Aggreived Japanese retiree gets stabby


Yo – if by any chance you worked on the botched computerization of Japan’s pension records in the 1980s, you need to watch your ass.

Someone out there is looking to cut you!

The WAPO reports that three people have been attacked by an unknown assailant, and there’s only one obvious link: government bungling two decades ago…

TOKYO, Nov. 19 — Bureaucrats here have infuriated the Japanese public by losing millions of government pension records. This week, someone with a knife and a willingness to kill appears to be hunting them down.

Riddled with stab wounds, the bodies of Takehiko Yamaguchi, 66, and his wife, Michiko, 61, were found Tuesday morning in their home in a Tokyo suburb. Takehiko Yamaguchi was head of the Health and Welfare Ministry’s pension division when the national pension system underwent a major record-keeping overhaul in 1985.

On Tuesday evening, Yasuko Yoshihara, 72, wife of former pension bureaucrat Kenji Yoshihara, 76, was stabbed in the chest by a man who came to her home in Tokyo claiming that he worked for a parcel delivery service, police said.

En route to a hospital, she said that her husband, who was not at home when the attack occurred, “may be a target and is in danger,” according to Japanese news media. Kenji Yoshihara’s tenure as head of the Social Insurance Agency in the mid-1980s coincided with the botched computerization of Japan’s pension records.

Millions of those records have since gone missing, outraging the elderly and contributing to the resignations of two prime ministers.

The mess continues, and many Japanese fear they might not receive full pension benefits when they retire.

The homes where the knife attacks occurred are about six miles apart. After each assault, a man fled on foot, leaving bloody footprints that police are investigating for a match.

Authorities said the attacks shared at least three elements: the backgrounds of the victims or intended victims; the use of a knife; and the place where the knifings occurred. In both houses, the victims were stabbed near the front door.

“We should never allow the culprit to commit a third crime, if the two cases are related,” said Tsuyoshi Yoneda, chief of the National Police Agency’s criminal bureau.

Police announced a nationwide alert for attacks against current and former government officials involved in welfare issues, and security at what is now the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry was boosted.

Prime Minister Taro Aso said Wednesday there is no conclusive evidence that the two attacks are related. Still, Aso will cancel his regular morning walk for the time being.

Setting aside the quite serious fact that elderly people are being attacked, even if their only crime was being married to a guy who screwed up at his job in the 80s; this is yet another instance that proves Japan is the world champion of wacky news.

Why, just in recent memory there’s the 74-year-old male porn star; the woman charged with online homicide; the dude who burned down a hotel because he couldn’t bear to tell his fiancee-mistress he was already married; and the Air Force officer caught naked while shopping for women’s underwear.

From the sound of this report, the pension-bureaucrat-killer is leaving way too much evidence at the crime scenes and running around in bloody shoes, so no doubt he’ll be nabbed soon.

But while his killing spree is likely to end in the near term, Japan’s dominance over wacky news shall endure forever!

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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