reader in the late aughts. #ShareBros4Life

Internet Report Card

FOTI was in a feisty mood this episode! We dished out scathing evaluations of this fortnight’s top viral items…

#1. Nick Bilton Hates Human Kindness

This post from the NYTimes Bits Blog set off many an infuriated response, both online and off. Times scribe Nick Bilton takes aim at all kinds of inefficient communication, arguing that in the age of the text message, sending an email to simply say “Thanks” or leaving someone a voicemail should be considered downright rude.

Although we have some sympathy for his underlying argument — that we can utilize new technologies to bring more efficiency to routine communications — passages like this one are too damning to embrace:

Then there is voice mail, another impolite way of trying to connect with someone. Think of how long it takes to access your voice mail and listen to one of those long-winded messages. “Hi, this is so-and-so….” In text messages, you don’t have to declare who you are, or even say hello. E-mail, too, leaves something to be desired, with subject lines and “hi” and “bye,” because the communication could happen faster by text. And then there are the worst offenders of all: those who leave a voice mail message and then e-mail to tell you they left a voice mail message.

My father learned this lesson last year after leaving me a dozen voice mail messages, none of which I listened to. Exasperated, he called my sister to complain that I never returned his calls. “Why are you leaving him voice mails?” my sister asked. “No one listens to voice mail anymore. Just text him.”

My mother realized this long ago. Now we communicate mostly through Twitter.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO son. That’s just wrong.

The most all-encompassing takedown of Bilton’s post came from Freddie DeBoer:

“The anthropologist Margaret Mead once said that in traditional societies, the young learn from the old. But in modern societies, the old can also learn from the young. Here’s hoping that politeness never goes out of fashion, but that time-wasting forms of communication do.”

“Learning” is a powerful word, a misunderstood one. I’m sure Mr. Bilton spends much of his time absorbing little facts, churning through the deracinated information that the internet spreads out endlessly, shorn of context or curriculum, just true enough to be mistaken for knowledge. Perhap this is how it has to be. Maybe Bilton is the wave of the future. For myself, I don’t think that there’s anything to be done; the punishment for people like Mr. Bilton is living the life that they’ve endeavored to live. I’m sure their manic effort to degrade and destroy any genuinely human connection is proceeding on with great efficiency; I have no doubt they will reach that rarefied territory where there is nothing human at all on the other end of that well-loved smartphone. I picture him writing this piece in a dark apartment, face lit up with the sickly blue glow of his laptop, chattering away in the dark alone about all the people who have failed him.

#2. “After Ever After”

Loved the production values. Amazing voice. Not sure what left-wing political talking points really have in common with Disney Princesses, though!

#3. Flirty Text Message Ideas

This list of flirty text message ideas to send your crush comes from Seventeen magazine, no doubt written by well-intentioned staffers. At first they seem fairly benign, until you put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving these texts. Then all you can think is CREEPER!! We review a number of the suggestions and rate them cool or creepy. (Mostly creepy.)

Our Musical Guest: MEAN JEANS

Billy Jeans, Jeans Wilder and Junior Jeans bring the punk fire from Portland straight to your stereo speakers. We’re listening to great tracks from their most recent album Life On Mars. Prepare to get rocked!

If you enjoy what you hear, like them on Facebook. They’re touring cool cities in the South (from Baltimore on down) this April, so if you dwell in those lands, get out and check ‘em!

Internet Challenge Surprise!

These really have to be seen to be believed. This episode’s surprise is comedian Deven Green’s brilliant voiceover parodies of the lifestyle videos produced by former soap superstar Brenda Dickson. Thanks to friend of the podcast Tara T and Liker Andrew W. for tipping us off to their pompous glory!

