Darren Rovell Is Not A Real American

November 3, 2009 3 Comments

CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell ought to have his photograph in the dictionary next to the word “douche.”

His thoughts on the NYC Marathon victory of American runner Meb Keflezighi were utterly vile.

When called out for his bigotry, he stuck by his guns.

Now he’s trying to backpedal as a firestorm of criticism grows on the Twitter!

Here’s what Douche Rovell had to say when Keflezighi became the first American winner of the NYC race since the early 80s:

It’s a stunning headline: American Wins Men’s NYC Marathon For First Time Since ’82.

Unfortunately, it’s not as good as it sounds.

Meb Keflezighi, who won yesterday in New York, is technically American by virtue of him becoming a citizen in 1998, but the fact that he’s not American-born takes away from the magnitude of the achievement the headline implies.

Nationality in running counts. It’s why many identify Kenya as the land of the long distance champions.

As for the United States? Not so much.

It has been well-documented that since the mid-80′s, Americans haven’t had much success in the marathon. Many cite lack of motivation as the root of our troubles, as in our best athletes devote their lives to sports where they can make big money instead of collecting the relatively small paychecks that professional running offers. That, of course, is not the case with African runners, who see in the same winner’s check a lifetime full of riches.

Given our disappointing results, embracing Keflezighi is understandable. But Keflezighi’s country of origin is Eritrea, a small country in Africa. He is an American citizen thanks to taking a test and living in our country.

Nothing against Keflezighi, but he’s like a ringer who you hire to work a couple hours at your office so that you can win the executive softball league.

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“The Shack” Rebrands with Absurdity

August 31, 2009 3 Comments

the shack

You’re probably aware that Radio Shack is changing its name to “The Shack.”

The new brand is scheduled to be unveiled Aug. 6 during a three-day launch event in New York and San Francisco, the company said Monday. RadioShack also plans to get the word out through television, print and Web advertising.

“The Shack” was chosen as the new name based on the fact that many consumers were already dropping “Radio” from the company’s name when referring to one of its stores. “We decided to embrace that fact and share it with the world,” Lee Applebaum, chief marketing office for RadioShack, said in a statement.

RadioShack also hopes the new name will help the company change its image.

“We have tremendous equity in consumers’ minds around cables, parts and batteries, but it’s critically important that we help them to understand the role that we play in keeping people connected in this highly mobile world,” Applbaum said. “You will see a real focus on mobility and wireless products from leading brands in our new advertising.”

RadioShack announced last month the addition of T-Mobile to its line up of wireless carriers that the company has partnered with in its 4,000 stores as the retailer moves toward a more wireless-focused product line. RadioShack also sells AT&T and Sprint as wireless options for its products.

The Shack (I guess we have to call it that now) realized that it couldn’t stay alive by competing with the Internet for sales of parts and accessories. In a bid to hang onto relevance, the bricks-and-mortar chain is going hard after the youth market and is attempting to position itself as a mobile-phone superstore.

To that end, the company has released a dozen strange 15 second TV spots.

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Hell no, we won’t show Leno

April 3, 2009 Leave a comment

NBC’s prime time schedule has been a disaster for some time now.

It’s all the fault of their incompetent co-chairman, Ben Silverman.

While formerly-solid series like “Heroes” circle the drain and new efforts like “Kath and Kim” outright suck, Silverman has adeptly managed to keep his job with corporate-politics tactics like throwing subordinates under the bus.

Witness this Page Six account where he blames all the network’s problems on someone else:

NBC Entertainment co-chair Ben Silverman isn’t going to get all the blame for the network’s lackluster fall schedule.

With yesterday’s cancellation of two NBC shows produced by sister company Universal – “Lipstick Jungle,” which starred Brooke Shields, and “My Own Worst Enemy,” which featured Christian Slater -culpability falls on Universal Media Studio President Katherine Pope, who oversaw both doomed series.

Pope, an original producer on “Heroes,” was promoted to the top studio job because of the success of that NBC show.

Almost one year later, with ratings for “Heroes” slipping, she isn’t working out the way NBC planned. Top network brass is now overseeing production of the series in an attempt to save it.

“They call her the black widow. Every program she touches turns to death,” growled our source. “She is on very thin ice.” Pope also produced flash-in-the-pan series “Bionic Woman.”

Another network insider told Page Six, “There are internal concerns that she took her eye off the ball.” A rep for Pope at Universal had no comment.

Of course, none of NBC’s other new shows – “Knight Rider,” “Kath & Kim” and “Crusoe” – has become a hit, either. But Silverman, 37, has been able to cut costs at the network and seems to be satisfying his bosses, particularly NBC chairman Jeff Zucker.

In fact, one network insider actually praised Silverman, saying, “The company is very happy with Ben. He is deep in negotiations to re-up his contract with NBC, and he has the network up 50 percent profit from year to year.”

TV analysts say ratings have become less important as the viewing audience has scattered to proliferating cable channels. Silverman told The Post last summer: “We’re managing for margins and not for ratings.”

Whatever he is managing for, the result is terrible television.


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Sir Charles, Liege of Tent City?

February 24, 2009 Leave a comment

barkley mugshot

Charles Barkley made a big mistake.

We’re not talking about the DUI he embarrassed himself with recently, although of course that was a no-no.

Nor are we referencing the humiliating circumstances of his arrest:

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job.’ He then explained that she had given him a ‘blow job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

Ouch. But still, Chuck’s true blunder was all about location, location, location.

See, if a celebrity does wrong in Los Angeles County, they can always count on the protection of celeb-friendly judges and Sheriff Lee Baca to take care of them…suspended sentences, celebrity jail, early release, all that good stuff.

Elsewhere, sports heroes get plenty of cover from law enforcement – witness the case of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa, found passed out in his car at a stoplight with the car in drive and his foot on the brake! He got probation and didn’t even have to show up in court, thanks to the friendly Florida justice system!

Unfortunately, Barkley was arrested in Scottsdale, Arizona, which is located in Maricopa County.

Thus he has fallen into the clutches of America’s most obnoxious and wicked sheriff, Joe Arpaio.

arpaio

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Ziggy, Bodie, Bubs stick up for Phelps

February 17, 2009 Leave a comment

If you ever become a celebrity victim of the drug wars and you need a friend, don’t worry.

The cast of The Wire will stick up for you!

So, Mike Phelps took an Olympic-sized hit from a top-of-the-line Roor bong at a South Carolina frat party.

All hell broke loose after the above picture got out…

The local po-po arrested a bunch of hapless stoners and pumped them for info on Aquaman instead of, you know, asking where they got their drugs from. Not that we’d encourage any investigation of small time drug users in a jurisdiction with several unsolved homicides.

Kellogg’s said “Oh hell no” and pulled his endorsements, which we’re SURE was purely for moral reasons and not a cost-saving measure in light of the economic apocalypse.

Then Phelps had to apologize to China for being one toke over the line!! Sweet Jesus.

Well, Phleppsyboy, everything we’ve seen about you out of the pool indicates that you’re something of a douche. We wish we could find a link to the story about Phelps jealously texting male swimmers that their ladies were hitting it with NBA stars in Beijing, just because said ballers were ignoring him. But we can’t, so trust us…

Anyway, you might feel really alone right now, but you aren’t.

Ziggy Sobotka, Bodie Broadus and Bubbles are on your side, according to NYMag’s VULTURE blog!

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