Our series on the best music of 2010 continues all week, but allow me this interlude to praise Billy Baldwin’s performance in the latest feature film from Lifetime, a network whose movies are an ongoing obsession of this webzone.

Lifetime’s examination of the crimes of Philip Markoff, “The Craigslist Killer,” is another entertaining entry in the network’s long line of superbly cheesy melodramas.

Suffice it to say that Jake McDorman does an admirable job of portraying murderous psycho Markoff, and the film ably plays up the tale in the overwrought style that Lifetime is famous for. I could regale you with descriptions of the entertaining scenes in this film — for example, the scene in which Markoff takes pictures of his dong in the bathroom while his innocent fiancee Megan McAllister sleeps — but given that this is based on a true story in which one girl got killed and another got her life ruined, it just seems in bad taste.

If you’re evil, you will find the entire film entertaining. But even if you’re not, you have to love the performance delivered in this film by one William “Billy” Baldwin, who plays hardened Bawston cop Detective Bennett, the lead investigator on the case.

With a thick Boston accent, a greased back ‘do and the tough street wisdom that comes from busting a thousand perps, Billy Fuckin’ Baldwin carries this film. Here are some of his finer moments in “The Craigslist Killer.”

At the first crime scene, the world weary Billy B exclaims, “This day ‘n age, girl in a friggin’ hotel room with a guy she doesn’t even know?”

Baldwin hates policing in the digital age. “We used ta be able ta see who the bad guys were. Now it’s all texts and emails and websites.”

The profilers are no help, as they have the perp pegged 100% wrong. They tell Billy that the suspect has no friends, no ladies, and no status. PSHAW! Baldwin has a nice zinger for those fools. “We’re looking for a big blonde losah wearing a Red Sawx hat in Bawston? Let’s get cracking on that one.” ZING, Billy, ZING!

Through some cyber sleuthing, Billy Baldwin tightens the noose by locating Markoff’s apartment building. “Let’s hope the cawfee’s good down in Quinzee!” he says as he orders robust surveillance on the building.

Upon discovering Markoff’s Facebook page: “Philip Mahkoff. Put a Red Sawx hat on him and he’s our guy. 478 friends? Who the hell would want 478 friends?“

Baldwin and his partner have the building staked out as Philip and an unwitting Megan attempt to flee to the Foxwoods casino. “If I had a pretty girl like that on my ahm, I’d be a hell of a lot happier than he is. Hang on sweethaht, we’re not gonna let you out of owah sight!“

As they drive south, Baldwin is hot on their tail. He exclaims, “They’re making a move, heading for the 95!” Hahahaha…I LOVE it when Hollywood actors say “the 95″ or “the 2″ in movies set in Massachusetts.

After the arrest, Baldwin’s naive partner takes a look at Markoff’s lawyer and says, “We got him, he’s got a public defender!” Baldwin knows better and delivers this magnificent monologue: “That right? 2005, guy gets his underage girlfriend pregnant, trying to dodge statutory rape, he and his buddy kill her with a knife and a brick and toss her in the guttah. Cops have DNA, fingerprints, confessions from both, the buddy gets 20 yeeuhs. Ken Braddoff gets Grossman as a lawyer, goes free. He’s walking the streets of Bawston today. Hah, Robert Grossman can make an alibi outta two sticks and a bawl a twine.”

Baldwin really turns up the juice when it comes time to convince Megan that Philip is the true perp. He shows up at the McAllister house in New Jersey for a brutal round of questioning.

“This isn’t about the Bawston Pee Dee. We’re trying to figure out who murdered an innocent young woman. Did you know your boyfriend posted on a sexual fetish website undah the usahname [unfurls piece of paper with disgust] SEXADDICT53885? Took it right off his hahd drive. SEXADDICT53885 was into, and I quote, submission and humiliation –”

Mr. McAllister cuts him off and tells him to stop, but you don’t interrupt Billy Baldwin when he’s declaiming the perverse ways of a Craigslist killer. “ALSO on his list, friendship and experimentation with transsexuals and transvestites!” Megan still won’t believe Philip would have done such a thing. Baldwin drops the hammer: “He’s got a description of himself heah…born February 12, 1986, six foot foah, blonde, athletic…eight inches, cut.“

Boom!! Emmy alert! Mr. McAllister tosses Baldwin out the house but the point is made.

In a final, elegiac scene, Baldwin confronts the Craigslist killer, looking for answers that will never come. “You gonna do this to Megan? I thought you loved hah. It’s gonna be a circus Phil, there’s gonna be pictchas…they’re gonna turn you into a monstah. Phil, talk to me, awright? I mean I, I ahhh I don’t get it. You had everything, a beautiful girl who loved you, a bright fewtcha — you played your cahds right, years from now you’d be a rich doctah having dinner pahties on the Vineyahd with your wife and kids. Right? Living the dream, insteddah rottin in heah. Help me out Phil. I need it to make sense, fah me. Why would you do this? Why would you throw it all away?”

“The Craigslist Killer” is currently in re-runs on the Lifetime Network. If you opt to watch it in HD, beware co-star Agnes Bruckner’s creepy yellow tooth.

We’ve been posting a bunch of great links and videos on the Rumors on the Internets Facebook page.

If you’re not in the posse, or you have soooo many friends that you can’t keep track of all the updates, here’s what you missed over the past few weeks.

This absolutely glorious montage of Nic Cage losing his shit.

“Wonderland Mafia,” a superb blend of Three 6 Mafia and Alice in Wonderland, was created by Lindsay Scoggins. Nils Coq au Vin came up with this gem.

Vladimir Putin hosted a tiger convention at which he praised Leonardo DiCaprio as a “real man.”

A dude in Wisconsin shot up his TV because he was so appalled by the inverse correlation between Bristol Palin’s dance ability and her success on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Wednesday Addams taught us the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

We mourned the passing of Irvin Kershner, director of “The Empire Strikes Back.” His contributions to that film were critical to its success — while George Lucas created groundbreaking special effects, Kershner focused on the acting and the story — two things that I think are kind of important, although Lucas may disagree. By commissioning a new script from Lawrence Kasdan and thoroughly rehearsing the actors, allowing them to develop the characters further, Kershner played a key role in turning “Empire” into a movie masterpiece.

C. Dave sent us over this video of a Cornell professor flying into a rage after a student emits an audible yawn.

We found an amazing package deal on Amazon.com — Call of Duty 4 and a re-usable adult diaper for one low price when purchased together!

This old gem resurfaced on Youtube — the 1986 Celtics in an advertisement for a local Boston restaurant. Don’t get between Robert Parish and a lobster!

Sometimes cat humor is pretty annoying, but this video is a welcome exception. Cats and humans can sometimes combine to form a pretty strong comedy team.

Let’s wind things up with a couple of awesome tunes — one brand new song from Gorillaz, and a classic song from Devo.

If you want a daily fix of ROTI goodness, I highly suggest you join our Facebook page today. Cheerio!

Elections were held in New York City and Boston yesterday, and both cities re-elected their mayors to new terms.

Yet the true results of these elections were as different as the cities themselves.

In Boston, Mayor Tom Menino won a record-setting fifth consecutive term in office, defeating challenger City Councilor Michael Flaherty by 57% to 42%.

In NYC, Mayor Michael Bloomberg won a third term, but by a narrow margin, defeating insurgent William C. Thompson by 51% to 47%.

Boston’s Menino is being called “Mayor for life” this morning, while observers are reacting with shock that New York’s Bloomberg barely got himself back into office, despite high approval ratings and a staggering advantage in campaign cash.

Both men have come a long way from their childhoods in Boston — Bloomberg left town to become one of the richest men in New York City and the successor to Rudy Giuliani, while Menino has never strayed from his enclave of Hyde Park, and slowly, gradually amassed a iron grip over the city of his birth.

Menino cruised where B-berg struggled yesterday because he knew something that the Wall Street billionaire didn’t – In politics, knowing your role and staying in your lane is an unstoppable strategy for maintaining a hold on power.

Tom Menino is an unlikely master politician.

He won the Mayor’s job as an almost anonymous City Councilor in the aftermath of Ray Flynn’s nomination as Ambassador to the Vatican.

Menino isn’t particularly polished. He isn’t a policy wonk. He isn’t a charismatic figure or an imposing tough guy.

He’s also a fairly horrible public speaker, a trait that has earned him the nickname “Mumbles”:

Through four terms in office, Menino has had his share of shortfalls.

A complete lack of transparency — obstruction of transparency, even — created a scandal that engulfed Menino’s top lieutenant, Michael Kineavy. In violation of the law, Kineavy routinely deleted emails that may have implicated the Mayor’s office in political corruption probes surrounding the City Council.

The city’s education system is troubled, an issue that has dogged Menino throughout the past few elections.

The mismanagement of the Boston Redevelopment Authority has led to large-scale debacles such as the giant hole in the ground at Downtown Crossing:

Challenger Michael Flaherty harped on all these topics and more, and even engaged the active support of the #3 contender, City Councilor Sam Yoon, to form a combination platter that local pundits dubbed “Floon.”

In the end, though, it mattered little, as Menino rallied his winning coalition and cruised to victory for the fifth straight time.

As a compelling Boston Globe piece demonstrates, Mayor Menino achieved this success by dogged determination, unflagging hard work, and a unique knowledge of — and connection to — the city voters who have returned him to office time and again:

On their own, they are petty encounters: A couple of “friends’’ of Michael F. Flaherty were admonished by city workers to get off his Facebook page; a state aide got advice from a city official that led to a parking ticket being dismissed; a Sam Yoon campaign office was cited by city inspectors for having too many window signs.