And I wouldn’t wait to click on them if I were you — these things are getting takedown notices all the time from a vengeful B. Dick, who does NOT find them funny…

Perhaps the best thing associated with these videos is the reference to them in the actual Brenda Dickson wikipedia page. I’m not making this up (although it’s since been edited out, way to go wikipedians!):

She created a hit, runaway internet film she wrote, produced and directed called, ”Welcome to my Home” that was put on by a fan. The film quickly garnered 3 million viewers. Sony Pictures (The Bells) took it down in a false copyright claim. Dickson produced the film into a DVD. This reality film paved the way for all of the recent reality series. It was taken over by a woman who decided to lip-sync over it, in an illegal, fraudulent copyright infringement. This so-called comedian attached onto the goldmine of the film that Dickson produced. It is believed that she has been hired to do these expensive lip-syncs over Dickson’s material to discredit her.

The film was way ahead of its time about fashion, diet and exercise and how to apply makeup properly. Dickson brought people into her home to spend the day with her. She showed her cat and dog and did a fashion show of over the top, couture gowns from the 80s. The industry took note of this film and suddenly a reality show was born. The Kardashians brought you into their home. Other shows did the same. High fashion became a Red Carpet must, and all of the industry was changed. Blue jeans and tee shirts were suddenly replaced by top designers.

There you have it folks — Brenda Dickson, creator of reality TV and trend-setter of high fashion. Ca-caw!

Carlo Moss from MPGiS

One of the creators of a webseries we love, The Most Popular Girls in School, joins us to explain how a comedy sketch turned into a viral breakout hit! We mentioned MPGiS on a recent episode, but with Carlo joining the conversation, insights were, how you say? OBTAINED.

Some of the highlights of this conversation include:

• The origin of the “Deandra” voice and how it developed into a sketch
• Director/editor/animator Mark Cope’s flash of inspiration and brilliant stop-motion pilot
• Developing the series into a full-blown show with help from producer Lily Vonnegut
• Inventing backstories to explain why he is shopping for Barbies for hours at a time
• The social media strategy of giving the characters their own Twitter and Facebook accounts
• Blowing up on Tumblr and the experience of receiving fan art and plot suggestions
• The excitement of getting Kickstarter donations — and the hard work of delivering rewards
• Dreams and schemes for Season 2 and beyond!

Well worth checking out for anyone who’s been interested in where viral success comes from. Sounds like hard work to me, man! So many thanks to Carlo for joining us — check him out on Twitter.

Shoutout to the Likers!

You should obviously be Liking our Facebook page. Thanks to all the listeners and Likers that helped us shatter the 300 liker barrier for our 1st pod-birthday!

• When you join up, you’ll get regular JSue gems from our top collaborator Jeni Sue: including this amazing video of a 6 year old breakdancing champ…and amazing teen Jack Andraka’s science award acceptance speech that blows the likes of Anne Hathaway out of the WATER.
• Liker Doan found amazing stuff this fortnight, like the “Nerdy Mountain Man Boss” who schools young employees with boss dance moves, and his hilarious comment “What a time to be alive” accompanying his find of the Buzzfeed job posting for “Associate Animals Editor.”
• Liker Mike D found the creepily awesome “Paula Deen’s Gastro Ghouls and Fear Fritters” – slowed down Oprah-eating-with-Paula satanic madness.
• Liker Nic S kept this hits coming, delivering a steady stream of videos tracing everything from shocking teenage racism to the launch of the new YouTube comedy channel JASH.

Our Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Jeff H! He brings it every fortnight with good comments and contribs, but went over the top this time around after he told Rebecca Black in person about the FOTI podcast. Putting our name in the ears of the Internet’s top viral sensations? That’ll get you LOTF every time around. Check out the new episodes of Jeff’s webseries, A God Named Pablo,

Likers, we couldn’t do it without you! Thanks for listening, we’ll be back in two weeks.

Thanks to Carlo Moss for joining us, and to Mean Jeans for musical assistance.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets is taking a nap on Bradley Cooper’s mom’s pink thing!

On this episode, we talk about Youtube sensation Goats Yelling Like Humans and the hilarious series of Taylor Swift remixes that it sparked. We celebrate a wonderful mashup of Under the Sea from The Little Mermaid and some of the great booty anthems of all time. And we talk about the Oscars — and all the frenzied online debate fueled by the show — with our co-conspirator and correspondent Jeni Sue. With a truly spine-tingling Internet Challenge Surprise and music from Portland band Minden!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

Billboard Now Includes Youtube Views!

