“Civilization” by Marco Brambilla [Facemelters]

This past summer I happened to be in The Standard Hotel in NYC. There’s a lot to peep in that unique building — crazy interior design in the lobby, the well-appointed (if tiny) rooms overlooking the High Line, the shabby-chic hallways, the attractive staff, and the notorious Boom Boom Room. But my favorite part was the elevators, which featured an insanely cool Hieronymous Bosch-like video installation called Civilization.

This work, created by artist Marco Brambilla in collaboration with Toronto production company CRUSH, composites hundreds of images from movie footage, stock footages, and original film clips to create a journey from hell to heaven. You move up and down in this video mural as the elevator rises and descends. It’s frickin’ awesome, trust.

A few screengrabs for the peeps:

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Lisa Falcone Will Turn You Straight

Today brings news of a delightful lawsuit being filed by a disgruntled former employee of Manhattan billionaire Philip Falcone and his wife, the extravagant, luscious Lisa.

The Falcones have used their immense hedge fund wealth to become major players on the NYC social scene, but along the way they’ve garnered both good and bad publicity. This latest story is certainly the most unfavorable they’ve seen to date. While it’s too early to say how legit the employee’s claims are, it’s definitely not premature to announce that these people are hugely entertaining! Move over, Countess de Lesseps, because you’re about to be out-classed.

Philip heads Harbinger Capital Partners, a hedge fund with major stakes in the New York Times company and a variety of satellite operators. He bet big against subprime mortgages and made a staggering amount of money when the market collapsed. Hooray!

His wife grew up in Spanish Harlem, raised by a single mother on welfare — they met in 1992 when she was a fashion model/waitress and he was a young junk bond trader. Today, he’s one of the 300 richest people in the world, which has redounded to the benefit of Lisa’s ambitions to influence the fashion, culture and society of New York City. Together, they purchased the city’s foremost sex mansion.

However, according to their former house manager, they are also homophobic sex-harassers who won’t leave a gay man be.

The best source for background on Lisa Falcone is a fairly glowing profile in the New York Times that somehow fails to mention that her husband owns a huge piece of the company.

Here’s the strangest passage, in which the exuberant Lisa just can’t help but make a scene by throwing money around at a gala event…

Who is that woman and what is she doing?

That is what seemed to be going through the minds of many guests at a gala dinner in early June atop the High Line, the elevated downtown railway that has been transformed into a landscaped esplanade.

The long, elegantly decorated tables were packed with luminaries of the New York social circuit, including Oscar de la Renta, Martha Stewart, Harvey Weinstein and Jerry Seinfeld.

Joshua David, a founder of Friends of the High Line, which had saved the structure from demolition and spearheaded its revival, had just announced a $10 million challenge grant to the project from the media mogul Barry Diller and his wife, the fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg, prompting a standing ovation. Suddenly, a leggy brunette in a cropped bob, flouncy Roberto Cavalli minidress and slingback, peep-toe heels by Christian Louboutin (who was in attendance) rose from her seat, approached Mr. David in the middle of his remarks, whispered in his ear and took over the microphone.

She was Lisa Maria Falcone, she said, and she and her husband, Philip A. Falcone, were so excited about the High Line and so moved by Mr. Diller and Ms. von Furstenberg’s gift that they decided to match it.

If that isn’t the work of a Grade-A Upstager, I don’t know what is.

DVF played it cool, but you just know she’s up in her weird penthouse buckyball plotting revenge on Lisa Falcone.

Arts institutions around the city took notice of Mrs. Falcone’s impulsive generosity, and as Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan put it, “suddenly recognized Lisa’s unique insight into, you know, culture.”

When City Ballet asked her to be on the board last June, Ms. Falcone said she asked: “‘Why me? Do you really want me on the board? Is it about my husband or is it me?’”

Peter Martins, City Ballet’s ballet master in chief, said Ms. Falcone had brought a breath of fresh air to the board. “She’s unlike anybody else,” he said. “She is young, generous, has lots of ideas.”

I’m totally sure that the Ballet honchos were sitting around trying to decide who to invite to their board, they all said “You know who is a complete ballet GENIUS? Wacky hedge fund wife Lisa Falcone! I heard her husband is wicked rich but that’s no concern of ours.”

The Falcones next made headlines with their purchase of Penthouse founder Bob Guccione’s sex mansion in the East 60s.

Let’s just say this was a very special residence; this money quote from the real estate agent tasked with selling it sums it up perfectly.