But taken together, these seemingly inconsequential incidents offer a rare window into the workings of Thomas M. Menino’s City Hall, a place where not even the most trivial slights go unnoticed and the smallest opportunities unnourished.

If Menino is the urban mechanic who famously knows every neighborhood in his city, and is regularly seen in them all, it is his sprawling machine that knows every building on every block, and has a reach into nearly every one.

Menino has assembled the most extensive political operation in modern Boston history over his 16 years in office, rivaling that of legendary mayor James Michael Curley. He’s done it the old-fashioned way, by blurring the lines between politics and policy, between city work and campaign work, delivering services to everyday residents and warnings to his rare foes – many of them intended to strengthen his electoral standing.

“You have to give Tom Menino credit,’’ said City Councilor Charles C. Yancey, a 25-year council veteran who has not endorsed in the mayor’s race. “He really has mastered the nuts and bolts of politics in Boston.’’

The focal point of Menino’s operation is dozens, even hundreds, of city workers who make the mayor’s political cause their own. By day, they perform constituent services, enforce city codes, issue parking tickets, and tow cars. By night, they volunteer their time for the mayor, attending community meetings or campaigning on his behalf.

Take the case of Jack Kelly, the city’s neighborhood liaison in Charlestown, who sent a friend an e-mail, according to documents obtained by the Globe, asking that he remove himself from Flaherty’s Facebook group.

“If he gets elected I lose my job,’’ Kelly said in the first message. When the friend didn’t immediately remove himself, Kelly followed up with another saying, “You’re killing me.’’

Or take the case of Michael J. Kineavy, the former iron worker who now holds the title of Boston’s chief of policy and planning, but is better known as Menino’s most trusted political adviser and most effective enforcer.

Kineavy was able to rattle off, in an interview, the number of people – 14 – who attended a fund-raiser for Flaherty’s mayoral campaign. How did he know?

“There was a guy in the room that was ours,’’ Kineavy said. “What’s wrong with that? It’s recon. That’s not even negative. It’s knowing what your enemy’s doing.’’

A Boston Globe Poll showed that 57 percent of Bostonians have personally met Mayor Menino, a statistic that no doubt contributes heavily to his success in bringing voters back to the polls again and again.

In an interview this morning on WBUR, local political pundit Larry DiCara noted that the key to Menino’s success is a tried-and-true coalition of voters that have carried him to victory in each election: city workers, African-Americans, Italians and liberals.

Like other candidates before him, Michael Flaherty tried and failed to unseat Menino and strip away a bloc or two from his winning coalition.

Tom Menino doesn’t seem, at first glance, to be a particularly impressive politician.

Yet he has succeeded in obtaining an unprecedented fifth term in office as Mayor of Boston because he has built an unstoppable political machine that exists for one reason alone: to run and control the city of Boston.

Many politicians run for each office with another, higher office in mind. Major figures on both the right and left have won major elective office, only to leverage that position to obtain a better one. We need only look to 2008, when Senator Obama left Washington to run for President after only a year or so, while Governor Mitt Romney stumped down South, dissing his Massachusetts constituents for political props.

Mayor Menino never fell victim to the narcissism that leads so many politicians into the throes of the Peter Principle, obtaining that promotion that’s just elite enough to get them in over their heads. He’s a man of Boston, always has been, and it’s now clear that nobody will be able to force him to relinquish his hold over the city until he himself decides it’s time to go.

Brian Mooney provides a fitting recap:

When he was sworn in as acting mayor more than 16 years ago, no one, not even Menino, could have imagined that he would one day become the virtual mayor for life.

How did he do it?

For more than 16 years, Menino’s City Hall has paid attention to the details – zoning, liquor licensing, and congestion – that affect the quality of life where residents do much of their shopping and socializing.

If Menino has a particular genius, it is that he understands Bostonians want to feel good about their neighborhood. That means visible police, antique street lights, and spruced-up business districts. From Brighton Square to Fields Corner, from Roslindale Village to Grove Hall in Roxbury, commercial districts have better stores and more restaurants and improved sidewalks and traffic controls.

He showed up, which matters a lot in politics. From the day he took office, Menino spent most days on the move, in every neighborhood of the city, meeting his constituents and hearing their hopes and complaints. Like Schaefer in Baltimore, he often took action which produced results that were tangible.

His administration devoted disproportionately large shares of discretionary funds to projects in Roxbury, the long-neglected heart of the city’s African-American community.

On matters of race, gay rights, and other social issues, Menino has been consistently progressive. Hizzoner’s Daley-like political machine tightened his grip on power, but even at its most efficient, a great field organization is worth only a few percentage points in the final vote tally. Menino, however, has sturdy political infrastructure in virtually all 254 precincts. His army on the ground is of every hue and generation, and many are City Hall’s eyes in their neighborhoods.

On Menino’s watch, the city has not suffered the financial crises and social upheavals of previous administrations. Crime and public education, always major issues in big cities, have been managed under Menino.

No one has found the silver bullet to solve the problems of urban school systems, and Menino is no exception. But with much work yet to be done on the schools, many voters seem to have given him a pass on an issue on which he once urged voters to judge him harshly.

Like Tom Menino, Mike Bloomberg was expected to win a new term in office, and he managed to do so. However, it was a victory that required changes in city law, not to mention a vast infusion of the Mayor’s personal wealth.

Bloomberg, a multi-billionaire Wall Street executive, whose visionary company Bloomberg LLP changed the way that bankers consume news, first won office in a tightly contested election against Democrat Mark Green.

After a highly successful first term, he captured reelection by 20% over Democrat Fernando Ferrer — a record for a Republican incumbent in New York City.

From the outset, Bloomberg’s management style was modeled on the one that served him well in the private sector:

Mayor-elect Michael R. Bloomberg said yesterday that he would create a large, open office in the heart of City Hall — modeled after the one that he used to manage his private company, Bloomberg L.P. — from where and he and his top deputies would run the city. Mr. Bloomberg said he would relegate the mayor’s formal corner office to mainly ceremonial purposes.

The decision by Mr. Bloomberg, which he disclosed at a news conference yesterday called to announce the appointment of the United Nations Development Corporation president, suggests a major shift in the way City Hall is going to be run after Mr. Bloomberg takes over next Tuesday from his fellow Republican, Rudolph W. Giuliani. And it marks the clearest example to date of the extent to which Mr. Bloomberg intends to apply practices that he employed in the private sector to his first job in government.

”I will be working surrounded by the deputy mayors and main advisers,” Mr. Bloomberg said. He added: ”I mean, keep in mind there are physical constraints on what you can do at City Hall. But to the extent that that is possible — all my life I’ve worked in the middle, and I plan to do exactly that.”

The Park Avenue headquarters of Mr. Bloomberg’s company is a large sprawling floor of desks and computer monitors, without walls or dividers. His desk is set in a corner, visible and easily accessible to employees. Mr. Bloomberg said that the design of that office was intended to encourage employees, regardless of rank or stature, to approach him with ideas and questions. The open configuration has become a symbol of Mr. Bloomberg’s management style in the corporate world.

Bloomberg’s pragmatic approach and private-sector angle on government seemed to be serving him extremely well as recently as a year ago.

This led Bloomberg into an extended flirtation with the idea of seeking the Presidency as an independent candidate, potentially considering spending $1 billion of his wealth on the effort:

One day last July, Al From received an unexpected call from Michael Steinhardt. From is the founder and CEO of the Democratic Leadership Council, the centrist outfit in Washington that helped propel Bill Clinton into the White House; Steinhardt is the once-hellacious hedge-fund manager turned philanthropist whose name now graces the School of Education at NYU, a former chairman of the DLC, and a friend for decades of Mayor Michael Bloomberg. When From picked up the phone, Steinhardt greeted him thus: “How’d you like to come to New York and have dinner with the next president of the United States?”

From replied, teasingly, “I didn’t realize you’re so friendly with Hillary Clinton.”

The genesis of Steinhardt’s call was a conversation with New York City schools chancellor Joel Klein. Klein said that “Bloomberg was preoccupied—no, that’s too strong a word—that he was really focused on whether he should run for president,” Steinhardt recalls. Steinhardt reminded Klein of his association with the DLC and told him that if Bloomberg wanted to meet From “to get some perspective about the realities of running for national office,” he would happily arrange it. Fifteen minutes later, Klein called back and said that Bloomberg certainly did.

[...]

Steinhardt left the dinner buzzing and spent weeks talking up the prospect of Bloomberg 2008 at various dinner parties. From returned to Washington dubious about Bloomberg’s presidential prospects, yet firm in one conclusion. “They’re serious about it,” he tells me. “I don’t necessarily think that they’re going to do it, but they clearly want to be ready if the opportunity is there.”

Until last week, when the furor over the Queens police shooting erupted, Michael Bloomberg, 64, was having a nearly perfect year. His approval numbers, which in 2003 fell to 24 percent, had been above 70 percent since January. By taking visible and voluble positions on issues from guns to immigration to stem-cell research, he’d started to carve out a national profile…

From Bloomberg’s City Hall coterie comes a consistent refrain: that their boss has emerged as more than a competent, steady, managerial steward; that he is, in the words of Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff, “a great, visionary mayor.” This sentiment is echoed, not surprisingly, by his friends. “There’s just no question,” says the investor Steve Rattner, “that he is the greatest mayor of New York since Fiorella La Guardia.”

