Incredibly, this douche is still around

Remember Brandon Davis?

The fat, greasy dude who gave a whole new meaning to the phrase “oil heir”? The gingerist who called Lohan “fire crotch”? The one-man ad campaign for the inheritance tax?

Davis (at right) and Scott Storch at Esquire magazine’s “Biggest Douches of 2008” awards.

PAGE SIX is running a schadenfreude-inducing item on B. Dave this morning. Apparently he’s gone from Paris Hilton sidekick to useless mooch and white collar criminal…

BRANDON (“Greasy Bear”) Davis‘ well-documented cash-flow problems just got worse.

The sweaty-palmed oil heir was recently banned from a high-end underground casino in West Hollywood for abusing credit privileges and showing up “zonked out of his mind,” a source close to Davis tells Page Six.

“He would consistently show up behaving erratically and make lengthy trips to the bathroom,” says the source, an investment banker who’s a regular patron of the gambling den where the minimum buy-in is $5,000. “Finally, management told him he was no longer welcome.”

It’s just the latest in a string of credit problems for Davis, who friends say has turned into a “professional, high-end couch surfer” after reportedly being cut off by his parents.

Back in September, Page Six reported that Davis rang up $110,000 in charges on a credit card he stole from Carnegie Mellon heir Matthew Mellon, $75,000 on cards he swiped from art dealer Andy Valmorbida, and an additional $100,000 on the bookie account of a student friend.

Davis is fond of telling people he makes money by dealing art. But’s Mark Ebner reports in his upcoming tome, “Six Degrees of Paris Hilton,” that his “dealing” mainly entails buying paintings from LA galleries and then reselling them to his family at a huge mark-up.

The book also claims that Davis sells stories about his friends to the tabloids and still owes a former Vegas bookie $400,000.

Writes Ebner: “Given the financial sector’s recent precipitous fall from grace, is there any better symbol of our era than a reckless sybarite who’s addicted to borrowed money?” Davis no longer has reps and could not be reached.

He no longer has reps?!?! In Hollywoodland, that’s tantamount to having your utilities disconnected!

Attention unnamed Vegas bookie: B. Davis appears to be becoming more and more insolvent by the day, so we wouldn’t recommend patiently waiting for payment.

You COULD shake him down for money, but you’re probably just going to find some pocket change and a few coupons for Round Table Pizza.

Here’s a better idea: off this guy and sell his blubber to the Japanese!

Thanks to the pesky meddling of Hayden P. and the Whale Warriors, premium fat is selling for pretty high prices in Asian markets these days.

This land whale is worth more dead than alive.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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