Speaking about features like the first floor’s massive, shimmering Roman-style pool, she said: “It’s odd to talk about houses like this, but that house had an odd energy to it.” So, were experts brought in to remedy Mr. Guccione’s energy? “Certainly… I hired two different feng shui people to look at it, and we had quite a few clearings on it. But that never stopped people from having odd feelings about it. Whenever people brought in children, they were ready to leave.”

The house featured honest-to-God 100% marble toilets:

To say nothing of its unparalleled collection of many-titted sculptures:

Unfortunately, this cultural landmark was promptly slated for destruction by the Falcones, who decided to gut it completely and rebuild from scratch.

For shame!! How dare they desecrate Guccione’s Caligulan perfection?

In an email to Gawker, Philip Falcone protested that he’s merely restoring the mansion to its original greatness, running some game about bringing the 1890s back. I ask you, would you rather see the 1890s brought back — or SEXY brought back? I think that question answers itself.

Then again, when you are married to Lisa Falcone, you bring sexy back every damn day.

Thus far the only real scandal associated with the colorful Falcones has been Gawker’s accusation that she draped her tittay balls around David Schwimmer in the movie “Breast Men,” but that proved to be a specious claim.

However, the accusations hitting the tabloids today are both explosive and juicy, like the time Rudy Huxtable and her fat white friend forgot to put the lid on the blender.

When it comes to tawdry Manhattan scandals, you need to go to the New York Post first:

A filthy rich Upper East Side couple treated their gay hired help like dirt, court papers charge.

In the Manhattan Supreme Court discrimination suit, William Gamble says billionaire Philip Falcone’s wife Lisa Maria subjected him to homophobic comments, repeatedly hit on him and struck him when he rebuffed her advances.

The couple also made Gamble work in a former pig-sty – literally. The suit says the previous occupant of Gamble’s office was the family’s pet pig, Wilbur, who was moved into more luxurious accommodations to make room for the help.

NY Magazine’s Daily Intel blog reports that Gamble ran into trouble the moment he started working for the Falcones, because he committed the twin crimes of gaiety and hotness.

Philip and Lisa Falcone will not abide it when you flaunt the twin crimes!

Upon his hiring to run the Falcones’ several houses, William Gamble was asked by Philip whether he was gay. When he said yes, this apparently sent both Falcones into a mad sexual shame spiral. “Falcone thereafter saw fit to utter homophobic comments directed at gay people in general and [Gamble] in particular,” the lawsuit claims…

Falcone’s wife couldn’t handle Gamble’s beauty any better, Gamble claims: According to the suit, she told him his “demeanor did not live up to her idea of what a stereotypical gay man should be, as [he] was not ‘effeminate’ enough.”

She teased him on a vacation for wearing bathing suits that weren’t skimpy enough, and then once, when she was drunk, “a visibly inebriated Falcone confronted and assaulted” Gamble, “forcibly pushing her hand down his pants to grab his genitals,” the suit says, as reported by the Post. “When rebuffed, Falcone struck [Gamble] three times with her hand forcefully enough to leave deep bruises on his abdomen.”

Quoting the terrifying straight woman from all gay men’s dreams, Lisa Maria then allegedly told Gamble “all he required was ‘a good fuck’ in order to change him into a heterosexual.” When the gang returned to New York, Gamble claims things never went back to normal. At one point, Gamble says, Lisa Maria hissed at him: “If you weren’t so beautiful, you wouldn’t be here.”

Lisa Falcone is used to getting her way, and you’d better play along like a docile ballet company unless you want to get your nuts squoze…

The Daily News piles on:

His brief stint with the couple came to an end shortly after a March 2008 trip to St. Barts, when Lisa Maria Falcone allegedly suggested that he don a skimpier swimsuit and mused that strangers might think he was her boytoy.

“She treated him like a barnyard animal,” said lawyer Jack Tuckner of Tuckner, Sipser, Weinstock & Sipser.

For their part, the Falcones vehemently deny the charges leveled against them. They call Gamble a money-grubbing liar who’s still bitter about getting fired.

Furthermore, they allege that he’s a fruitacious pansy with WAY too conservative taste in beachwear who might learn a thing or two if he would just loosen up and boof a cougar.

Lisa Falcone refused to reveal her age to the Times, saying she wants to be an example to young people. So take heed, young billionheiresses!

When you hire a gay guy to work for you, don’t treat him like your own personal Stanford Blatch, ie. with respect and love. Instead, sexually harass the shit out of him and you too can live in a STD-ridden sex mansion.

It’s the American Dream that every little girl in Spanish Harlem clings to. For one, it came true.

UPDATE: All the Lisa Falcone aficionados out there should not miss the profile in BusinessWeek by the genius writer Alexandra Wolfe. It’s a seriously hilarious read.

