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“I Robs Drug Dealers.”

The holidays are approaching…but in these dire financial times, many of us don’t have the cash to blow on our sweeties and main squeezes this year.

Don’t worry, ROTI has got the situation all figured out. Instead of paying retail prices for jewelry at the mall, you gotta get in on the North Carolina Department of Administration’s State Surplus Property Auction!

Almost two hundred items will be up for bid, from rings to bracelets to necklaces and top-quality watches, and all at a discount price.

How is this possible? Because everything in the auction was seized from drug dealers:

RALEIGH, N.C. – If you’re in the market for a diamond-studded gold gorilla pendant, the North Carolina Department of Revenue may have just what you’re looking for — thanks to busted drug dealers.

The department hopes to auction hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry — including a $38,000 watch and a $23,000 gold pendant depicting Jesus — confiscated during drug busts over the past year by the department’s unauthorized substances division.

Necklaces, rings and bracelets will be available alongside more unique items, such as a $29,500 Jacob & Co. five time zone watch with a face of sparkling yellow, pink and blue stones forming the continents on a world map. A silver-colored men’s Breitling 1884 chronometre watch is listed at $38,000.

The diamond gorilla has a stone missing, but it’s still appraised at $21,600.

“You’d be surprised who buys this stuff,” Department of Revenue spokeswoman Kim Brooks said Monday.

New owners won’t get the stories behind the jewelry, though some collectors have bought pieces because they knew their history.

The public auction, scheduled for Thursday at the State Fairgrounds in Raleigh, will be the first of its kind in nine years.

Law enforcement agencies pick up cars, boats and other items, too, but usually everything is sold through a sealed bid process. This year, enough jewelry was confiscated to put together a public auction, Brooks said.

“We felt we had enough items that would be of interest to folks that might generate a little more money,” she said.

The seized pieces often find new homes with husbands shopping for their wives or jewelers looking for merchandise to sell. Some are melted down.

What?!? Melted down? We might have to go to this auction ourselves, just to be sure nothing melty happens to the $23,000 Jesus.

jesus

Here are some other choice items formerly sported by North Carolina rubber band men.

This is obviously the deal of the season! What woman WOULDN’T be thrilled to know that their new tennis bracelet was previously donned by a Raleigh Donette?

See you on Thursday!

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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