All my rowdy mavericks are here on Monday night

October 14, 2008 Leave a comment

Hank Williams Jr. has written an execrable song to herald the suckfest that is the McCain campaign in the final month.

It opens with an attack on the “left wing liberal media” (redundancy alert), makes the argument that “John N Sarah” would make governing decisions based on the “sniff test”, moves into an incredibly simpleminded GOP talking points explanation of the economic crisis (Fannie and Freddie and loans to minorities are to blame for everything! And don’t listen to any of those so called economists, they’re all a bunch of liberals) before concluding with a truly baffling metaphor about a mama bear in Idaho.

It was played this morning on NPR, and suffice it to say that Mellencamp’s insipid “This is Our Country” is a masterpiece by comparison.

McCain – Palin Tradition
By Hank Williams Jr.

The left wing liberal media have
Always been a real close knit family
But, most of the American People
Don’t believe em anyway ya see
Stop and think it over
Before you make your decision
If they smell something
They’re gonna come down strong
It’s a McCain – Palin tradition

Now this old Union’s got problems
That is plain to see
The Democrats bankrupted Fannie Mae N Freddie Mac
Just like 1, 2, 3
The bankers didn’t want to make all those bad loans,
But Bill Clinton said you got to
Now they want a bail out, what I’m talking about
Is a Democrat liberal who doo

[CHORUS]
John N Sarah tell ya
Just what they think
And they’re not gonna blink
And they’re gonna fix this country
Cause they’re just like you N ole Hank
Yes John is a maverick
And Sarah fixed Alaska’s broken condition
They’re gonna go just fine
We’re headed for better times
It’s a McCain – Palin tradition

I am very proud of America’s name
But no society is perfect
And we have had our stains
If I’m down at the coffee shop and
Somebody wants to give our flag friction
We say please move on
Cause we’re standing strong
That’s an old John McCain tradition

[CHORUS]

Some are bound to tell you I’m
Preaching to the choir
And that is very true
And we are going even higher
Like a mama bear in Idaho
She’ll protect your family’s condition
If you mess with her cubs
She’s gonna take of the gloves
It’s an American female tradition

[CHORUS]

Yo, Bocephus – what about your penchant for choking teenage girls who fail to succumb to your time tested pickup line, “I’m Hank Williams Jr., bitch!” – is that also a tradition?

Filed under Power & Politics, Schadenfreude Tagged with , ,

PRESIDENT CHENEY

October 3, 2008 1 Comment

cheney

Hear us out.

While it now seems very likely that Obama wins the election going away, let’s just hypothesize that McCain makes a huge comeback. Stranger things have happened in this weird election. McCain somehow makes a crazy resurgence and wins almost all the battlegrounds.

In addition to the 185 electoral votes he’s still hanging onto (per electoral-vote.com), Johnny Mac, fueled by Romo supplements, takes wins in:

NEVADA 5
COLORADO 9
FLORIDA 27
NORTH CAROLINA 15
VIRGINIA 13
NEW HAMPSHIRE 4

Somehow captures WISCONSIN (10) with a huge push from Sarah Palin…

and…
scores the one stray electoral vote in one congressional district in Maine that the McCain campaign just announced its intention to go after…

269 – 269 tie.

OK, so then as everybody knows, the election goes to the House, where the Democrats will have a commanding majority and Obama wins. Right?

Twelfth Amendment sez:

But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice.

And as Charlie Cook wrote today, 26 state delegations is no cakewalk for Obama:

We obviously don’t know the makeup of the 111th Congress, but we do know that Democrats now control 27 delegations, Republicans have 21, and two are evenly divided. So I asked my colleague, David Wasserman, the House editor of The Cook Political Report, to game out what would happen if the election were thrown into the House. He concluded that it might not be easy to reach 26 votes, given that a lot of Democrats serve districts with a long history of supporting the Republican presidential nominee. Would North Dakota and South Dakota’s at-large Democratic representatives — Earl Pomeroy and Stephanie Herseth Sandlin — vote with their electorate or their party? Although Obama is competitive in North Dakota, he is still likely to come up a bit short and has virtually no chance of winning in South Dakota. In her 2004 campaign, Herseth Sandlin indicated that she would be open to voting for the Republican nominee — President Bush in that case — in the event of a tie in the Electoral College…

Wasserman argues that having to decide the presidential contest would put plenty of House delegations in uncomfortable positions. For example, if Democrat Ethan Berkowitz were to unseat longtime GOP Rep. Don Young in Alaska’s only House seat, Berkowitz would almost certainly seal his own defeat in 2010 if he stuck with his party and voted against a GOP ticket including the state’s popular governor. GOP Rep. Michael Castle, who represents Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden as Delaware’s only representative, would face the same choice.