Fast-forward to 2009. Bloomberg wisely chose to avoid a Presidential run, which would have led to his trampling by the Obama juggernaut. Returning his focus to NYC, he presided over a colossal Wall Street crash and an increasingly disillusioned electorate.

Bloomberg persuaded the City Council to change the law to allow him to seek a third term; New York City voters have twice rejected appeals to change this law in the past.

In the run-up to the election, Bloomberg’s campaign team warned him that the metrics had turned against him. Re-election, once seemingly inevitable, would be a brutal slog uphill.

A terrific piece in the New York Times today gives us the rundown:

In the days after the mayor had emerged, victorious, but badly bruised, from his fight to rewrite the city’s term limits law, Mr. Bloomberg and his three top deputies, Edward Skyler, Patricia E. Harris and Kevin Sheekey, gathered in the Staten Island room in City Hall and began to plot his campaign.

They warned him that it would be entirely different from his campaigns in 2001 and 2005. “This will be really hard,” one participant said.

Mr. Sheekey, the mayor’s political guru, urged him to quickly send a warning to potential challengers. He suggested recruiting a high-profile attack dog for the campaign and disclosing it to the press. The choice was obvious: Howard Wolfson, the combative former communications director for Hillary Rodham Clinton’s presidential run…

Mr. Sheekey pushed what he called the Powell Doctrine — a burst of overwhelming force that would discourage anybody who was even thinking about taking on the mayor.

This strategy succeeded in pushing Rep. Anthony Weiner from the race, a victory that in retrospect seems absolutely crucial.

Bloomberg’s ultimate opponent, Comptroller Bill Thompson Jr., ran a lackluster and inept campaign, surprising the Mayor’s reelection team with its almost complete inability to grab the attention of the local media:

The only obstacle remaining was Mr. Thompson. At Thompson campaign headquarters near Union Square, Mr. Bloomberg’s display of political might over the summer — he had spent $37 million by July 11 — was having its desired effect. By August, Mr. Thompson’s advertising team had stopped trying to track the mayor’s television and radio spending, standard practice in a campaign, telling colleagues it was too depressing. Anne Fenton, Mr. Thompson’s press secretary, told friends that she was intimidated by Mr. Wolfson.

At times, the Bloomberg campaign, waging what they proudly saw as a presidential-level operation, seemed puzzled by the poorly financed, sometimes loosely disciplined Thompson effort. The candidate’s daily schedule was curiously light, and easy opportunities to score political points were neglected.

Midway into the campaign, Mr. Thompson scheduled a publicity tour through a foreclosure-battered section of Queens, , setting off fears among Bloomberg advisers that the next day’s papers would be filled with articles suggesting that Mr. Bloomberg had neglected New York City’s neediest.

Team Bloomberg swung into action, dispatching a group of researchers to dig up Mr. Thompson’s ties to what they called an “anti-union developer” and $400,000 in campaign donations from real estate companies. They tapped out a 2,000-word e-mail message to the news media, titled “Thompson’s Rhetoric on Affordable Housing Doesn’t Match His Record” and prepared to hit the send button.

But to their astonishment, the Thompson campaign attracted almost no press to the event. The e-mail message never went out.

Despite the lack of a compelling alternative, some New Yorkers felt strongly that a “not-Bloomberg” vote was the way to go.

An epic rant by Gawker’s Alex Pareene is difficult to excerpt, because it hammers virtually every gripe that the city’s residents have with Bloomberg. Here are some of the highlights:

Tomorrow is Election Day! You will probably not vote, because there are no contested races for anything important in 90% of the nation. But if you are a New Yorker, we have one message: don’t vote for Michael Bloomberg.

You know those idiots who don’t know anything about politics but think it sounds smart to say “I am a social liberal and an economic conservative?” Bloomberg is the candidate for them, if they love a liberal nanny state and a conservative religious fervor for the eternal goodness of private enterprise.

For all the talk of Bloomberg the power-player who at least gets things done without worrying about the unions and special interests, he’s been unable to win any political battle with anyone he couldn’t literally buy off. Like Sheldon Silver, who (thankfully) killed the West Side Stadium and (annoyingly) ended all that “Congestion Pricing” talk. And those unions and special interests were just bought off, which worked fine back when the boom whose end Bloomberg never saw coming was in full swing.

And about that stadium: what the fuck was that? And the Olympics thing? After bitching about Giuliani’s disgraceful subsidizing of the fucking Yankees, Bloomberg both turns around completely on that particular issue and attempts to build the fucking Jets a stadium, so that New York could get an Olympics that it did not want. And that failed, and everyone forgot about it. Meanwhile: 40,000 people in shelters! Bloomberg could personally buy every single one of those people an apartment in a vacant Williamsburg luxury condo building and still have enough left over to bribe a City Council member into supporting his fifth term.

[...]

His record on housing, like his record on nearly everything having to do with the outer boroughs and poverty and human beings who make less than $100,000 a year, has been a ridiculous disgrace. His entire philosophy of development solving everything turned out to be precisely, 100% wrong, and suddenly the city itself was driving the real estate boom, driving up land prices to absurd levels across the boroughs and tearing down neighborhoods only to replace them with vacant lots and half-filled cheaply built hideous high-rises once the bottom fell out of the City Hall-inflated market. But hey, we got the High Line and 311! So you can sleep in that fancy park while you call 311 asking if there is room in a shelter because you can no longer afford your home.

Eight years into the Bloomberg administration, Ground Zero is a still a hole that everyone continues fighting about.

[...]

What he has done is Keep Us Safe by never once giving a shit about Civil Liberties. The cops stop and frisk thousands more people every year, your 4th Amendment rights do not apply in the Subway system, and expensive and completely ineffective new rings of cameras are going up across Manhattan.

Bloomberg deserves to be run out of town on an inadequately funded public rail line for the 2004 GOP convention alone. Remember that ridiculous farce? No, of course not, no one does, besides the thousands of people improperly spied on, arrested, harassed, and detained by the NYPD. All of this was completely illegal. No heads rolled.

One more special bonus factoid: New York leads the world in marijuana arrests! Specifically, marijuana arrests of black people!

And he is personally a jerk. He is a thin-skinned, unpleasant, sanctimonious asshole. His company is being sued for a culture of sexual discrimination that plaintiffs say Bloomberg himself contributed to. He is a tremendous dick to reporters whenever he gets cranky. He is fucking race-baiting with Rudy Giuliani again, because why not?

He has been a shitty mayor and he does not deserve the support of anyone who claims to be a liberal. Though what all of his most destructive missteps as mayor have in common is that they do not in any way upset or inconvenience the well-off self-professed liberals who support him. Besides maybe a couple Critical Mass riders arrested in illegal sweeps. (Though he sure does like bike lanes, so it’s a wash, right?)

We cannot encourage you to vote for the Democrat in the race, because even we still aren’t sure if we’ll go for him or the much more delightful Billy Talen. Just don’t fucking vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Despite all this, Bloomberg won a third term — in a squeaker.

Why?

His unlimited campaign funds couldn’t hurt: the mayor spent $157.27 per vote, as compared to Thompson’s $13.12.

His opposition was pretty pathetic, and he managed to keep Barack Obama from endorsing Thompson – a critical power play that probably saved his ass.

At the end of the day, Bloomberg retains a 70% approval rating; and yet a quarter of those who supported Bloomberg’s performance voted against him regardless.

Nevertheless, you don’t get bonus points for winning an election by a landslide – it’s winner-take-all in the USA, and Mike Bloomberg won.

Now, it’s very difficult to draw parallels between a city with 8 million residents and a city with 600,000 residents.

New York’s mayor rules over Manhattan and all the diverse outer boroughs, with all the complexity that entails. Boston’s mayor need not worry about nearby urban centers like Cambridge, Somerville and Quincy — he’s the lord of a relatively small fiefdom.

Still, on the day after election day, it’s interesting to observe the asymmetries between Boston’s “Mayor for Life” and the once-unstoppable NYC mayor who has to be wiping the sweat from his brow as he reflects on the narrow margin by which he won yesterday.

Bloomberg’s presidential dreams seem, in retrospect, to contain the seeds of his near-downfall: the hubris, ambition, and self-absorption that turned many New Yorkers against him on election day were all wrapped up in that lengthy flirtation with higher office.

Moreover, though, if Bloomberg wants to be the Richard Daley of New York City, he’ll need to develop the kind of organization that Menino has — on a larger scale, of course — and get his tentacles into every aspect of the city. Bloomberg will have to decide that his ambitions do not exceed the mayorship of NYC, and focus on maintaining and extending his power. There’s no doubt that a stronger opponent than Thompson would have cleaned his clock. Until Bloomberg has more than money on his side, he’ll remain extremely vulnerable, especially with the city in a weakened economic state.

When the voters feel that you’re on their side, that they know you and you know them — you can maintain power essentially forever.

As The Awl’s Choire points out this morning, that isn’t the case with Michael Bloomberg and many New Yorkers:

What people were voting against, in one way or another, was about being left behind. It was about financial inequity. What every New Yorker knows is that the City ran amok with the cost of housing, while home prices increased 77% between 2002 and 2007, and while, in 2007, the median household income in New York City was still only $48,631. The skew of the top 1% of earners very nearly did the City in—before the top 1% did itself in.

