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“Daisy Slapped the Alcohol and Drugs Out Of Latawyna’s Hoof”

I’m pretty sure this isn’t a joke. I shit you not, a book about drug-addicted alcoholic HORSES, aimed at children.

Via PIXIE STIX KIDS PIX via GAWKER. Here’s the link to AMAZON.

We simply must take a look inside this tome.

“No way,” said Daisy and Latoya. “We do not smoke or drink.” Connie started smoking drugs and drinking, and Connie’s sisters also started smoking drugs and drinking; so when Latawnya, the naughty horse, saw Connie smoking drugs and drinking, Latawnya started smoking drugs and drinking too.”

“No, Latawnya, you should not smoke or drink,” Daisy and Latoya said, remembering what their mother and father had told them about drinking and smoking drugs. Then Daisy slapped the alcohol and drugs out of Latawnya’s hoof. Latawnya soon found out that smoking and drinking were not as good or as easy as they looked when Connie was smoking drugs and drinking.

Pixie Stix memorably quips,

Now putting aside the amazing writing for a minute, let’s just meditate on the image of one horse slapping the alcohol and drugs out of another horse’s HOOF. I swear I laughed so hard I cried.

Possibly the best part is the “about the author”:

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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