Mild NSFW Warning — Poop, Pet Barf, Super Fake Violence to Super Fake Boob. (Roughly arranged from most safe to least, and I will warn you before they get gross.)

One of the most delightful online trends over the past year is the rediscovery of the animated GIF, an old technology that has recently been employed for all manner of comedic uses. It’s now Interwebs Standard Operating Procedure to take a great piece of video and turn it into a GIF, or to use good GIFsmanship to take a series of photos and make them hilarious.

ROTI knows of no greater authority on the topic of amusing GIFs than famed tipster C. Dave.

He’s collected a crop of great GIFs that have caught his eye over the past month, and we are proud to present what will hopefully be a recurring feature in this space:  This Month in GIF.

Leave Your Dog Alone, Dumbass:

Yoga Ball Faceplant:

Yoga Ball Joust:

I Hate Sisters!

Wipeout at the Goal Line:

Commuter Nap Disaster:

Where’d The Evidence Go?

MJ Loved Popcorn:

Blonde Steel:

Bela Declares Bullshit:

Taping Yer Face:

Slappin’a Child (from the Danish film “Terribly Happy”):

Look Before You Leap:

Her Air Hockey Skill Depends On Your Sexual Preference:

Whassup wit yo microphone?

Baba Booey Caught Sleeping on the Job:

Riker Transforms into Badass

Okay, faint of heart, click away from this page now!!

POTENTIALLY NSFW/GROSS BEYOND THIS THRESHOLD.

And now for the final hilarious items for the most stalwart among you…

Getting Too Cute with the Horse Farm Report:

Boob Chop

And finally…

The Nastiest GIF Ever Made:

Well done, C. Dave! I, for one, am looking forward to many future installments of this series!

Rumors on the Internets just racked up our biggest month ever.

And that’s despite the fact that the site’s been pretty quiet the past week or so…Meanwhile, however, our Facebook page has been jumping with tasty items to keep our most devoted fans (198 and counting) entertained. Click here to sign up if you have not yet done so.

Here’s a wrapup of what you may have missed…

Gawker found an amazing collection of photos that Luke Perry took with fans at something called DragonCon. The inimitable C. Dave sent along the animated GIF (above) that encapsulates the gloriousness of this appearance.

Bristol Palin danced the jive in a monkey suit on Dancing with the Stars. This performance earned her a score of 6-6-6.

We encouraged everyone to listen to “Say Yeah” by the Commodores while maleejing.

(That’s the verb form of “make love job,” in case you’re wondering.)

Jimmy McMillan of The Rent is Too Damn High Party stole the show in the New York Governor’s Debate.

Consider this a reminder to all our American readers to vote on Tuesday — if you hate the D and R options, cast your ballot for a third party genius like this guy!

I missed my chance to watch Enthiran (The Robot) in the local theater since it opened and closed in a matter of days, but the kick ass A.R. Rahman songs are on Youtube. That will have to tide me over until the DVD drops.

I did manage to see “The Social Network.” Masterpiece! The critics of this film completely missed the point…

After moving to a wealthy Boston suburb, Shaq nicknamed himself Blackie Bulger, Godfather of Sudbury. He quickly took it back after being persuaded that a mass murderer like Whitey Bulger was nothing to joke about…but I am not convinced, and in my book, that nickname is still totally hilarious.

Retired Navy SEAL Don Shipley humiliated a bunch of military frauds with this delightful slide show set to Rockwell’s Somebody’s Watching Me.

1530Homer sports radio host Mo Egger hooked us up with a link on his blog; Ohioans flocked to ROTI for the straight poop on Yuengling’s expansion into new markets. Cheap tasty beer is coming, Cincinnati.

One of the best entries from Passive Aggressive Notes ever:

Esteemed reader Schmentz sent along this amazing video, in which a street performer humanizes the plight of the homeless using two Kermit puppets. I never truly appreciated “Under Pressure” until I saw this brilliant performance.

Finally, this classic SNL clip. Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet, promoting his new CD “The Coconut Bangers Ball…It’s a Rap!” His rendition of “Thong Song” gets me every time, and the bighorn cameo is amazing. (NSFW language!)

Once again, to get regular slices of goodness deposited amidst the agonizingly banal baby pictures and job-related complaints on your News Feed, become a Facebook fan of ROTI by clicking here.

Lots of good stuff to come this week, kicking off November right with some tasty tunes.

We’re gonna get mad deep like a threat.

“Deep Cuts Week” from the ROTI Jams Department starts 11/1/10.

Hey dudes, would you like to get with a young lady with the finest Alaskan genes, spawn of an Iron Dog champ and wilderness woman?