Bloomberg’s biggest problem with voters, and the reason that he actually very nearly lost yesterday, to a man who could barely run a campaign, is that people believe that the rich side with the rich—and yes, even when the rich also sponsor massive charitable giving. The Bloomberg bad bargaining policies of million-dollar real estate kickbacks for corporate real estate, and the administration’s failure to reach its goals in affordable housing, rankle with the middle class for a reason: these policies create larger inequity each year.

And now, we believe that the goals of the Bloomberg third term are to restore the City to the planned outcome of his first term, before the crash—a place of ever-growing division between rich and poor. His outrageous $100-million-plus campaign only served to reinforce the impression regarding who he really represents.

It’s up to Bloomberg to convince New Yorkers differently between now and 2012.

Sometimes these tips don’t quite manifest themselves into full articles, so we’ll be roundin’ up these dogies into super-posts on occasion…

MR. RICHARD SCHMOKER, GENEROSITY BONER

The intrepid and invaluable C. Dave sent along this amusing tale about a Midwestern literacy patron with a gigglesome name…

LINCOLN — A gift from a Minnesota couple will help take a five-year-old reading clinic at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln to the next level.

The UNL clinic — which began operating in 2004 to help youngsters who struggle with reading — has been named the Kit and Dick Schmoker Reading Center in honor of the donors, who gave $1 million to create an endowment to help support the program.

Catherine “Kit” Schmoker, a graduate of the former Teachers College at UNL, is a member of a Lincoln banking family that owned the former National Bank of Commerce.

She and her husband, Dick, a retired attorney, live in Edina, Minn.

They were in Lincoln Thursday to attend the dedication of the newly named center.

UNL officials say the facility is unique in the region. Its primary purpose is to teach teachers how to work with struggling readers. It also works directly with youngsters who have reading difficulties, providing tutoring services to students in kindergarten through 12th grade, mostly from the Lincoln area.

“The Kit and Dick Schmoker Reading Center is making a significant difference in the lives of hundreds of children and student teachers,” said Marjorie Kostelnik, dean of the UNL College of Education and Human Sciences, which was formed in 2003 when the Teachers College and the College of Human Resources and Family Sciences were merged.

“Children will have many more successful school days as a result of their time in the center, and our college students will develop many more skills to help Nebraska’s children become proficient readers.”

From a quick glance at the Center’s website, it appears that they might want to bring their online developers in for an intensive literacy session as well:

I tried my hardest to find a picture of the Schmokers, especially Dick, but came up empty.

However, I did find this gem of a search suggestion along the way.

BILLERICA BODYBUILDERS BUSTED in BRIGHTON

New tipster alert! Expert on all things indicative of Boston, J-MART has broken into the ranks of ROTI with this great item from the Boston Police blog:

On Saturday, September 19, 2009, at approximately 11:40pm, a Boston Police Officer assigned to Area D-14 (Brighton), was traveling on Washington Street when he observed two males drinking beer while walking down the street. One of the individuals finished his beer and threw it to the ground. Both parties then stepped onto the roadway and attempted to cross. This forced traffic to come to an abrupt stop and one of the individuals was almost struck. One of the males then punched the rear of the vehicle as he walked by.

The officer then exited his vehicle and identified himself as a police officer. Both parties became belligerent towards the officer and taunted him to arrest them. The officer placed one of the parties into custody and called for additional officers to respond in order to assist him. Upon arrival of additional officers, they were instructed to place the second party into custody. At this time, he was standing approximately twenty-five feet away and continued to yell obscenities at the officers.

The second suspect fled when the officers approached him. He ran a short distance before stopping and facing the oncoming officers. The suspect then took a body building stance and flexed his muscles at the officers. The officers were not deterred and placed the suspect into custody. It was discovered that both parties were under the legal drinking age of twenty-one.

Officers arrested Michael Downing, 20, of Billerica and Ryan Winter, 19, of Billerica on the charges of Drinking Alcohol in Public and Person Under Twenty-One in Possession of Alcohol.

Brazenly drinking in public while talking smack to cops is inadvisable no matter what age you are, but when you’re underage it’s just…naah, it’s equally stupid whether you’re 18 or 81.

J-MART commented, “I love BPD News – especially in the fall!” Amen, yo. College students be bonafide fools.

SWEDISH HEISTS ARE THE BEST HEISTS

When it comes to all things funny and awesome in and around Sweden, our man SecretM is all over that shiznit.

He sent along this choice item about a daring heist in Stockholm, aided by a helicopter and an ingenious tactic to forestall police pursuit:

Robbers used a helicopter Wednesday in a spectacular raid of a cash depot in Stockholm, breaking into the building through the roof and flying off with bags of cash, police and witnesses said.

The pre-dawn heist stunned police in the Swedish capital, who were unable to deploy their own helicopters to the scene because of suspected explosives placed at their hangar.

Shortly after 5 a.m., the robbers jumped onto the roof of the cash depot belonging to security firm G4S and smashed a window to enter the building, police spokeswoman Ulrika Lonngren told broadcaster SVT. There were staff inside the building, but no one was injured.

Witnesses reported hearing loud bangs during the heist, but it wasn’t immediately clear whether any explosives had been used.

Police were not sure if the thieves managed to steal any money, “but we have reports that witnesses saw them loading objects into the helicopter,” police spokeswoman Towe Hagg told The Associated Press.

Witness Bjorn Lockstrom told broadcaster TV4 he saw a gray helicopter hovering above the building for about 15 minutes. “Two men hoisted themselves down,” he said. “I saw when they hoisted up money, too.”

Police later found an abandoned helicopter near a lake north of Stockholm. Hagg said the chopper was reported stolen and was believed to be the one used by the robbers.

It turns out that dramatic theivery is becoming something of a tradition in Sweden:

Sweden has seen a series of spectacular robberies in recent years. Last year a group of men broke into a mail processing center in Goteborg, paralyzing large parts of Sweden’s second-largest city after spreading out spikes, burning out cars in several different areas and leaving suspected explosive devices in the center.

In 2006, Goteborg’s international airport was partially closed after a group of masked men crashed through a gate and held up luggage handlers as they were unloading crates of foreign currency worth 7.8 million kronor ($1.1 million) from a passenger aircraft.

Four years earlier, robbers pulled off a similar heist at Stockholm’s Arlanda Airport, when staff were loading foreign currency worth 43 million kronor onto an aircraft.

Damnnnnn. Are we SURE DeNiro died at the end of Heat?

Ever wondered what the flavor of Boston would be?

I’m guessing two parts swamp water from the old Mill Pond, ample splash of Old Mr. Boston Colonialist Oppressor Gin, heaping spoonful of bitters and season to taste with Mayor Tom Menino flop sweat.

Well, Absolut Vodka begs to differ…

This past Wednesday, Absolut Vodka unveiled its newest flavor- Absolut Boston. That’s right, folks, we have our very own vodka flavor, and before you ask, no it doesn’t taste like the Charles. Absolut has decided that black tea and elderflower are the essence of Boston infused in vodka…

Mmkay…black tea and elderflower, eh? I guess it’s a shoutout to the good old Tea Party, but it just seems a little too joyous a blend to represent.

Cool bottle, though:

There should at least be a little bit of Boston Harbor detritus floating around in there, for realism’s sake. Am I right??

Turns out this is the third of a series:

Two years ago Absolut launched a “Cities” campaign with flavored vodka meant to evoke the Big Easy of New Orleans. Last year, the taste turned to Los Angeles.

Last week, Absolut Boston made its limited-edition launch. The vodka is flavored with black tea and elderflower. You can be amused by the ironic flavor (tea-Boston Tea Party); but more interesting is the bottle design which incorporates Fenway Park’s Green Monster, the left field wall…

[...]

As part of the charitable side, Absolut created a Wall of Pride, a free-standing wall that honors the spirit of Bostonians and their city. It stands by the Prudential Center around 800 Boylston St. Musings from Jim Rice, Carlton Fisk, the Drop Kick Murphys, Amy Poehler, Johnny Pesky, Doug Flutie, Steve Nelson, Troy Brown, Gino Cappelletti, Cam Neely and others recollect their favorite Boston moment in their own handwriting on individual green walls. Sports championships are the most mentioned ones.

SHOCKAH! I doubt anyone is surprised that this is the case in a city for which fanatical sports devotion has eclipsed all other cultural pursuits.

Jesus, what a sorry crew the Absolut folks has assembled to represent the Hub of the Universe. Hell, half these folks aren’t even from around here, they just played for our sports teams.

Nevertheless, you can bid on these plaques at auction…

Oh boy, the chance to own a piece of crap signed by our very own shite Olympian, Alycia Sacramone?!! I’m overjoyed.

Yo Winchester, you left the part out about how you bit it multiple times in the Olympics and cost America’s sweethearts Shawn John and Nastia the team gold medal!!

That was memorable as hell, in fact that’s what I will think of every time your name is mentioned. Forever.

That’s my unforgettable Boston memory, you as a weight around the neck of America’s finest flowering of feminine athletic grace, dragging them down to “first loser.”

Appalling. Who’s next?

UGH. Do I hate anyone more than this Ben Mezrich guy right now? Probably not.

Hey everybody, I’m Ben Mezrich here on the right,
I’m a huge tool and I like to make up fictional stories and call them non-fiction…
then when called on it, I compare myself to Michael Lewis.