I’ll tantalize you with the opening paragraphs:

Lisa Falcone is sitting at the head of a conference table, rapping to music by Swizz Beatz and waving her tanned arms above her head. She’s meeting with the two employees of her fledgling company, Everest Entertainment. Just outside the room, her husband, Philip Falcone, is running his $9 billion hedge fund, Harbinger Capital, but that doesn’t hold her back. She produced the song and sings along as it blasts from iPod speakers on the table: “Come on bitches, get your hands in the air, ugly bitches too, we don’t care!”

Harbinger analysts walking by barely look up at Lisa, 41, who is striking in a low-cut leather dress and a huge diamond cross pendant. They know she’s the boss’s wife. Harbinger’s young, blond British receptionist brings a tray with a mug of green tea for Lisa, who likes to point out that the space is as much hers as her husband’s. “This is our office,” she says. “Eighteen years and no prenup means family office.”

Hahahaha. This picture is also a gem:

A Tale of Two Mayors

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Elections were held in New York City and Boston yesterday, and both cities re-elected their mayors to new terms.

Yet the true results of these elections were as different as the cities themselves.

In Boston, Mayor Tom Menino won a record-setting fifth consecutive term in office, defeating challenger City Councilor Michael Flaherty by 57% to 42%.

In NYC, Mayor Michael Bloomberg won a third term, but by a narrow margin, defeating insurgent William C. Thompson by 51% to 47%.

Boston’s Menino is being called “Mayor for life” this morning, while observers are reacting with shock that New York’s Bloomberg barely got himself back into office, despite high approval ratings and a staggering advantage in campaign cash.

Both men have come a long way from their childhoods in Boston — Bloomberg left town to become one of the richest men in New York City and the successor to Rudy Giuliani, while Menino has never strayed from his enclave of Hyde Park, and slowly, gradually amassed a iron grip over the city of his birth.

Menino cruised where B-berg struggled yesterday because he knew something that the Wall Street billionaire didn’t – In politics, dogged incumbancy is an unstoppable strategy for maintaining a hold on power.

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Meet me at the top of the Empire State Building…and bring a solar panel

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ROTI’s official LEED expert, GoGoMrPoPo, submitted this great news to our inbox this morning.

The Empire State Building will soon be a lot more energy efficient: A series of green renovations were announced for the iconic New York City skyscraper that reduce its energy usage by 40%.

Work has already begun on the $20 million retrofit, which is being done as a joint project involving the Clinton Climate Initiative, Rocky Mountain Institute, Johnson Controls, and Jones Lang LaSalle, and is part of a greater $500 million in planned renovations. Building systems work is expected to be completed in 2010, with work in tenant spaces finished be the end of 2013. At least half of the energy savings should be realized by work completed within the first 18 months of the project.

Since full one quarter of NYC’s GHG emissions are the responsibility of commercial buildings, EarthTech asks, “What took so long?” for the tallest skyscraper to climb onboard the energy efficiency/GHG mitigation express.

But as a very informative post at Green Buildings explains, the project doesn’t simply seek to achieve a marginal increase in efficiency, or a fractional decrease in GHG emissions.

Instead of a dog-and-pony show in the name of “being green,” the Empire State Building is looking for MAXIMUM efficiency improvements across the board.

In a few years, one of the most famous buildings in America could be rated LEED Gold:

The major element that sets it apart is its approach to achieving energy efficiency…

Instead of pursuing incremental improvements, the project partners asked themselves “How can we do this differently to achieve a different outcome … what would be the way to achieve maximum efficiency,” Campbell said.

“The idea was,” Nesler said, “How can we make the investment smarter?”

The result, Nesler and Campbell said, was a series of innovations that were developed for the Empire State Building efficiency upgrade but can be applied to other major commercial buildings.

The first group of innovations involve a whole-building approach to data collection, analysis, achieved and projected energy performance, and evaluation of potential improvements (60 measures were examined) based on the amount of carbon reduction and financial returns.

The second innovation involves providing tenants as well as the building owner with incentives to further efficiency efforts. In the Empire State Building, the owner and the occupants each account for half energy savings. The building owner benefits by realizing the savings made possible by the retrofit investment. And to better engage the occupants, a web-based tenant energy management system is being installed to measure energy at a floor level. The tool is designed to provide tenants with the data and advice to help them manage their energy use. In addition, several “green pre-built” suites are being constructed in the building as a models of high-performance, energy efficiency and cost effective office space.

