Auto-Tune the News: Political Power Ballads

August 28, 2009 Leave a comment

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few months, you’ve probably caught one of the Auto-Tune the News videos.

Originally a viral sensation, they were quickly snapped up by the website BarelyPolitical. They’ve been spotlighted on NPR, and clips are often used as drops on ESPN Radio’s Scott Van Pelt Show.

So before the concept becomes completely stale, it’s high time for an overview of the series, highlighting its finest moments thus far.

The series is what its name says it is: an artful assemblage of clips from news channels, masterfully edited and turned into one hip-hop song after another with use of the ubiquitous Auto-Tune software.

ATTN is primarily the work of Michael Gregory, one of the talented siblings that make up the band The Gregory Brothers. The series also features his two older brothers, Andrew and Evan; Andrew’s primary role has been to perform romantic duets with Katie Couric, while Evan has played an increasingly vital role as the series has gone on, and may have stolen Katie away from his younger bro.

I’d be remiss to ignore the contributions of Evan’s really attractive and talented wife Sarah Fullen, who’s the secret weapon of the series. The most recent video also featured a non-related contributor, Aaron Steele, which makes us wonder what other guest stars might be in store…

The first video we’ll feature is the third in the series, which is the best of the early editions. This clip features a great performance by Ron Paul singing about freedom and liberty and the joys of “third-partying,” but I really love the joyous and racy duet between Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan and Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan while Hillary Clinton tries to get a word in edgewise.

“Hatching plans with you…invade Tajikistan with you” is a truly inspired piece of internationally-related lyricism. But for pure giggles it can’t touch “Making memories at the pottery wheel…rubbing clay on you all afternoon! HO!”

As good as #3 was, the fourth video was a huge step forward. To this day, we can’t think of Justice Sonia Sotomayor without thinking of the song that opens this video, in which the Gregorys sing about the loneliness of the lone female, Judge Ginsberg, and how the Court needs a “shorty…qualified to get low in the Apple Bottom row” – a role perfectly filled by the “jurisprudent” Sotomayor.

In the most respectful possible way, of course!

Joe Biden, a mainstay of the series, delivers an impassioned number that “goes out to the Serbians…also the ladies, but mostly the Serbians.” The video ends with a performance by the Angry Gorilla, a somewhat puzzling figure (played by Michael) who nonetheless sings a pretty awesome number that tells us of the woes that ensue “when an Angry Gorilla cries.”

Auto-Tune the News #5 might not be the strongest of the series, but it contains a duet between Katie Couric and Evan Gregory that is quite simply magnificent. It’s really unbelievable (a) how musical Couric’s anchor voice is even before being autotuned and (b) the cheesy things she says on the air. I never watch her newscast, so I had no idea. But the refrain “You can be Lady Gaga / I can be T-Pain / We can be bringin’ on the boogie, droppin’ rhymes like rain” is a work of sublime inspiration.

Oh yeah, and Joe Biden sings about AMERICA from space!

I find the the sixth video gets better and better every time I watch it. The video opens with a House debate on the climate change bill, featuring several Gregories along with brilliant performances by Michelle Bachmann, Nancy Pelosi, and an incandescent John Boehner. The minority leader’s refrain of “Hell No!” is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard.

The video also features solid segments with Sarah Palin and an amusing discussion of the death of Michael Jackson, who Jackson family attorney Brian Oxman described as “waking up dead.”

The reason these videos work is not the skillful video editing or the funny lyrics – although both elements are executed very effectively. These videos are awesome because the Gregory Brothers are musicians first, and the songs are all catchy as hell.

Seriously, I can’t get these songs out of my head.

Does anyone know of professional help for this? I would really like to be able to discuss politics without lapsing into R&B crooning of the most ridiculous nature.

If you would like to fall prey to the same condition, check out the entire series at Michael Gregory’s “Schmoyoho” Youtube channel. You can also take a look at the Gregory Brothers Myspace page or enjoy the soulful crooning of the really quite attractive Sarah Fullen as well…

Bravo, Gregorys. You’ve created a viral video series that will stand the test of time.

Filed under Jams, Power & Politics, Smiles Tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

Laura v. Cheney: WHALE WARS

November 5, 2008 1 Comment

We know most Americans would like to think of the Bush Administration as a bad dream. But they’re still in power!

And as Bush eats coconut cake, a battle is brewing.

Apparently, W’s plan to protect vast swaths of ocean from human trampling is running into stiff opposition from a junta led by who else, Dick Cheney. However, unlike in the past, Cheney is having trouble bending GWB to his will…

Laura Bush say, not so fast!

laura

The WASHINGTON POST reports:

President Bush’s vision for protecting two vast areas of the Pacific Ocean from fishing and mineral exploitation, a move that would constitute a major expansion of his environmental legacy, is running into dogged resistance both inside and outside the White House and has placed his wife and his vice president on opposite sides of the issue.