Of course, his unforgettable memory is all about HIM and the lame-ass movie based on one of his stupid-ass books. Die, Mezrich.

It actually gets worse.

Here’s the plaque that almost sent me into the streets in a blind, homicidal rage.

It has always annoyed the shit out of me that the cheese-bro G. Love and Special Sauce has so loudly and repeatedly announced that THEY’RE FROM PHILLY.

Although it really chaps my ass to  fight over the regional identity of a crap band, I am nothing if not endlessly dedicated to the pursuit of factual truth. As the plaque above makes clear, this band actually formed in the Boston area and honed its chops in Cambridge.

Last time I checked, that’s a long goddamned way from Philly.

So after WFNX played their (interesting and decent) first album, they decided to fly the Philly flag and eventually found themselves opening for Jack Johnson, a bullet train to lame town.

So it’s bad enough that THIS is what we are left with to represent our city’s musical culture — not the late brilliant genius Mark Sandman of Morphine, but a bunch of his cheesy coattail riders, who pretend they didn’t even form here, then reverse themselves while fiendishly name-dropping the great man for some jollies and a case of elderberry vodka?

Fuck you, G. Love! And you too, Special Sauce!! I have half a mind to buy your plaque just to take a dump on it.

THANK GOD Amy Poehler participated in this project, so it wasn’t a complete and total infuriation.

YES.

This is what Boston is really all about…not some cliched paean to athletic glory penned by a dude from California or Florida, not a whimsy from the mind of a crap pop author, or worse, lame giggin’ tales from a horrendous musician.

It’s a provincial tidbit fermented in years of banality, delivered with ironic wit. Either you get this, or you don’t.

That’s Boston, my friends.

This is a classic that I’ve only seen before on an old VHS tape owned by the guys at Worst Party Productions.

Joyously, someone has placed some highlights from this gem on the web, and Dlisted linked to it a few minutes ago.

Now you know where the inspiration for some of the hilarious characterizations in Quantum Boggs and Hott Car Tips comes from.

It’s all the fault of their incompetent co-chairman, Ben Silverman.

While formerly-solid series like “Heroes” circle the drain and new efforts like “Kath and Kim” outright suck, Silverman has adeptly managed to keep his job with corporate-politics tactics like throwing subordinates under the bus.

Witness this Page Six account where he blames all the network’s problems on someone else:

NBC Entertainment co-chair Ben Silverman isn’t going to get all the blame for the network’s lackluster fall schedule.

With yesterday’s cancellation of two NBC shows produced by sister company Universal – “Lipstick Jungle,” which starred Brooke Shields, and “My Own Worst Enemy,” which featured Christian Slater -culpability falls on Universal Media Studio President Katherine Pope, who oversaw both doomed series.

Pope, an original producer on “Heroes,” was promoted to the top studio job because of the success of that NBC show.

Almost one year later, with ratings for “Heroes” slipping, she isn’t working out the way NBC planned. Top network brass is now overseeing production of the series in an attempt to save it.

“They call her the black widow. Every program she touches turns to death,” growled our source. “She is on very thin ice.” Pope also produced flash-in-the-pan series “Bionic Woman.”

Another network insider told Page Six, “There are internal concerns that she took her eye off the ball.” A rep for Pope at Universal had no comment.

Of course, none of NBC’s other new shows – “Knight Rider,” “Kath & Kim” and “Crusoe” – has become a hit, either. But Silverman, 37, has been able to cut costs at the network and seems to be satisfying his bosses, particularly NBC chairman Jeff Zucker.

In fact, one network insider actually praised Silverman, saying, “The company is very happy with Ben. He is deep in negotiations to re-up his contract with NBC, and he has the network up 50 percent profit from year to year.”

TV analysts say ratings have become less important as the viewing audience has scattered to proliferating cable channels. Silverman told The Post last summer: “We’re managing for margins and not for ratings.”

Whatever he is managing for, the result is terrible television.

Silverman:  Carving up freshies while the network burns

In his latest genius move, NBC decided to jettison FIVE ENTIRE HOURS of scripted programming each week in favor of a Jay Leno nightly show at 10 pm.

Unable to come up with television shows that anyone wanted to watch, and hemmed in by their rash decision to promise Jay’s timeslot to Conan, Silverman and friends were all, “what the hell, how about MORE late night television…even earlier!”

Leno eagerly agreed, and is now going around claiming that 10 o’clock is the new 11:30:

“More people — and younger people — are going to bed at 11 o’clock because they carpool or they have to get up at 6.”

He totally made that up, BTW.

Silverman loves this plan, since it relieves him of 1/4 of his responsibility to fill the network’s schedule, and Leno loves it, because he doesn’t have to look for a new job.

Unfortunately, everyone else hates this plan because Jay Leno is lame, killing off scripted programming in favor of a pseudo-late-night show is weak, and quite frankly, the affiliates can do a lot better on their own, thank you very much.

Even Conan is pissed:

“I don’t think any of us were expecting a Monday through Friday thing for Jay like that. And there was a period where everybody was just trying to figure out: what does this mean? After about an hour and a half I just started asking if I was still going to be getting the ‘Tonight Show With Johnny Carson’ that I used to watch with my father in my living room in Brookline, Massachusetts.”

The stage was set for some fireworks, and now the first shoe has dropped.

Boston’s WHDH extended a giant middle finger to NBC yesterday, telling them “Leno? Hell no.”

WHDH-TV Channel 7, Boston’s NBC affiliate, is refusing to air Jay Leno’s new talk show in the lucrative 10 p.m. hour in favor of its own hourlong local news show, and NBC doesn’t like it one bit.

“WHDH’s move is a flagrant violation of the terms of their contract with NBC,” said John Eck, president of NBC Television Network. “If they persist, we will strip WHDH of its NBC affiliation. We have a number of other strong options in the Boston market, including using our existing broadcast license to launch an NBC-owned and operated station.”

The decision to program local news instead of Leno, the longtime host of “The Tonight Show” who grew up in Andover, follows the runaway success of the 10 p.m. newscast on rival WFXT-TV Channel 25, Boston’s Fox outlet. WFXT’s newscast averaged 210,600 total viewers in the March ratings sweeps, while the 10 p.m. newscast on WHDH sister station WLVI-TV Channel 56 drew 43,800 total viewers. On some nights, WFXT’s newscast beats network shows in the city, with help from lead-ins such as “American Idol” and “House.”

Leno’s show is scheduled to launch in September.

Ed Ansin, owner of WHDH and WLVI, believes a local newscast at 10 p.m., which he plans to simulcast on both stations, will draw better ratings than Leno.

“We feel we have a real opportunity with running the news at 10 p.m. We don’t think the Leno show is going to be effective in prime time,” Ansin said yesterday. “It will be detrimental to our 11 o’clock [newscast]. It will be very adverse to our finances.”

Ansin wants to air Leno’s show at 11 p.m., but he said NBC told him that “would not be feasible.” For now, Ansin doesn’t plan to air Leno at all, instead airing a local news show at 10 p.m., following it with the current news half-hour broadcast at 11, and Conan O’Brien’s show at 11:35 p.m. when it begins this summer.

“There are a lot more viewers available at 10 o’clock,” added Ansin who also owns Miami’s WSVN-TV, a Fox affiliate that reaps strong ratings and revenue with its 10 p.m. newscast. Said Ansin, “It fundamentally is a better financial plan for us.” Of WHDH, he added, “We are already suffering from weak lead-ins.”

After dominating the lucrative 11 p.m. news race for more than a decade with its flashy graphics and focus on sports news, WHDH has seen its 11 p.m. newscast plummet to third place in the ratings in the last year, behind WBZ-TV Channel 4 and WCVB-TV Channel 5. The station laid off its executive news producer and two anchors, including longtime newsman Randy Price, who was replaced by Kim Khazei. The station recently unveiled its late night anchor team of Khazei and Frances Rivera – the only female duo on a Boston anchor desk. Channel 7 also redesigned its news desk and revamped its graphics to broadcast in high-definition.

Industry officials have noted that having Leno at 10 p.m. would cost a fraction of what a network might pay for a scripted series in that hour. The refusal to air Leno in prime time in the country’s seventh-largest market could cost NBC much-needed ratings. The network has been in a ratings slump in recent years.

NBC officials are hopeful about Leno’s arrival in prime time. His show will be similar to “The Tonight Show,” which is a late-night ratings leader.

“The NBC affiliates are very excited about the new Leno show weeknights at 10 p.m.,” Michael Fiorile, NBC affiliate board chairman, said yesterday in a statement to the Globe. “Jay is a true star with enormous appeal.”

Ansin said his contract with NBC differs from those of affiliates that are owned and operated by the network.

“We have the option of not airing Leno at 10 o’clock.”

Now, we think Ed Ansin is a douche who ruined a formerly-solid WHDH newscast and replaced it with ludicrous “NEWS HAPPENS FAST!!” exploitative, hyperventilating yellow journalism.

But it seems like he is on to something here. The Leno show is a real loser for a lot of the affiliates, and a symptom of NBC’s complete lack of programming creativity.

This could be the first of several struggles as affiliates fight back against late-night-show creep.

Variety reports that the natives are restless…

The first great NBC-affiliate battle over the new primetime Jay Leno show is poised to take place in Boston — the host’s hometown.

WHDH-TV, Boston’s Peacock affiliate, announced via its website Thursday that it plans to launch an hour-long 10 p.m. newscast in the fall.