The third leg in the innovation triangle involves the use of a performance contract in the project. Johnson Controls is guaranteeing the energy savings via a performance contract, and such an instrument would be effective in obtaining third-party energy efficiency financing for retrofit projects, Campbell and Nesler noted. Though such financing wasn’t necessary for the Empire State Building project, it could be crucial for retrofit projects undertaken by others.

The ability to replicate their model has been among the guiding principles of the project, Nesler and Campbell said. To that end, the measurement, performance modeling and financial tools and other material developed in the analysis process by the project partners are being made available online for public use[.]

This three-leg approach, as Green Buildings describes it, ought to be tremendously successful because it allows all the stakeholders to buy in to the project…

This plan works for owner Anthony Malkin (of Wein & Malkin) because it promises to demonstrate holistic improvements that will help reduce GHG emissions and energy expenses for the company’s flagship property. Malkin himself spearheaded this effort, so you know (a) the owners are very much on board and (b) this is probably great for the building’s bottom line.

Giving tenants access to energy-efficiency results is a brilliant move. Once tenants realize that the steps they take to reduce energy use have a very real effect – and they can see the results online right away – they will be spurred to take further steps in service of the GHG-reduction goal.

Finally, it’s encouraging to see that the project team itself is all-in on this one – tying its compensation to the results of the project. This is evidence of the team’s faith in the project and a great model for future energy-efficiency projects, in that it makes these efforts a demonstrably good investment.

After reviewing more than sixty options, the project decided to attack inefficiency using eight major strategies:

1. Window Light Retrofit: Refurbishment of approximately 6,500 thermopane glass windows, using existing glass and sashes to create triple-glazed insulated panels with new components that dramatically reduce both summer heat load and winter heat loss.
2. Radiator Insulation Retrofit: Added insulation behind radiators to reduce heat loss and more efficiently heat the building perimeter.
3. Tenant Lighting, Daylighting and Plug Upgrades: Introduction of improved lighting designs, daylighting controls, and plug load occupancy sensors in common areas and tenant spaces to reduce electricity costs and cooling loads.
4. Air Handler Replacements: Replacement of air handling units with variable frequency drive fans to allow increased energy efficiency in operation while improving comfort for individual tenants.
5. Chiller Plant Retrofit: Reuse of existing chiller shells while removing and replacing “guts” to improve chiller efficiency and controllability, including the introduction of variable frequency drives.
6. Whole-Building Control System Upgrade: Upgrade of existing building control system to optimize HVAC operation as well as provide more detailed sub-metering information.
7. Ventilation Control Upgrade: Introduction of demand control ventilation in occupied spaces to improve air quality and reduce energy required to condition outside air.
8. Tenant Energy Management Systems: Introduction of individualized, web-based power usage systems for each tenant to allow more efficient management of power usage.

Unless you’re a thermopane window junkie or an HVAC engineer, the TEMS (#8) is undoubtedly the sexiest of these items.

We always turn directly to the handy bar-chart on our ROTI headquarters electric bill to see how we did in conserving energy each month…

Now Empire State Building tenants will have a web-based interface that will (hopefully) enable them to drill down and see the fruits of their conservation efforts. Thumbs up.

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All this said, we do have a bone to pick with an incredibly annoying blog post by Johnson Controls’ Iain Campbell, boasting about his company’s big contract and chalking it up to his belief in Eastern philosophy:

I believe in karma. What was announced today must be karma.

To understand, rewind to almost exactly 79 years ago — March 1930. It was one this country’s most economically depressing times. Business was in shambles and consumer confidence was waning. Two business titans got together as sort of a competition and to help restore confidence and strength in America. Walter Chrysler (Chrysler Corp.) and John Jakob Raskob (creator of General Motors) decided to see who could build the tallest building, and the Empire State Building in New York came into existence.

Fast forward and our world is facing some economic challenges, our automotive industry is struggling and we consumer confidence is waning. So what else would we do but something similar in scope to what was done 79 years ago.

[...]

Karma. Just like 79 years ago there was a drive to do something good during bad times…

And we’re starting with what is certainly one of the most recognizable and beloved buildings anywhere – the building named after the great state that it calls home: the Empire State Building.

Johnson Controls has always stated that improving energy efficiency is the first and most important step toward achieving sustainability in buildings and homes. Energy efficiency helps control rising energy costs, reduces environmental footprints, and increases the value and competitiveness of buildings.

Karma.

Efficiency now. It’s never been more important.

The idea that making capital investments during a recession equates with “karma” is straight idiotic.

Sure, there’s an argument to be made that building a skyscraper or fighting GHG emissions is a positive thing to do for the world. But that isn’t the motivation behind this project, nor should it have been.