And, if Democrats were to clinch a delegation majority in Arizona by protecting both of their vulnerable seats and picking off an open seat in the northern part of the state, five Democrats would have to choose between voting for Obama and voting for their state’s candidate and choice for president, John McCain.

There is no way to anticipate how members would weigh considerations such as the outcome of their state’s vote or the national popular vote. But for Obama, winning the support of 26 House delegations could be harder than it sounds. For one thing, four of the toss-up states in this scenario have even-numbered House delegations, meaning that intra-delegation deadlocks could reduce the number of states available to reach the magic number 26.

OK…so what happens if they are deadlocked at 25? The Twelfth Amendment continues:

And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.[1]

The Amendment then goes on to describe how the Vice-President is chosen, which could mean that this newly selected Vice-President would then serve as President. However, it does not prescribe for the selection of a new Vice-President in this instance, which seems curious. Could this mean that the current Vice-President would then serve a term as President?!?!?!

Given the stakes involved, the lack of precedent, and the series of bruising deadlocks that would lead to this scenario…is it such a stretch to see this going to the Supreme Court? And what will we find here – an even more conservative, Republican court than the one that came up with the very controversial Bush vs. Gore decision!

Ladies and Gentlemen, President Cheney. Dick Cheney.

And Palin wins one extra state delegation, becoming VP!

You’re so screwed Iran!!!

Filed under Power & Politics Tagged with , , ,

McCain and Romanowski Share Needles

October 2, 2008 Leave a comment

John McCain is taking “herbal supplements” created by BILL ROMANOWSKI.

The NY DAILY NEWS reports:

Campaign reps for Sen. John McCain obtained an herbal supplement touted to enhance memory and keep energy levels up for the candidate before his joust with Sen. Barack Obama, a source tells us. Four-time Super Bowl champ Bill Romanowski, whose company Nutrition53 produces the capsule Neuro1, said: “I won’t confirm or deny that Sen. McCain is using our product, but it’s phenomenal for any person with stress and an overwhelming travel schedule.”

For those of you who don’t know about Romanowski, over to you, Shutdown Corner blog:

Throughout his stellar NFL career, linebacker Bill Romanowski was known for his durability, intensity, insanity, violence, “vitamin” use, and occasionally, racism.

He played 243 consecutive games, right up to the age of 36, despite being a very physical player who played at a very physical position. He was widely regarded as a dirty player, after he kicked Larry Centers in the head, spit in the face of JJ Stokes, and ended the career of teammate Marcus Williams after destroying his orbital bone with a sucker punch in practice. He traveled with a giant tackle box that contained over 500 pills on any given day. A teammate once quoted him as saying that he had to take all the supplements in order to keep up with the league’s African-American players, only he didn’t use the word “African-American,” he used a hurtful word that starts with ‘n’. He was accused of using the same word when he spit on JJ Stokes, too. Oh, and after his career, he admitted steroid abuse.

Obama may have taken money from Tony Rezko, but John McCain took pills from Bill Romanowski. I know which one I find more disturbing.

[SHUTDOWN CORNER blog via DEADSPIN]

Filed under Power & Politics, Sports Tagged with ,

McCain Licks His Lip Eerily Often

September 30, 2008 Leave a comment

This is wicked weird. McCain licked his upper lip 70 times during the debate. Watch in slow-motion.

Colbert was all over this, likening McCain unto a lizard…

Sean Quinn over at 538 has an interesting theory…though we have no idea how much credence to give this hypothesis.

What can we conclude from this? I’m not a trained psychologist, but I have used observation of this particular tell in the past to my financial advantage. Usually when I’m observing two players are in a hand against each other, one decides to make a laydown, and the other tongue juts when that happens, I’ll mentally capture their entire body language during the hand in my memory bank, and when I see it again, I’ll assign greater likelihood that the opponent is bluffing. I’ve profited from this tell.

Does that mean McCain is getting away with something he knows he shouldn’t? Not necessarily — he could be excited to be scoring points — but Navarro’s long FBI experience tells us this unconscious reptile-brain mimic is in that ballpark. Perhaps trained body language experts will see the clips and make more definitive conclusions about what McCain is doing here…

Or he could just have a really hilarious tic and it could mean nothing.

Filed under Power & Politics, Smiles Tagged with ,

Do not cross Letterman

September 26, 2008 Leave a comment

Letterman gets annoyed when McCain blows off his show to “race back to Washington,” and then busts him getting makeup put on before an interview with Katie Couric using a live, internal CBS feed.


This video just gets better as it goes along.

“It’s like we just caught him getting a manicure.”

I can’t imagine how pissed McCain is gonna be about this. From an obviously biased source, here’s the top ten outbursts of McCain’s political career.

Filed under Power & Politics, Smiles Tagged with ,

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