That would pre-empt Leno’s new, still-untitled 10 p.m. series. NBC swiftly responded, warning WHDH that such a move would make them in breach of their pact with the net — and that the Peacock wouldn’t hesitate to yank the station’s affiliation.

[...]

Insiders said NBC is already looking at contingencies in Boston should WHDH go ahead with its plans — including turning its Telemundo station in the market, WNEU (Channel 60), into an NBC outlet.

[...]Ansin told the paper that WHDH had asked for permission to push Leno to 11 p.m., but the network said no. Instead, he has no plans to run Leno at all, and will continue to air an 11 p.m. newscast leading into “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” at 11:35.

Ansin also claimed that WHDH held a clause in its affiliation contract that would allow the station to dump the 10 p.m. Leno show — an assertion that NBC also vehemently denied.

“That is absolutely wrong,” said NBC general counsel Rick Cotton. “It is clear that WHDH is contractually required to air NBC programming as scheduled by the network.”

The radical move by WHDH comes as several affils nervously wait to see how NBC’s primetime Leno series evolves and ultimately impacts their business.

Now, WHDH is leading this charge not purely due to Leno-hate, but because they are getting spanked in the local news ratings.

As the story above noted, they recently axed longtime anchor Randy Price (who’s sort of a more dapper version of Michael McKean’s character from Best in Show) and are desperately trying to regain their stranglehold on the Boston news audience.

Dunno, guys, maybe people are sick of your ridiculous overhyping of unimportant stories, broadcasting canned pieces from other parts of the country, completely uninformative sports broadcasts, and pathetic roster of imbecilic “talent”?

We could go on for paragraphs slamming their News Team, but here are a few of our least-faves.

Lead anchor Frances Rivera is just weird, sports guy Joe Amorosino is a doofus, Lauren Pryzbyl really needs to change her name – it’s TV news, what the hell is wrong with you?! – and Grant Greenberg looks and reports as if he’s about five years old.

Brandon Rudat constantly appeared on air looking like the walking undead, until they fired him.

Their last high-profile hire, pageant queen/sports gal Julie Donaldson, was almost immediately embroiled in an amazing sex-tape scandal involving booze, courtroom testimony and a “former Slamball player.”

Donaldson: Went down in a blaze of glory.

This after their former news director flipped out at Logan Airport and got arrested. “I’m a big shot in Boston and I’ll have your fucking jobs.” Or, you’ll get fired.

Other than competent weatherman Pete Bouchard, WHDH pretty much stinks at news.

(Oh yeah, and Sorboni Banerjee is kinda cute.)

Consequently, their fall from grace in the nation’s seventh-largest market might not be completely a Silverman-related issue.

However, as the informed commenters at TV by the Numbers point out, this Leno scheme is a real loser for NBC:

Doc Michaels says:

As Ed Ansin (WHDH’s head honcho) points out in the article, WHDH has a unique licensing agreement with NBC — one that was established when WBZ became a CBS outlet — that allows them to do this. He’s incredibly cagey and they don’t make decisions recklessly — they obviously believe they can do this because of their arrangement with NBC, which leads me to think they can and will.

NBC has all kinds of options, there are indie stations like WSBK (which is now owned by CBS) where they can put Leno on. That said, the reach of whatever outlet they go with will pale in comparison to WHDH. And at this point, with NBC falling apart, maybe Ansin feels losing NBC wouldn’t even be the worst thing in the world.

This is bad, bad news for NBC, no doubt about it, especially it happening in Leno’s hometown.

Frank J says:

“Do they really think Leno is going to do worse leading into their newscasts than Law & Order, My Own Worst Enemy, Lipstick Jungle, and Dateline?”

The answer is apparently yes. Or at least they feel NBC should be putting new, and better, scripted shows or reality shows during that hour instead of settling for Leno. I’d be curious to see the ratings breakdown for the Boston area. I bet its slightly different than the country as a whole. In fact, I’d be curious to see Leno’s current ratings for the Boston viewing area.

Jack says:

I work for one of the bigger affiliates and WHDH is not going to be the only one playing this hand. NBC can claim breach of contract but they drew first blood. We are not confident that Leno can maintain any kind of numbers for long in that slot. To take up every 10PM slot is a slap in the face of the affiliates who are confident they can gain bigger ratings with news or alternate programming. NBC shoved this down our throats in an effort to keep Leno from going to FOX. They don’t even have confidence in his ability to hold the numbers for long. NBC hopes to keep him around long enough to give Conan a chance to build up his audience before Leno fails at NBC and does Late Night on FOX. We are afraid that Leno’s ratings will be lower in a month than the lowest NBC rated show is right now.

Boston Born and Raised says:

This is not about Jay Leno at all. This is about channel 7 and it’s fundamental goal of being the tv news leader in Boston. Since buying channel 56 and broadcasting it’s 7 News at 10 o’clock on it, Ansin has been repeatedly embarrassed about being crushed in the ratings by Fox 25. Ansin and his team have been searching for an idea to shake up the situation. After several attempts to tweak the format and change anchors, the idea of moving the newscast to the station with the stronger image is a last resort. Ansin has been amazed that 7’s 10 o’clock news has perfomed so badly next to the smaller operation at Fox 25. He is determined to win and I do not believe he takes NBC’s threats seriously, no matter what the affiliate contract states. NBC’s options are pretty lousy. They are not going to take on the expense of starting an owner operated station in Boston, and even if they were to, it would take close to a year to get on the air. The second option of switching to an independent is highly unlikely. The most obvious, TV 38, would be a step down in visibility in an important market for NBC. Plus, TV 38 is part of the CBS family and they are unlikely to approve an NBC affiliation. The other independents in the market would be a huge step down in visibility for NBC.

NBC – what a frickin’ mess.

As long as Silverman hangs onto his job, things are not likely to improve. And with affiliates jumping ship on the Leno plan, further trouble is in store.

We call it Must Poop On TV.

According to articles in today’s Boston Herald, the Girl Scouts of Eastern Massachusetts are having a devil of a time unloading all their Girl Scout Cookies.

300,000 boxes remain unsold, and the deadline for getting rid of them is looming!

Now the organization’s leader, Ms. Ruth Bramson, is appealing to the people of Boston to “reach deep into your pockets” and make the investment in America’s future women leaders that is a Girl Scout Cookie purchase.

However, after reading up on the cookie crisis, we are inclined to question the sales pitch.

Here’s the main article in the Herald, entitled “Girl Scout cookie sales crumble“:

Cash-hungry local Girl Scouts have just six days to sell a staggering 300,000 boxes of Thin Mints, Daisy Go Rounds and other cookie favorites or else face possible steep fee hikes and deep cuts in their charity programs.

A harsh winter, a tough economy and a widespread peanut butter panic conspired to take a big bite out of this year’s cookie dough, leaving sales down 11 percent from last year and the Girl Scouts of Eastern Massachusetts $1.2 million short of their goal.

“It’s been a difficult selling season,” said Chief Executive Officer Ruth Bramson – who’s hoping her Girl Scouts can avoid having to do “Samoas with less.”

Cookie revenue, Bramson said, pays for troops’ activities, sends underprivileged kids to summer camp and pays for programs such as Girl Scouting Beyond Bars, which reconnects some youths with their mothers incarcerated at MCI-Framingham.

Now jeopardized by the funding shortage, Girl Scouting Beyond Bars already has 60 girls on a waiting list, Bramson said.

Girl Scouts of Eastern Massachusetts, which serves 45,000 girls ages 5 to 17 in 178 communities from Cape Ann to Cape Cod, has sold some 2.5 million boxes of cookies since January – 300,000 less than last year.

Nationally, Bramson said cookie sales have crumbled 20 percent.

“There were a lot of contributing factors,” she said. “The economy has really had an impact, and God gave me peanut butter (panic) and really miserable weather. We’re reaching out to the public to say, ‘Please, reach deep into your pockets and your hearts because this impacts the young women leaders of the future.’ ”

We feel sorry for the poor Scouts out there hawking cookies in the freezing cold and seeing disappointing sales.

However, Ms. Bramson’s comments imply that the proceeds from the cookie fund are pipelined directly into funding for the Scouts’ causes, thus boxes sold -> money for summer camp and Scouting Beyond Bars.

This strikes us as misleading, because an important transaction is left out.

Before cookie proceeds can be allocated to needy kids, the Scouting organization has to pay all its overhead first.

Here’s an 2005 annual report from the Patriots’ Trail Council, one of three former Massachusetts Girl Scouts’ Councils that were ultimately folded into the Eastern Massachusetts Council. Although it is a few years old, it provides an interesting look at the bookkeeping that underlies the Girl Scouts’ operations. (We would have preferred an annual report from the Eastern Mass. council, but none was available on their website.)

The most relevant portion is the breakout of income and expenses for the fiscal year:

As you can see, 2005 was a pretty good year for the Patriots’ Trail, with a net income of half a million dollars.

That said, the single greatest expense for the Council was its administrative overhead, with over $3 million needed to pay the salaries of Girl Scout employees.

In this example, administrative costs essentially wiped out the net income from “product sales” – ie. Girl Scout Cookies, leaving grants, contributions and the like to make up the difference.

That’s not exactly the picture painted by Ms. Bramson in the Herald article. And this was in a good year for the Patriots’ Trail.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a nonprofit organization paying its employees decent salaries, that’s only fair. Someone has to be in charge of the Girl Scouts, and parent volunteers can’t possibly coordinate the complex logistics of a multi-million dollar cookie sales operation in their free time.