Increasing energy efficiency and reducing GHG emissions isn’t about some touchy-feely Babyface “Change the World” ideology. Acting like this is all about “karma” is childish and makes the project sound frivolous, when it is anything but.

Energy efficiency is critical to the bottom line in business today. When energy costs are high and rising, bleeding energy out your building makes no economic sense!

Moreover, today’s consumers are more environmentally conscious than ever. People want to lease office space in green buildings, and will actually pay more to do so. When you demonstrate that your product or service benefits the environment, it’s a positive thing in the marketplace, especially in a green-conscious city like New York. Ignoring this reality also makes no economic sense!

Responding to the public’s demand for action, regulators in New York and elsewhere are rolling out new GHG regulations every day. Why wantonly spew GHG emissions out your stacks when it will mean a hefty bill from the state? Dropping the ball on energy-efficiency at a time of encroaching regulation makes no economic sense!

That’s even before you consider doomsday scenarios: if GHG emissions have the results that many scientists predict, Manhattan real estate could be seriously imperiled by rising tides! Contributing to a global peril that might put your first floor underwater definitely makes no economic sense!

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Ultimately, Wein & Malkin is not ordering a wholesale efficiency overhaul because they want to build good karma.

They’re doing it because to do otherwise would be bad business.

Hopefully, every other skyscraper in New York will follow suit.

(And maybe toss the work to companies whose principals won’t waste our time with idiotic, self-congratulatory blog posts?)

Dan Meth’s Magnificent Charts

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Dan Meth, a cartoonist, animator, illustrator and web guru, has begun a series of pop-cultural charts that are truly glorious.

Above, please note his first effort, a skillful dissection of the greatest trilogies of our time.

Anyone might quibble with one or two of his ratings, but his list of perfect films among these trilogies seems pretty spot-on to us:

  • The Empire Strikes Back
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • Jaws
  • The Godfather Part II
  • Terminator 2
  • Aliens

The very worst of the bunch are identified as Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Godfather III and Batman & Robin. Deliciously terrible movies all.

That is as good a reason as we need to post this video:

Dan Meth would deserve commendation had he rested with the Trilogy Meter, but no.

He has continued the series and it just keeps getting better.

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Holy crap, that is so TRUE.

Incidentally, the Kitchen/Living Room shows are way, way better than the Living Room/Kitchen shows, in our humble opine.

I guess this means that if you want to have entertaining family, buy a house with the kitchen on the left.

(Assuming that an entire wall of your house was removed and you were viewing it from the outside…)

Now comes some truly groundbreaking aggregations of data…

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Dan notes, “The untapped Williamsburg Hipster sitcom setting is plain to see,” while Cityfile wails, “Greenpoint could really use a sitcom.

Spare us on both counts.

Finally…the masterstroke.

A chart that practically serves as a template for future sitcoms…

Pop-Cultural Chart #4: a work of magical genius.

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(Click here for full size.)

Never before have the openings for legitimately novel (in setting, anyway) television ideas been made so obvious and plain.

Here are a few riffs you LA peeps can run with…

The Oregon Trail (Wednesdays on ABC): Quarterlife coming-of-age dramedy centered around a group of Portland hipsters. When you’ve been told your whole life that you’re special…what if you’re not? Will Garen’s band hit the big time – and what would that mean for his relationship with college sweetheart Julie? And when will Trapper’s stoner antics ever quit? Giggles and tears blend effortlessly in this heartwearming paean to a generation. Theme song by The Shins.

Redstick at Large (Thursdays on NBC): Baton Rouge, LA isn’t a big enough town to contain gregarious ginger LSU offensive lineman Petey O’Brien. When he isn’t making a pancake block to pave the way for the winning touchdown, he’s causing trouble with his absurd pratfalls and irresponsible goofiness. Will Coach Mathis and Petey’s stern tutor Vanessa ever be able to whip him into shape? And will Petey ever win Vanessa’s heart? “My Name Is Earl” meets “Coach.”

Big Sky Country (Tuesdays on CBS): Chuck Freeman (Dean Cain) is a straight-talking cowboy whose family has run a Montana ranch for generations. That was before city-slicker Tucker Dyson (David Hyde Pierce) moved in next door, part of an influx of snooty liberals out to transform the state. The culture clash is bound to be gigglesome as these two opposites clash and reconcile every week! Co-starring Katharine McPhee as Becky, the winsome country singer who wins the heart of both men…

Man, we could do this all damn day. Assuming someone would pay us for it.

Thanks, Dan Meth.

We heartily look forward to more pop-cultural charts!

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