What better way than with a GIF to commemorate the fact that with Youtube views now part of Billboard’s pop chart calculations, the Internet has cemented its position as the nexus of American culture! On the strength of the thousands of Harlem Shake videos we told you about in Episode 23, Baauer’s “Harlem Shake” is now the #1 song in the country.

Hopefully, this mindbending mashup of “Call Me Maybe” and “Head Like a Hole” is next to climb the charts…

Fingers crossed.

Internet Report Card

This was easily the most fun I’ve ever had editing a report card, thanks to the magic of Goat Week! (Copyright Liker Brad N)

#1. Goats Yelling Like Humans

Who knew goats were so expressive?!

This compilation was the fine work of the New Jersey crew who run bro-blog The Roosevelts. After racking up over 11 million views, it went on to inspire the greatest series of Taylor Swift remixes that the world has ever known.

#2. Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar faux menu

Brilliantly executed — but for the fact that a lot of these jokes were stolen from other peeps on Twitter.

And not like, “I made the joke about Bane at the Super Bowl first!” stolen. There’s no earthly way two people would independently come up with “Deep fried snake with a printed out picture of David Lee Roth on it.”

What Brian Mytko calls “haters,” I call “comedians with a legitimate plagiarism beef.” And that beef is sandblasted with five kinds of Guy’s special spices and viciously drowned in donkey sauce.

For the definitive take on l’affaire faux-Fieri, check out Richard Lawson’s post on The Atlantic Wire.

#3. “Under the Booty”

It’s “Under the Sea” mixed with Bubba Sparxx and the Ying Yang Twins. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why we loved this.

Our Musical Guest: MINDEN

The residents of Minden Manor serve up top shelf grooves that will enrapture you. That’s all there is to it.

If for some strange reason the photo above isn’t enough to sell you, check out this video — don’t even try to resist the wonder.

The band’s album Exotic Cakes is well worth picking up. We’ve also got a preview of the smooth new track “Agent of Corruption” from frontman Casey Burge’s forthcoming solo record. Check out more Minden at Bandcamp, Facebook, and their own website.

Internet Challenge Surprise!

Ready for some scalp tingles? There’s no way to truly explain this without showing it to you, so let’s just serve up a video of Youtube user ASMRrequests performing “Space Travel Agent.”

So, what is Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or ASMR? Vice explains:

ASMR is a tricky feeling to describe, and I can only talk about it secondhand. From what I understand from conversations with ASMRers, it’s a tingle in your brain, a kind of pleasurable headache that can creep down your spine. It’s a shortcut to a blissed-out meditative state that allows you to watch long videos that for someone who doesn’t have ASMR are mind-meltingly dull. Not everyone gets this feeling, and though some people can get the tingles through sheer force of will, most depend on external “triggers” to set them off. Triggers can include getting a massage or a haircut or a manicure, or hearing someone talk in a soothing tone of voice (Bob Ross, the “let’s put a happy tree right here” painter from PBS, is a common trigger), or even just watching someone pay extremely close attention to a task, like assembling a model. It’s not usually sexual—everyone who talked to me about ASMR mentioned that right off the bat—but like sexual turn-ons, different people have different things that set them off: the sound of lips smacking together, a cashier’s fake nails tapping on the register, your friend drawing on your hand with a marker.

If this works for you — more power to you, my friend. I’m sorry to say that it didn’t work for us but maybe we need to develop our ASMR skills further…

ASMR hasn’t yet been proven to exist, but neurologists are keeping an open mind. The human brain is a very strange thing indeed.

Jeni Sue Hits the Red Carpet!

Our beloved collaborator Jeni Sue joins us to talk about her experiences covering the Oscars for FOTI.

Topics include:

• Jeni’s red carpet adventures
• Host Seth MacFarlane — was his schtick sexist?
• Anne Hathaway and her haters
• Ben Affleck’s hard-working marriage
• The Jaws music cutting off visual effects Oscar winners
• The Onion’s controversial tweet
• J-Law’s stumble
• The incredible swag at the afterparties

Also, we had to cut this for time, but you really should see this audition by “Lena Dunham” for Zero Dark Thirty.