But it’s more than a little eyebrow-raising to see a cookie sales shortfall presented as a blow to charity per se, when the actual picture appears to be more complex than a simple cookies->charity transaction.

In reality, the Girl Scout revenue equation is more like cookie sales – cost of Girl Scout bureaucracy = money left over for charity.

And with sales down, there will be a lot less money left over to visit imprisoned mommies!

Meanwhile, little girls are enduring sometimes oppressive conditions to move units and pay the salaries of adults in the Girl Scout offices:

One reason the milk caramel chips are down: Madeline English School fourth-grader Samantha Mandracchia, 10, of Troop 71071 in Everett, a smart cookie if ever there was one, nearly froze to death this winter trying to persuade strangers to open their doors to her sales pitch.

“I had my hat on, my coat, my boots, my scarf, everything I could possibly put on,” she said, “but my face was still cold.”

What kept Samantha going? “I enjoy seeing people happy,” she said. “Not a lot of people on my street have breaks (at work). I figure they can at least eat cookies.”

Yes, Samantha, when working conditions are horrible, at least there are COOKIES to get us through!

Another valuable life lesson for the children on the Girl Scout sales force.

The nasty downside to this silver lining is that (a) Girl Scout Cookies are really unhealthy and (b) Massachusetts gets its cookies from the decidedly crappier of the two Girl Scout bakeries.

First, the health issue. OF COURSE cookies aren’t a health food, nor should they be. However, we thought that the whole “trans fats are a horrible poison” issue had been largely settled.

But there are still trans fats in Girl Scout cookies! Fork & Bottle exposes the devious trickery of the cookie bakers…

Girl Scout Cookie Season has officially opened once again. What’s new? Not a lot. Trans fats are still lurking in Girl Scout cookies even though the per-serving percentage is listed at zero (meaning less than 0.5%), the same as last year. High Fructose Corn Syrup is still a component of some cookies. Palm oil is still a major player.

Over the past year I’ve received emails scolding me for this rant. I’ve never said not to support the Girl Scouts (meaning “the actual girls”) just to please question their corporation, the decisions of the officers to continue the insanity of this cookie program which has girls learning commerce by selling inferior cookies. The ABC/Interbake site main page especially irks me: “Girl Scout Cookies sales help girls stay active and make healthy choices. Click here to find out how.”

Loophole alert: If the “Serving Size” for any GS cookie having PHOs is increased by just one cookie, it would be listed on the box as having 1 gram of trans fat. You do the math!

[...]

The title of their web page is “Cookies — a healthy alternative!” (Still says this!) Processed cookies are a “Healthy Alternative”? To what? But the key thing here is that the Girl Scouts *own website* implies that their transfat cookies aren’t healthy, and that’s why they are trying to eliminate the transfat in them. Their website article also focuses on ABC/Interbake’s cookies which now “have a nutritional value of zero grams trans fat per serving” and fails to mention that their other bakery, Little Brown Bakery, did not at all eliminate unhealthy transfats. Apparently, they are promising to eliminate transfat in 2006-2007 or rather offer cookies with zero grams of transfat per serving. That’s not quite the same thing (see below).

Another part of their Website:

“WHAT THIS MEANS FOR GIRL SCOUTING
As a values-based organization dedicated to healthy lifestyles for girls, Girl Scouting can expect the media and the public to hold the cookies sold under the Girl Scout brand up for special scrutiny.”

Good, as I’m doing that right here!

I learned that Girl Scout Cookies are made by just two companies, ABC/Interbake and the Little Brown Bakery. Both make Thin Mints, which I believe is their most popular choice. This year, one of their two manufacturers, ABC/Interbake has “eliminated” transfat in five of their cookies. But, well, not exactly…

USDA on Transfat:
Zero = < 0.5g per serving
Q: Is it possible for a food product to list the amount of trans fat as 0 g on the Nutrition Facts panel if the ingredient list indicates that it contains “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil?” A: Yes. Food manufacturers are allowed to list amounts of trans fat with less than 0.5 gram per serving as zero on the Nutrition Facts panel. As a result, consumers are seeing products that list zero gram transfat on the label, while the ingredient list will have “shortening” or “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil” on it.”

This means the food contains very small amounts (less than 0.5 g) of trans fat per serving. (…and how many people do you know who confine themselves to no more than the specified serving size…how many eat 4 or less cookies at a time?)A: Yes. Food manufacturers are allowed to list amounts of trans fat with less than 0.5 gram per serving as zero on the Nutrition Facts panel. As a result, consumers are seeing products that list zero gram transfat on the label, while the ingredient list will have “shortening” or “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil” on it.”

This means the food contains very small amounts (less than 0.5 g) of trans fat per serving. (…and how many people do you know who confine themselves to no more than the specified serving size…how many eat 4 or less cookies at a time?)

A healthy alternative, indeed…assuming you mean an alternative to dipping one’s finger in a vat of pure trans fatty goodness!

What’s worse for Massachusetts cookie buyers, Girl Scouts in the Boston area are dealing ABC cookies, instead of Little Brownie Bakery.

To the uninitiated, that means that Bostonians get “Caramel DeLites” instead of “Samoas,” and so forth.

If you’ve never had the opportunity to taste-test cookies from the opposing bakeries, believe us when we tell you, Little Brownie kicks the tail of ABC every time.

Forgive us for this heresy against all that is American and patriotic about Girl Scouting, but it looks to us like a large bureaucracy is sending schoolchildren into the cold winter to hawk an inferior, unhealthy product with a bogus market monopoly, with the proceeds going to support said bureaucracy. And if the sales fall short, the shortfall comes straight out of the charitable enterprises!

Why should we support this, again? How is this a good cause to “dig deep” for??

Selling cookies teaches girls how to plan, market, prepare a budget and work as a team, Bramson said.

“They’re a powerful force,” she said, the pride apparent in her voice. “They really put their thumbprint on the world at an early age.”

There is definitely something to be said for the encouragement of young girls to get all capitalistic, to compete, to learn to budget, deliver promised goods on time, to become little industrious citizens.

In other words, it’s not a TOTALLY exploitative enterprise.

Under the leadership of Ms. Bramson, three Girl Scout councils were folded into the Eastern Massachusetts council, without significant labor cutbacks, according to another Herald article:

Bramson’s first challenge with the new council was to develop the organizational structure and figure out who would fill which job best. Altogether, 92 percent of the three councils’ staffs – about 100 in all – remained.

“My human resources background has come in handy,” Bramson says of those first six months. “The whole idea of how you assess people and put them in the right job, how to set goals and reach them, everything from the job descriptions to recruiting, that’s all HR.”

We’re not the HR experts that Ms. Bramson is, but it seems a little odd that folding three quite similar organizations into one would result in so little redundancy – only 8%.

Numbers of staff don’t tell the whole story, though. What kind of jobs are the Girl Scouts’ sales  supporting?

Out of curiosity, we checked out the benefits package that goes along with being a Girl Scouts employee.

It turns out it’s pretty damn sweet.

Medical Insurance

Full-time employees of Girl Scouts, Patriots’ Trail Council, are eligible for medical coverage through Harvard Pilgrim Health Care. Harvard Pilgrim offers 3 levels of coverage: Individual, Dual, and Family plans. The Council will pay a percentage of the monthly premiums for each employee’s coverage based on the level of coverage elected. Coverage becomes effective on the employee’s first day of work.

Dental Insurance

Voluntary dental coverage is available through Delta Dental. Delta Dental offers individual and family plans. The Council will pay a percentage of the monthly premiums for each employee’s coverage based on the level of coverage elected. Coverage becomes effective on the employee’s first day of work.

Domestic Partner Coverage

Harvard Pilgrim Health Care and Delta Dental allow Patriots’ Trail staff to enroll same sex or opposite sex domestic partners under their health plan.

[...]

Paid Leave and Holidays

We have an extensive paid time off plan for our staff. New full-time non-exempt hourly employees earn 10 days of vacation leave per year. New full-time exempt employees earn 20 days of vacation leave per year. All full-time employees accumulate one sick day per month and are granted 3 personal days each year. 13 holidays are celebrated as paid holidays throughout the calendar year.

Hot Damn!!

20 vacation days, 12 sick days, 3 personal days, and 13 paid holidays??

How many profit-sector employees score such delicious bennies?

Why did we waste time writing this piece when we clearly should have spent it prepping our resume for a job with the Girl Scouts?

CEO Bramson: Dig deep, somebody needs to pay for my staff’s 48 paid days off!

So attention, Boston.

If you don’t break out your wallets in the next week and start buying those damn cookies, little girls aren’t going to see their mamas in prison.

Because you best BELIEVE we won’t be surrendering any paid holidays in our new gig with the Girl Scouts.

The Boston brewer who created the legendary Haffenreffer Private Stock malt liquor has passed away at the age of 91.

Theodore Haffenreffer grew up in the beverage business: his house shared water pipes with the family brewery next door.

He ultimately became a European-trained expert in the ways of boozedom, and created one of the most enduring brands of hard-hitting brew that the United States has ever seen.

His obituary in the GLOBE tells a fascinating tale:

Raised next door to the family brewery in Jamaica Plain and trained in Copenhagen as a brewer, Theodore C. Haffenreffer Jr. had far more discerning tastes than most who raise a mug to their lips.

