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Mixed Messages from Hollywood Liberals

So no doubt you’ve seen, or at least heard about, this video of a bunch of Hollywood stars telling you to register to vote…

We are, of course, already registered…at as many polling places as possible. But if we were not registered, this video would make us NOT want to. The fact is, most of these people didn’t go to college and pretend for a living. We don’t recommend letting dullards like these influence your political positions. The video is pretty lame, so once you get the gist of it skip to the very end: the last 20 seconds are worth catching.

Why don’t they just put on their Obama t-shirts. This is a Democratic ad masquerading as a nonpartisan effort. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; it’s pretty clever actually.

Only six of these celebrities remain dear to us and emerge from this lameness intact.

PEOPLE WHOSE VOTE I WANT TO CANCEL OUT
Tobey Maguire – His manner is so irritating.
Demi Moore – Clearly ridiculous.
Eva Longoria – the biggest whore for publicity on the planet. Insufferable.
Usher – Ever since this guy pretentiously wore Clockwork Orange makeup in a video…just no.
Ashton Kutcher – Should be turned over to al-Qaeda
Courteney Cox – Go away.
Ethan Suplee – (a) What are you doing here? (b) Scientologist. They should be disenfranchised
Halle Berry – So annoying
That idiot from “Entourage” – That show is played out!!!
will-i-am – Although he has produced some good stuff – “Hip Hop is Dead” comes to mind….ahhh, we don’t know. We still hate him.
Kiedis – Even in his best years he teetered on the edge of lame. Those years are gone.
Adam Levine – Die…
Giovanni Ribisi – Scientologist. See “Ethan Suplee”

PERHAPS NOT TOTALLY CONDEMNABLE
Leo – the pointman; he’s definitely annoying but he has had his moments in some good movies.
D. Hoffman – Pretty lame these days, but he is a legend and saves the video at the end.
Forest Whittaker – Street Kings was so bad.
Laura Linney – Kind of annoys us now.
Kate Bosworth – Please don’t flail your skeleton arms at us again.
Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon – Meh.
Jamie Foxx – We’re not into his musical career, but he was badass in Miami Vice.
Djimon Hounsou – Whatever
Michelle Trachtenberg – You’re very attractive, but please stop talking.

LET’S FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED
Benicio – He mostly mutters darkly, anyway, and maintains his cred.
Ellen – She’s cool
Sarah Silverman – doing her usual shtick. The Great Schlep still the best 2008-election-related Silverman clip
Jonah Hill – Not nearly as big a star as most of these other people, unless I missed something. But he’s funny in this.
Natalie Portman – You found our soft spot
Amy Adams – Hot and talented ginger…

The cure for this lame video is more Amy Adams!!

Amy Adams!

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

One Response to Mixed Messages from Hollywood Liberals

  1. buzzman says:

    Greets! Really interesting. keep working! Tnx! Saw!

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