Shoutout to the Likers!

This episode’s Liker of the Fortnight is liker Nic S., who made an audacious debut by explaining a question we asked way-back-when about single serving sites. Then he sent along this great video of MC Propane rapping along to “Harlem Shake.”

Other Likers who made a splash this fortnight:

• Liker Brian S and Liker RJ both sent in the incredible website Bring in the Cats.
• Liker Doan found this great clip of a Jeopardy Teen Tournament winner who slayed Trebek
• Liker Zach H sent along this workout inspiration from a jacked-up monkey.

LIKERS!! Thank you for all your support. We truly appreciate it. Spread the word to your friends and see if you can help us get to 300 Likers at our one-year mark of podcasting!

Thanks for listening, we’ll be back in two weeks.

Thanks to Minden and Casey Burge for musical assistance.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets is ready to smash, Smash, SAH-MASSHHH!

On this episode, we break down the red-hot Harlem Shake video meme, debate whether the Women of LA viral video song is in slightly poor taste or the worst thing ever, and celebrate the heroism of Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker. The amazing Jeni Sue joins us for a lively discush. With music from the mysterious Tashaki Miyaki…

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

The Congressman and the Bikini Model

In the open, I describe how a series of passionate tweets from Tennessee Democrat Steve Cohen to a little-known hot blonde bikini model from Texas during the State of the Union address raised many an eyebrow around the Internets!

Of course, everyone immediately assumed that this was yet another horny politician conducting a tawdry affair with a young ingenue. But the truth was otherwise!

Turns out that the young woman to whom Cohen tweeted “Happy Valentine’s beautiful girl! ILU” was actually his daughter, whose existence he’s only known about for the past few years!

Since he realized the truth through a time-honored activity of googling ex-girlfriends (I’m kicking myself now for not mentioning this part on the show!), they’ve grown quite close. Here’s a touching pic of dad and daughter at the White House Christmas Party.

Report Card

Hope you guys enjoyed our new Report Card theme song! 100 bonus Internets and a LOTF crown to anyone who figures out all the source material used.

#1: Harlem Shake Video Meme

We begin by breaking down this explosive new meme that’s sweeping the entire world!

It began, in a way, with this clip from blogger Filthy Frank of his posse dancing to an EDM track (not, it should be noted, doing the actual Harlem Shake dance). Then heroes like these guys innovated the trend, introducing a hilarious jump cut into chaos that has characterized the meme ever since. (Perhaps indirectly inspired by these Norwegian masterminds — VERY NSFW link — ??) Virality ensued.

In addition to the amazing one above from the University of Georgia Swim and Dive Team, here are a few of our faves:

Today brings news that, with Billboard’s rework of their Top 100 charts to include YouTube views, the dance track “Harlem Shake” by Baauer just hit #1 in all the land.

#2: Pretty Girls, Ugly Faces

We learned of this Reddit meme through pleated-jeans.com, who had a great writeup and collection of the best. The concept is simple but delightful nonetheless!

Perhaps the best example of this trend is the GIF editions, which truly showcase how angles and facial expressions can turn a visage from comely to comedy:

Perhaps indirectly related — the amazing memeage that broke out when Buzzfeed did a post about the photos Beyonce’s publicist didn’t want the Internet to see…

So the next time someone posts a terrible picture of you to FB, remember — even the hottest people in the world look super ugly sometimes!

#3: Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker

Words can’t really describe this Internet gem, it just has to be seen. Witness the gripping narrative as Kai details his heroic deeds, stopping a madman mid-crime spree:

Alison highly recommends this interview with Kai conducted by Jimmy Kimmel:

For more Kai, check out the Gregory Bros remix of his viral video, an interview about his tormented life on the road, and a song written by Kai himself.

Our Musical Guest

This episode, we have awesome music from the Los Angeles dream-pop/noise-rock ensemble Tashaki Miyaki.