With less than three months before Bush’s term ends, his top deputies are scrambling to try to execute a plan that would shield some of the world’s most diverse underwater ecosystems. The original plan, which included four potential “marine monuments” and was well received by environmentalists, has already been scaled back.

Vice President Cheney and some officials in the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands have argued that the plan could hurt the region’s economy by barring fishing and energy exploration. First lady Laura Bush, along with a number of scientists and environmental advocates, has countered that preserving the region’s natural attributes would attract tourism and burnish the president’s record for history.

Laura Bush has asked for two briefings on the issue from White House staff members, and her aides have conferred with scientists who support the two designations.

[...]

Both regions are treasure troves of biodiversity: Kingman Reef and other islands in the central Pacific area teem with sharks and other top predators; the Mariana Trench and its nearby islands are home to several species of rare beaked whales and the Micronesian megapode — an endangered bird that uses the heat from volcanic vents to incubate its eggs — as well as to mud volcanoes, pools of boiling sulfur and the greatest microbial diversity on Earth.

Fight the power, Laura. Mrs. Galt would be proud.

Don’t just do it because it’s the right thing, do it because Hayden Pannettiere and her dolphin loving friends will blubber if you don’t.

And that blubbering will raise the tides, bringing on ECO-APOCALYPSE…

Filed under Power & Politics, Serious Business, Star Report Tagged with , ,

PRESIDENT CHENEY

October 3, 2008 1 Comment

cheney

Hear us out.

While it now seems very likely that Obama wins the election going away, let’s just hypothesize that McCain makes a huge comeback. Stranger things have happened in this weird election. McCain somehow makes a crazy resurgence and wins almost all the battlegrounds.

In addition to the 185 electoral votes he’s still hanging onto (per electoral-vote.com), Johnny Mac, fueled by Romo supplements, takes wins in:

NEVADA 5
COLORADO 9
FLORIDA 27
NORTH CAROLINA 15
VIRGINIA 13
NEW HAMPSHIRE 4

Somehow captures WISCONSIN (10) with a huge push from Sarah Palin…

and…
scores the one stray electoral vote in one congressional district in Maine that the McCain campaign just announced its intention to go after…

269 – 269 tie.

OK, so then as everybody knows, the election goes to the House, where the Democrats will have a commanding majority and Obama wins. Right?

Twelfth Amendment sez:

But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice.

And as Charlie Cook wrote today, 26 state delegations is no cakewalk for Obama:

We obviously don’t know the makeup of the 111th Congress, but we do know that Democrats now control 27 delegations, Republicans have 21, and two are evenly divided. So I asked my colleague, David Wasserman, the House editor of The Cook Political Report, to game out what would happen if the election were thrown into the House. He concluded that it might not be easy to reach 26 votes, given that a lot of Democrats serve districts with a long history of supporting the Republican presidential nominee. Would North Dakota and South Dakota’s at-large Democratic representatives — Earl Pomeroy and Stephanie Herseth Sandlin — vote with their electorate or their party? Although Obama is competitive in North Dakota, he is still likely to come up a bit short and has virtually no chance of winning in South Dakota. In her 2004 campaign, Herseth Sandlin indicated that she would be open to voting for the Republican nominee — President Bush in that case — in the event of a tie in the Electoral College…

Wasserman argues that having to decide the presidential contest would put plenty of House delegations in uncomfortable positions. For example, if Democrat Ethan Berkowitz were to unseat longtime GOP Rep. Don Young in Alaska’s only House seat, Berkowitz would almost certainly seal his own defeat in 2010 if he stuck with his party and voted against a GOP ticket including the state’s popular governor. GOP Rep. Michael Castle, who represents Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden as Delaware’s only representative, would face the same choice.

And, if Democrats were to clinch a delegation majority in Arizona by protecting both of their vulnerable seats and picking off an open seat in the northern part of the state, five Democrats would have to choose between voting for Obama and voting for their state’s candidate and choice for president, John McCain.

There is no way to anticipate how members would weigh considerations such as the outcome of their state’s vote or the national popular vote. But for Obama, winning the support of 26 House delegations could be harder than it sounds. For one thing, four of the toss-up states in this scenario have even-numbered House delegations, meaning that intra-delegation deadlocks could reduce the number of states available to reach the magic number 26.

OK…so what happens if they are deadlocked at 25? The Twelfth Amendment continues:

And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.[1]

The Amendment then goes on to describe how the Vice-President is chosen, which could mean that this newly selected Vice-President would then serve as President. However, it does not prescribe for the selection of a new Vice-President in this instance, which seems curious. Could this mean that the current Vice-President would then serve a term as President?!?!?!

Given the stakes involved, the lack of precedent, and the series of bruising deadlocks that would lead to this scenario…is it such a stretch to see this going to the Supreme Court? And what will we find here – an even more conservative, Republican court than the one that came up with the very controversial Bush vs. Gore decision!

Ladies and Gentlemen, President Cheney. Dick Cheney.

And Palin wins one extra state delegation, becoming VP!

You’re so screwed Iran!!!

Filed under Power & Politics Tagged with , , ,

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