“When my father tasted any new beer, the first thing he would comment on was how it was hopped,” Hatsy Shields of Hamilton said, referring to how well the hop plants had flavored a brew. “He would taste it, he would swirl it around his mouth, and he would say, ‘Well hopped’ or it needed work.”

Mr. Haffenreffer, who took over his family business, Haffenreffer & Co., and ran it until it was shuttered in 1964, died Dec. 27 in his home in the Chestnut Hill section of Newton after a period of failing health. He was 91.

“The brewery meant a lot to him,” his daughter said. “It was a vibrant place, and I think it was a great part of the life of that neighborhood.”

Haffenreffer & Co. also was, for many decades, part of Boston’s storied history. In the late 1880s, after the Civil War, Mr. Haffenreffer’s grandfather launched the family business, using water from Stony Brook.

The brewery became a sprawling complex with more than a dozen buildings, including some that housed workers. Legend has it that an outside spigot at one building offered free beer day and night and that Red Sox players – including Babe Ruth – stopped after home games to quench their thirst.

[...]

Mr. Haffenreffer graduated from the Rivers School, which then was in Brookline, and studied chemistry at the University of Birmingham in England. From there, he went to Copenhagen to train at the Tuborg Brewery.

[...]

Tall and athletic, Mr. Haffenreffer played squash at Union Boat Club on Beacon Hill and was an accomplished sailor, a talent he passed on to some of his children, one of whom competed internationally. With his family, he spent decades of summers on Prouts Neck in Scarborough, Maine.

When Mr. Haffenreffer closed the family’s brewery, he sold its brands of beer, including Haffenreffer Private Stock, to his cousins, who at the time ran Narragansett Brewing Co. in Rhode Island.

[...]

In the gardens, she said, “Dad was really the designer. He organized the shape of the pond while it was being dredged, and he was also the arborist. He loved to prune and he had an eclectic taste for very unusual trees. He loved to shape them; his design sense was strong and right.”

So, too, was his approach to welcoming in visitors to view the beauty he and his wife had coaxed from the earth.

“What gave them the greatest pleasure was that they opened their gardens on Sundays, always, to the neighborhood in the summer,” their daughter said.

“He was a great gentleman, and that is something all his friends recognize. He was courteous and attentive to people in the way a gentleman is. It wasn’t just his manners, it was his heart that made him a gentleman.”

Although Haffenreffer’s heyday was quite a while ago, the malt liquor that bears his name still remains culturally relevant.

Len Bias famously bought a gang of Private Stock on his last night alive. Tragically, its healthful effects were not enough to counteract the cocaine that killed him.

Notorious B.I.G. immortalized the brand in his signature hit, “Juicy“:

I let my tape rock ’til my tape popped
Smokin’ weed and Bambu, sippin’ on Private Stock
Way back, when I had the red and black lumberjack
With the hat to match.

Clearly, Private Stock is a legendary liquid creation.

But is it tasty?

For the definitive answer on that, we turn to our designated malt liquor guru, Bruz of 40OunceMaltLiquor.com….

The “imported taste” is amazing. This is one of my favorite 40s ever. I love it… goes down smooth… doesn’t taste like all the rest… makes you feel good inside… puts a smile on your face… Private Stock is awesome. It’s often compared to Ballantine Ale for reasons I’m not certain of – they don’t taste alike. Ballantine has a basic ale flavor, this has a sorta spicy malt flavor, yet not overly strong. Hooks you up with a slight buzz too. Easy 10/10 swills, it’s delicious. It’s available in NJ but not within easy grasp for me… I wish it was though, this brew should be part of a balanced diet. That’s right – I’d drink it every day.

Bruz has spoken, and gesticulated.

Even better, many bottles of Private Stock have rebuses under the bottlecap. So you can stimulate your mindbrain and your booze nerve simultaneously!

Private Stock is clearly a superb malt liquor selection.

So please join us in celebrating Mr. Haffenreffer…

A true gentleman who brewed a delicious, nutritious taste sensation that won fans across cultures and generations.

Now let’s raise our frosty bottles of Private Stock and pour some out for our homey who is no longer with us, Theodore C. Haffenreffer, Jr.

Mourn ya till we join ya.

Update 8/30/10: ROTI also mourns the passing of August Haffenreffer, another member of the brewing clan who played a vital role in the creation of “Green Death” Private Stock. Read his obituary here.

It stinks that the Patriots finished 11-5 and will still miss the playoffs, while the horrid San Diego Chargers won their putrid division with an 8-8 record and get to HOST a postseason game.

However, New England fans can still rejoice today as one of the region’s #1 enemies has been dethroned, embarassed and sent packing.

Jets coach Eric Mangini got fired last night!

Mangini, 37, came to the Jets as the youngest coach in the NFL before the 2006 season, replacing Herm Edwards. His first season, the Jets went 10-6 and made the playoffs. Mangini was dubbed “Mangenius” and had a cameo on “The Sopranos” after the season. His stock was never higher.

The bottom fell out in Year 2 with a 4-12 record. That led to a makeover last winter where the team spent $140 million acquiring veterans Kris Jenkins, Alan Faneca, Calvin Pace and Damien Woody.

The Jets then made their biggest move, trading for Brett Favre in August. The trade raised expectations and the pressure on Mangini.

Mangini looked poised to return to the playoffs in mid-November after big road wins in New England and Tennessee. The team was 8-3 with a two-game lead in the division but the bottom fell out.

They lost at home to Denver and in San Francisco before getting a miracle win over Buffalo at home. The Jets still controlled their playoff destiny entering the final two games of the season but lost in Seattle and at home to Miami to end the year 9-7 and out of the playoffs.

Mangini’s reign will be remembered for his tight-lipped approach with the media and the paranoia felt in the locker room. He brought the approach of his mentor, Bill Belichick from the Patriots. Jets veterans grumbled at how Mangini treated them.

We’ve always felt that it was amusing that Mangini was asked to appear on the Sopranos since he is the Big Pussy of the NFL. His tenure was short and fraught with human weakness, and his best-known coaching move will probably always be his decision to snitch on his former boss:

Before joining the Jets, Mangini served as New England’s defensive coordinator under Bill Belichick for a season after five years as the Patriots’ defensive backs coach. He quickly became regarded as one of the game’s top young coaching minds.

After the Jets traded the rights to coach Herm Edwards to the Kansas City Chiefs for a fourth-round pick in the 2006 draft, they replaced him with Mangini.

With a workmanlike and tightlipped approach, Mangini drew instant comparisons to Belichick. And they appeared warranted, especially after a quick turnaround season.

When Mangini came to the Jets, it was believed Belichick was annoyed his young assistant left him, marking the beginning of a rift. There also was talk that Belichick was angry Mangini was speaking to Patriots players and coaches about joining him in New York. That was capped by New England filing a tampering charge against the Jets in connection with New York’s trade talks with wide receiver Deion Branch. The Jets were cleared of the charges and Branch ended up in Seattle.

The dispute came to a head last year when the Jets reported the Patriots illegally used videotape to steal New York’s defensive signals during the season opener. Belichick was fined $500,000 and the team docked $250,000 and a draft pick.

Still, Mangini couldn’t lead the Jets out of the Patriots’ shadow — even with Tom Brady sidelined for the year — and were surpassed in the division by the Miami Dolphins.

A snitch AND a failure. Also, he’s extremely dopey looking.

Eric Mangini was never that good of a coach to begin with, his work on the New England defense was nothing special, and his coaching tactics in New Jersey were all cribbed from the competent coaches he’d worked for – boxing films from Parcells, being an asshole from Belichick. He’s a fraud.

Not that the team that just fired him deserves much credit, either. The Jets have long been too impatient to develop their own players and coaching talent, and for the last two decades have been pretty much just ripping off the hard work of other teams by throwing money at opposing players and coaches to come rescue them. The idea of developing stars instead of purchasing them, or the idea of putting a system in place from the top instead of trying to buy a coach who will show up white-knight-like with his own plan…these concepts are completely lost on the team Gregg Easterbrook calls “Jersey-B.”

Looking back across the past decade or so, the results of the Jets spendthrift technique have been pretty stinky. The Parcells/Curtis Martin heist netted the Jets a lot of regular season wins but nothing in the playoffs. The Herm Edwards years…we’re pretty certain nobody wants to dwell on those. Then the Jets hired Mangini away from their rivals to the north, figuring perhaps that his lack of any meaningful experience would be offset by his snitching abilities and talent for stealing Patriots staff. They tried to buy offensive and defensive lines on the free market and greedily snatched up Green Bay star Brett Favre, throwing away Chad Pennington in the process.

When Tom Brady got hurt, the NY media basically crowned the Jets division champions.

The Jets got off to a great start…then the team folded up like a well-lubed card table. Pennington showed up on the last week of the season leading Miami, beat the Jets’ asses and dropped them into 3rd place.

On cue, ownership blew everything up again.

The New York papers are already beating the drums for former Pittsburgh coach Bill Cowher, calling him “The Holy Grail“. What they and the Jets don’t understand is that Bill Cowher’s coaching career was so successful because he worked for an organization with a strong, consistent, time-tested approach to winning in the NFL, one that is not predicated on throwing money at other people’s ideas, coaching talent and players.

Next up: Jets push hard to sign Matt Cassel.

As for Mangina, we hope he gets sent to the same group home that Randy Wagstaff was banished to, where daily beatings and “snitch bitch” carved into everything you own is de rigeur.