This band is versatile enough to pull off Everly Brothers covers, evoke Jesus & Mary Chain comparisons, and surprise bloggers and music writers at the USA’s biggest music festivals — all while maintaining a delightful air of mystery.

Here’s a great video of them performing and chatting with VICE as part of the Newtown Sessions series:

They are amazing. For more Tashaki, check ‘em out on Bandcamp, Facebook and Twitter.

Internet Challenge Surprise!

We’re back to two surprises this episode, mostly because I couldn’t control myself and kept sending stuff to Alison even though it wasn’t my turn.

Alpine: @Florida_Man

No US state can begin to approach Florida for sheer, outrageous cray, and a new Twitter feed celebrates that reputation with a collection of bizarre news headlines.

Florida Man Accused Of Waiving 'Klingon' Sword In Fort Lauderdale Intersection | bit.ly/X80LF6—
Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 14, 2013

Florida Man Fights Cops Trying To Leave The Scene Of An Accident, Shits Himself | bit.ly/WRKkN1—
Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 14, 2013

Drunk Florida Man In Golf Cart Shoots Hole Through City's Water Tower, Says He Was Looking For His Dog | bit.ly/Vy5JYD—
Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 16, 2013

Florida Man Hits Boyfriend With Plate For Listening To Too Much Alanis Morissette | queerty.com/florida-man-hi…—
Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 15, 2013

As Alison points out, sometimes the stories behind these headlines are even more insane than the headlines themselves!

Alison: Unhappy Hipsters

An amazing photo blog whose creators were profiled by the NY Times.

This site takes pretentious photos from the architecture magazine Dwell and composes short, poetic, amusing stories to accompany them, as follows:

If you love Unhappy Hipsters — buy their book!

“The Women of LA”, Debated!

Well, the entire internet has been talking about DJ Lubel’s new video, which portrays the Women of LA as narcissistic, vain, gorgeous creatures who completely refuse to have sex with him.

With Jeni Sue joining us, we go deep on this video — what’s good about it and what’s terrible. We also take a look at the backlash against it, where it was spot on and where it went too far. Plus, a sidebar about the ongoing, unfair backlash against Lena Dunham and her “lumpy naked body” on HBO’s Girls. Special thanks to Liker Nate for sending in his incisive comments.

For more, check out this great take from comedian/actress Erin Gibson. Here’s the Nice Guys of OK Cupid collection that was referenced. (And I have to say that I find Lubel and his co-creator Jamie Abrams’ tongue-in-cheek response to the backlash kinda funny.)

Shoutout to the Likers

Our Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Erin C, who responded to Alison’s encouragement to seek employment with Buzzfeed with this incredibly inspirational blog post / job application.Way to go Liker Erin C!

Other Likers whose pizzazz we respect:

• Liker Jeff H, who tore the cover off Facebook’s creepy scheme to get you to buy Valentine’s Day presents for hotties.
• Liker Zach, who brought us the tale of this Facebook-profile-pic replicating genius.
• Liker Evan from the LBC, who shared his unique tale of utilizing Hot Cheetos.
• and Liker Isabel from Brooklyn, who gave us a nice message of encouragement.

LIKERS!! Thank you for all your support. We truly appreciate it.

Thanks for listening, we’ll be back in two weeks.

Thanks to Tashaki Miyaki for musical assistance.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Fortnight on the Internets is down to bang!

On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brian Donovan, author of Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters. He’s survived over a hundred awkward, weird, and downright frightening internet dates and joins us to tell the tale. We also celebrate the extremely funny Youtube comedy series The Most Popular Girls in School, which is basically grown men playing with Barbies. Plus a great Report Card and shoutouts to our devoted Likers!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. You’d also be wise to follow us on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

Super Bowl Blackout Madness

In the open, Alpine talks about some of his favorite tweets of the Super Bowl blackout:

COOL! Bane's about to come out!!!—
sean oconnor (@seanoconnz) February 04, 2013

I'm looting—
Rembert Browne (@rembert) February 04, 2013

Breaking: power struggle for the conch has broken out in the dark areas of the arena.—
  (@netw3rk) February 04, 2013