Then we have good news for you, because Bristol Palin is single!

Yeah, there’s the whole baby situation – she popped one out after the Vice Presidential bid of her mom, Sarah, went down in flames, then gave it the idiotic name “Tripp.”

And ya know, you might have to deal with her white trash baby daddy, his mom the drug dealer, and whatever else crazy Wasilla mess is going down…

But listen up gents. The most eligible bachelorette in The Last Frontier is available! Don’t miss out on this priceless opportunity to marry into the Palin political dynasty!

We just heard about this breaking news from trusted ally SecretM…

A screaming report from STAR magazine tells all:

The teen love affair that rocked last year’s presidential race is over.

Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, has ditched her baby daddy, Levi Johnston!

Now’s Levi’s sister, Mercede is telling all exclusively to Star and the picture she paints of life in Wasilla, Alaska is not a pretty one. Bristol, 18, has virtually cut Levi out of the life of their two-month-old son Tripp.

“Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’!” Bristol won’t even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours — unless he’s babysitting!

The worst part, Mercede continues, is that the former vice presidential candidate supports Bristol’s treatment of Levi, 19. “I used to love Sarah,” Mercede says sadly. “But I’ve lost lots of respect for her.

Can’t imagine what it was about Levi that turned Bristol off.
Could it be the last-name arm tat?

RADAR mag has more from the Star story:

Sarah Palin’s 18-year-old daughter Bristol has reportedly broken off her engagement with Levi Johnston, the father of her 2-month-old son Tripp. It’s surprising because in an interview just last month with FOX’s Gretta Van Susteren, Bristol said the 19-year-old Levi is a hands-on dad and that they planned on marrying after finishing their education.

But in a new interview with Star Magazine, Levi’s sister Mercede Johnston says Bristol actually broke up with Levi more than a month ago, is not attending school and rarely lets her baby daddy see their young son. Mercede also says Bristol even told him that she hates him and, when she learned she was pregnant, wished the baby wasn’t his.

Mercede told Star: “Bristol’s just crazy. That’s the nicest way I can put it. She and Levi actually broke up a while ago!”

Apparently, Levi is also far from being a hands-on dad. Said Mercede: “Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible for him. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash.’She treats him so badly!”

Wonkette quips, “Hey Levi, call your pretend grandpa John McCain and ask why he’s against tattoo-removal programs for American losers.” [pic via]

OF COURSE she is kicking this self-proclaimed redneck to the curb.

Bristol’s prospects are a lot better now that her mother is the hero of America’s hicks and hockey moms.

Although that whiny Meghan McCain claims that her dating life stinks ever since her dad ran for President, we think maybe she’s just too picky or something.

But when your previous beau is an unemployed Wasilla dumbass with a drug dealer mom, there’s nowhere to go but up!

So attention dudes! Simply print this picture out, glue a picture of your face over Sarah Palin’s, and bask in the fantasy of being Bristol’s new man!

UPDATE via GAWKER:

The Star story that got the ball rolling yesterday morning was a “world exclusive” interview with Johnston’s trouble-making sister Mercede, who told the magazine—in exchange, perhaps, for some Oxycontin pills or whatever other painkillers are commonly used as chattel in Alaska?—that Bristol had cut Johnston out of their son Tripp’s life. “She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’!” Mercede told the magazine. (“Yeah, we could name her ‘Mercedes,’but I think ‘Mercede’just sounds a little classier,” one of Mercede’s parents once said.) Mercede was the first to warn America of the brewing tension between the Palins and the Johnstons in January, when she posted on her MySpace page that Palin considers Johston to be “white trash” and he newest grandson half-white-trash. She likes to say “white trash.”

In a nugget reserved for the print edition of Star, Mercede claims that Palin sent Johnston a text message reading thusly: “I hate you, and when I found out I was pregnant I wished the baby wasn’t yours.”

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it weren’t?

Indeed.

Ever searched in vain for the words to describe your latest poop?

Well then you’ve apparently never heard of the Bristol Stool Scale:

The Bristol Stool Scale or Bristol Stool Chart is a medical aid designed to classify the form of human feces into seven categories. It was developed by Heaton and Lewis at the University of Bristol and was first published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997. The form of the stool depends on the time it spends in the colon…

Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, with 3 and 4 being the “ideal stools” especially the latter, as they are the easiest to pass, and 5-7 being further tending towards diarrhea or urgency.

Having a hard time visualizing this?

We’re pleased to announce that thanks to Wikipedia, we can offer you a visual aid.

A goddamned hilarious visual aid!!!!

Oh those sweet, sweet number 4s. Smooth and soft.

[via, what else, this week's CHATOLOGICAL HUMOR]