Kevin Smith destroys toilet with his girth

Kevin Smith, the director of self-indulgent films like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, has always been a load. But apparently he’s taken self-indulgence to a new level while creating his latest opus, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Seems he’s eaten Seth Rogen…

THE SUPERFICIAL reports that on his blog, Smith admits he’s the fattest he’s ever been – “I’ve porked the f–k out, man” – and they provide photographic evidence that is pretty indisputable:

Look at those shorts!! I think you could fit Elizabeth Banks in either leg of those magnificent trousers!

His astounding tubbiness isn’t just an image issue for Smith. According to IMDB, he is now a liability when allowed anywhere near your bathroom. Headline: “Smith too fat for pal’s toilet.”

Heavyweight moviemaker Kevin Smith is determined to shed the pounds after breaking a toilet.

The Clerks director was playing poker at a friend’s Los Angeles DVD and comic book store when he was taken short and excused himself.

But when he saw the toilet bowl, which jutted out from a wall, he feared the worst – and the worst happened.

Red-faced Smith recalls, “That kind of toilet, with no base, is no friend to a fat man.”

And when he sat on the lavatory, it groaned and creaked and then came away from the wall.

“The contents of the bowl was dangerously (rocking in the bowl). I’m trapped, I’m panicked and I hear somebody, like, on the other side of the door going, ‘Everything Ok in there?’

“I’ve gotta throw myself off the toilet… and I do it and I hit the door.”

Eventually, his pal came to see what the commotion was: “I just point to the bowl and he looks at it and looks at the terror in my face and he realises we have a business relationship together and he goes, ‘Nobody ever needs to know about this.’

“That was the moment, where I was like, ‘I got to lose some weight.’ I broke the porcelain in half.”

One commenter on The Superficial shares this story.

As a really don’t know this guy, I won’t malign his character. I will say this though. I was in a restaurant on Sunset just west of Fairfax two years ago. The place is called “The Griddle”. He and his wife were sitting across from us. One of the grossest displays ever. It was a good 90 degress outside. He proceeded to order (for himself) a bowl of chili and a stack of Oreo pancakes.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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