I think "turn off the power at the Super Bowl" is one of the make the game longer buttons from Buffalo Wild Wings—
Cooper Scranton (@coopdawger) February 04, 2013

Oreo and its ad agency 360i made a big splash with this social media ad, released minutes after the blackout:

Power out? No problem. http://t.co/dnQ7pOgC—
Oreo Cookie (@Oreo) February 04, 2013

And then there’s the adventures of the LASTMAN competitors — guys who are trying to go as long as possible without finding out who won the Super Bowl — becoming the “last man” in America to possess “the Knowledge” about the Ravens’ victory.

This Man Trying To Become The Last Man On Earth To Learn Who Won The Super Bowl #Lastman read.bi/VDQnCI—
Business Insider (@businessinsider) February 06, 2013

Internet Report Card

We open the report card by talking about Bang With Friends, a new app that promises to connect you with Facebook friends who are “down to bang.” 

The idea is actually pretty brilliant, but the execution is sketchy. The creators seem kinda dumb and/or douchey — do we really want to trust someone with the email address “pimpin@bangwithfriends.com” with personal information about our bang preferences?

Thanks to Liker Per for tipping us off about this app!

Noted Internet genius zefrank created this magical clip about the little-known, highly-freaky creature, the tarsier. 

This animal is 100% real, lives in Asia, and looks like a Star Wars creature. This video is amazing.

Agency Wank is a tumblr that highlights the worst of the worst in ad agency website copy.

You’d think the people who do this stuff for a living would do a great job with their own sites and brands…but you’d be wrong. Unfortunately the blogger looks to have been scared off the internet by his angry peers, but the collection housed on the site is still worth more than a few good laughs.

Our Musical Guest

Photo by Samantha Marble

Brooklyn band Widowspeak has been a favorite of this website since their self-titled debut, with an entry in our Best of 2011 countdown noting, “I’m all in on songs like ‘In the Pines’ and ‘Gun Shy.’ They sound like the music that’d be playing on the soundtrack as our heroes head off to an epic and possibly disastrous showdown in the third act of the film. Put it this way, blood will be spilt.”

Now the band, composed of singer Molly Hamilton and axeman Robert Earl Thomas, have returned with their second album Almanac. It’s righteously awesome, blending gorgeous western-styled country rock with Brooklyn cool and a creepy malevolence that lurks just below the surface.

Check out Widowspeak’s Bandcamp for tunes, Like ‘em on Facebook and follow ‘em on Twitter.

Internet Challenge Surprise

Like half the internet, we just discovered the magic of The Most Popular Girls In School, a webseries that’s been running since 2011 and is currently building up a ton of buzz heading towards its 2nd season. As Know Your Meme points out, this show’s popularity exploded in January through an orgy of reblogging and spinoff humor on Tumblr.

Here’s the masterful first episode, which launches a 13-ep run of absurdity and hyper-quotability:

This amazing show is primarily the creation of Mark Cope, Carlo Moss and Lily Vonnegut, but features a brilliant cast of voice actors and amusingly modified dolls.

What’s more, you can interact with the characters on social media! Follow McKenzie Zales and Deandra the New Girl on Twitter; become friends with Brittnay Matthews on Facebook; or email Belinda the Lunch Lady (LadyTaterTot@gmail.com). And of COURSE the girl everyone hates, Rachel Tice, uses Google Plus!

We applaud the TMPGIS crew and look forward to season 2! Like them on FB for updates.

Not A Match: Brian Donovan

We’re joined by Brian Donovan, creator of itsnotamatch.com and veteran of over 100 internet dates, to talk about his many crazy experiences dating online and the wisdom of his new book, Not A Match. 

