March 13, 2014 Leave a comment
Fortnight on the Internets is letting it go!
On this episode, we break down the top viral items from the Academy Awards, we interview the most popular woman in NYC according to OKCupid, and we enjoy the music of Tweens.
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Oscars Report Card
Oscars talk is as delicious as Oscars pizza. We analyze the top viral items from the latest edition of the Academy Awards, and name our Best and Worst People of the Oscars.
#1. Adele Dazeem
John Travolta provided the immortal moment of the 2014 Oscars when he introduced the “WICK-edly talented” Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazeem.” We loved it.
#2. Oscars Selfie
Props to Ellen, this stunt really worked. Spacey for the gold, Lupita’s brother for the silver, Liza Minnelli (not shown) for the sadface.
#3. Fashion by Mayhem
Buzzfeed’s Rachel Zarrell had the best roundup of this kid’s insanely great paper-dress looks, which bring the red carpet to a whole new level of inspiration.
Best and Worst Draft
We can’t resist a good draft. This time, we picked our favorites and most hated.
- Alison — Best: Bette Midler. Worst: Whoever was responsible for the “Heroes” montage.
- Alpine — Best: Bobby Lopez for the EGOT. Worst: Jimmy Kimmel’s lame, classist skit.
- Jeni Sue — Best: Karen O’s performance. Worst: E! Correspondent Alicia Quarles.
Our Musical Guest: TWEENS
This Cincinnati trash-pop trio won our hearts with their forthcoming debut album. Behold this amazing rockage:
Internet Challenge Surprise!
Friend of the podcast Chris McInroy inspired us with the promotional videos he created for his Kickstarter, which feature his daughter Chloe re-enacting famous Henchman Death Scenes:
Badass Digest celebrated these videos, which hype up the fundraising for his future film, Bad Guy #2:
The clips feature McInroy’s young daughter, Chloe, re-enacting scenes from Star Wars, Tim Burton’s Batman, and MacGruber (!!!). Specifically, she’s acting out scenes that showcase strained moments between henchmen and their villainous employers. Not only does this require her to play both roles in each clip, but it also affords us the opportunity to see a 6 year-old girl force-choke a stuffed unicorn.
There’s still time to donate to make this great film possible — Get on it!
(We also loved his Tumblr: Pigtails of the Apocalypse.)
Talkin’ Internet Dating with Lauren Urasek
The newly-crowned Most Desired Woman in New York, per OK Cupid and New York magazine, joined Alpine for a freewheeling discussion of her dating adventures and newfound notoriety. She tells us about being besieged by thirsty suitors, explains why we shouldn’t be afraid to internet date, and shares wisdom for those adventurous singles out there!
Lauren shares an incredible array of staggeringly inappropriate come-ons at her Tumblr, They Really Said This. And if you would like to date her, eligible gentlemen, here is her OK Cupid page. Good luck!
Shoutout to the Likers!
As always, this episode would be nothing if not for the intrepid reporting done by JSue on the Oscars 2014 red carpet. To keep up with all the J. Sue Gems the internet has to offer, you’ll need to Like us on Facebook!
REPORT CARD CREDITS: Liker Neil H. made a pretty great comment when we first posted about Travolta’s “Adele Dazeem” mishap, posting “I thought Scientology cured dyslexia.”
Time to count down our Top Likers of the Fortnight!
#5. Liker Ghazal M. was concerned we might miss out on the unofficial (glad they clarified) video for Beyoncé’s “Drunk in Love” comprised entirely of emojis. It’s kind of a masterpiece and harkens back to days gone by dabbling in Super Nintendo Mario Paint animation.
#4. Liker Nate M. sent along the martymcflyinthefuture.tumblr.com that “allows your friends to hate you every day” through erroneous BTTF2 image posts.
#3. Keeping the Back to the Future 2 flowing, Liker Neil C. alerted us to a video that would soon go mega vi, starring Christopher Lloyd himself, Terrell Owens, Tony Hawk and others in what APPEARED to be an honest to God real online ad for the Hoverboard (huvrtech.com) – turns out no matter how much we wanted it to be real, it was just the work of Funny or Die.
#2. Liker Jeff H. found a video that unpacks one theory on who the Yellow King might be by tracking clues hidden in plain sight throughout “True Detective.” Maybe watch after tonight’s series finale? Catch the Throne – The Mixtape – HBO Presents on Soundcloud. Getting you amped for the April premiere of GOT season 4!!
And our Liker of the Fortnight is Liker RJ! For not only alerting us to the return of the All Hockey Hair Team franchise – 2014 edition – but also because he has launched a grassroots campaign to get rapper and online personality Froggy Fresh (fka Krispy Kreme) to come on the show as a guest! His efforts shall not go unrewarded — thank you Liker RJ for your support!
Thanks for listening — we’ll be back in THREE weeks!
Thanks to Grace Lee and Paul Hanly of Frenchkiss Records.
Our theme songs are by Snowplows and Motern Media.
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.