You certainly need to hear this conversation to appreciate it, but we hit the following subjects:

• A “performative reading” of the chapter where Brian describes his attempt to break up with Betty, The Girl Who Drank Too Much
• The crazy, intense questions that OK Cupid members have to answer to go on dates
• Alison’s thoughts on the girl who dumped Brian for being unable to dance
• One very personal story that didn’t make the cut in Brian’s online dating memoirs
• How Brian ended up turning an anonymous blog into a book
• The excitement of topping Terry Francona on the Amazon.com sales charts
• Brian’s terror of the people who live on the other side of his bedroom wall

BUY HIS BOOK TODAY.

It’s a mere three bucks and highly approved by Alpine and Alison, both of whom laughed uproariously all the way through.

Follow Brian on Twitter, read him at Thought Catalog, or follow his site on Facebook and Twitter!

Shoutout to the Likers!

Our Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Brad N “from the Internets” (actually, Austin) — he found our podcast on Stitcher and has been a reliable contributor ever since! Thanks to Brad for being such a loyal Liker and one of the pillars of the “Posts By Others” section on our FB page.

Other Likers we shout out to this episode:

• Liker Jeff H in LA added clutch commentary to the Bang With Friends discussion.
• The guys from Kissing Contest found a great tumblr collecting reactions from the baffled young fools who can’t dome why the great Stone Roses would be asked to headline Coachella.
• Liker Mitchell and his crew from Grey Pop Productions, who sent along their T’eo-themed Catfish parody.

Thanks for listening!

Thanks to Nick Dierl from Life or Death PR for musical assistance.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

Even if you don’t agree with our ranking, there’s a massive Spotify playlist you can use to peruse the selections and create your own epic countdown!

Rumors on the Internets presents THE BEST MUSIC OF 2012 Introduction and Hon Mentions Top 20 Pop & Hip-Hop Singles #50-#31 #30-#21 #20-#11 #10-#1 Best Music of 2012 (Spotify)

Fortnight on the Internets has a girlfriend who lives in Canada!

This episode is all about sports and internet dating, especially when the two collide in horrible ways, as in the Manti Te’o fake internet girlfriend hoax/debacle. We’re also joined by the brilliant Brett Weiner, a comedy video craftsman and an expert in branded content, who tells us about the best and worst things that happen when consumer products try to be cool on the internet. With music from Jenny O and the latest great finds by our Likers!

Four ways to listen:

• Click this link to listen instantly (or right click and “save as” to download mp3)

• Subscribe through iTunes – and rate/review!

• Subscribe through another site or app using the RSS feed: http://fortnightontheinternets.libsyn.com/rss 

• Become a Liker! Follow us on Facebook and listen through the Libsyn Facebook app (using the “Click to Listen” button)

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else. We’ve also continued our tradition of leaking out the topics on our @FOTIpod Twitter account, where we often have fun interactions with the people and sites we talk about on the show…

Pics or no one will ever believe you: Alison’s Instagram proof of partying with Bill Murray.

Not shown: Clooney, DiCaprio, and Murray “triangulating” around Alison on the dance floor. But I (Alpine) choose to believe that because it’s basically the best thing ever.

Internet Report Card

Our opening report card item is Deadspin.com’s shocking and media-narrative-shattering exclusive bombshell regarding the biggest hoax in college sports.

While other, more “reputable” media outlets breathlessly reported the bogus tale of Manti Te’o's dying girlfriend who inspired him to lead his team to glory, only Deadspin did the legwork to prove that either the Notre Dame linebacker was the victim of evil “catfishing,” or a truly sociopathic media hoaxer. Or both!

There were a lot of great exchanges on Twitter about this unbelievable tale, but this is maybe the best:

Also, here’s an incredible comment that a friend-of-a-friend-of-Alpine posted on Facebook. It’s so money.

I don’t find this Manti Te’o thing implausible. I certainly had dates where the girl didn’t show up & am reasonably sure at least one may have faked her death to avoid going out with me. This just isn’t so odd to the rest of us who weren’t Heisman finalists. So let’s make the #5 ND jersey a symbol for everybody who ever invented a girlfriend or boyfriend- you know who you are- or went to a prom with a cousin or spent a Saturday night at home telling yourself you wanted to watch “Sisters.” That last part might have been too self-confessional.

Huge thumbs up to Deadspin.

Rob Delaney’s dramatic reading of baseball prospect scouting reports is perfect. The timing couldn’t be better, with prospectin’ season upon us and spring training right around the corner. And Delaney truly nails the pulsating sexuality exuded by this collection of scouting reports assembled by Sam Frank of Harper’s.

We know our listeners are huge Bad Lip Reading fans, as evidenced by the Youtube channel’s triumph in the Best of 2012. That’s why we know you will love the channel’s new video, “NFL Bad Lip Reading.” The simplistic cadences and raw emotion of the National Football League lend themselves perfectly to the BLR style — and you have to appreciate the subtle sound engineering that really makes this video incredible.

Our Musical Guest

Photo by Glen Brown

Here’s a GREAT new artist that we heard about via bestnewbands.com. Jenny O’s a LA-based singer-songwriter whose songs are catchy and fun — sort of alt-country, but at times veering into different genres altogether.

Her debut album, Automechanic, is out Feb 5th, so stay tuned for that. SF-local fans of Jason Lytle (of Grandaddy fame) should check out their show together in Feb 26th. And if you like the tracks we sampled on this episode, check out her EP Home on her bandcamp site — and be sure to become a Jenny O Liker at her Facebook page!

Internet Challenge Surprise

Alison delivers a great article from Refinery29.com entitled, “15 Super-Specific Dating Sites For Weirdos Like You (And Us).” We celebrate the most hilarious selections and discuss which of these dating sites WE’D most like to try.

Highlights include:

• LARP Passions: For people who “get it” when it comes to live action role playing
• Twins Realm: Ever had your twin relationship get in the way of your love life? Never again when you’re dating another twin!
• Find Your Face Mate: For the true narcissist
• Ghost Dating: Fire up the potter’s wheel!
• Sea Captain Date: For people who get horny watching The Perfect Storm
• Vampire Dating: Of course this exists

Branded Content Banter with Brett Weiner

Joining us for this fascinating segment is the highly talented Brett Weiner, who works at Break.com and, among other things, develops branded internet campaigns for a variety of consumer products. He walks us through what works and what doesn’t work when famous brands try to be cool on the Internet.

You might know Brett from his hugely successful Channel 101 series The Parent Project (originally titled The Parent Experiment), which features his hilarious mom (nom de plume Genevieve Beaujolais).

Brett explains what DOES work: hire someone funny, trust them to do their job, don’t be afraid to get weird, and most of all, be HONEST about your product — even in a way you would never do in a television ad.

Some great examples of the form:

Brett also cites this fake ad from The Invention of Lying as the prototype for all ads on the Internet.

But perhaps the best part of this segment is the HOW-NOT-TOs, like the companies that obsess over their perfect customer and can’t get out of the television-commercial box. Wise up, marketing executives…nobody goes on the internet to watch the same ads they just skipped over on their DVRs!

Thanks to Brett for his outstanding insight. And if you enjoyed this segment, be sure to check out the Honest Trailers and other gems Brett helps create for Screen Junkies:

Shoutout to the Likers!

Liker of the Fortnight is Liker Mike D from the amazing podcast Kissing Contest! Mike received this coveted honor for his always compelling submissions like an “exponentially layered” version of Call Me Maybe apparently created by experimental musician Dan Deacon — and for talking FOTI-related smack on the air to his co-hosts.

More great stuff from our Likers and our Facebook page…

• J Sue Gems don’t stop! These Golden Globe red carpet moments re-done with child stand-ins are funny, and pretty creepy taboot. Remind me not to visit the website Toddlewood.
• Liker and past guest Carrie’s find of the lost footage of the Jon Brion Show with Elliott Smith and Brad Mehldau directed by PTA is amazing, and heartbreaking.
• Liker Brad N found a video where Gary Busey discusses Hobbits. Enough said.
• Liker Sara in Manhattan found “cats that look like pin-up girls.” Said to be the favorite type of porn for male cats fighting in WWII.

RIP AARON SWARTZ.

Thanks to Laurel Stearns for musical assistance.
Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.