Lisa Madigan: Murderer!!

madigan

We’re never afraid to buck a trend, and here’s one trend we’re freely bucking: the Lisa Madigan love fest.

The Illinois Attorney General is a new face on the national scene, with Hoya credentials and political knowhow, and her efforts to unseat slimy Governor Blago “Rod” Blagojevich have earned her such accolades as the leadoff spot on “Meet the Press” a few Sundays past.

By fighting to get rid of the corrupt Blago, a sleazeball who refers to his hairbrush as “the [nuclear] football”, Madigan is winning a lot of fans across the land.

The NYT even suggested that Madigan might be President someday:

Almost unanimously, the experts say that a successful contender will come from a younger generation than Mrs. Clinton — promising, as Mr. Obama has, to move to a post-boomer era, beyond the old identity politics.

But as fundamental a change as that may be, much else seems unlikely to change.

Mrs. Clinton easily cleared the bar with many voters on her ability to be commander in chief, making it easier for people to see a woman in that role. Still, most people assume that the burden will fall on women to prove toughness — of a certain kind.

Mrs. Clinton seemed to have the most success in the last months, fighting like a mama bear for her cubs. So some people look to women who have earned reputations as tough fighters: Lisa Madigan, a Democrat who is attorney general in Illinois, and mentioned as a possible successor to the embattled governor, Rod Blagojevich.

Madigan’s father is an influential Illinois politico, so naturally fellow dynastic heiress Caroline Kennedy gave Madigan an award for her “public service in the spirit of John F. Kennedy.

cks madigan
Our daddies made us political princesses!!!!

What crap. Would you consider outlawing a delicious, alcoholic energy drink to be public service in the Kennedy tradition??

We certainly don’t.

MillerCoors agreed to stop selling Sparks, a caffeinated alcohol drink as part of an agreement Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan announced Thursday.

As part of the agreement about so-called alcopops, MillerCoors will stop using images that imply power, like the identifying “plus” and “minus” symbols on its can that resemble those on batteries, Madigan said. MillerCoors will also cease marketing campaigns that appeal to underage youth, like its sponsorship of professional air guitarist William Ocean.

Chicago-based MillerCoors denied all allegations but cooperated with the investigation and will reformulate Sparks without caffeine or other stimulants. The company said it would also cease production of all caffeinated alcohol beverages and will not produce any in the future.

“These drinks are extremely dangerous in the hands of young people,” Madigan said in a statement. “They contain substantially more caffeine than coffee or soda and are marketed as a way to ‘power’ your nights by staying awake and drinking more alcohol. This is a completely inappropriate message to send to younger audiences.”

Madigan’s office participated in the investigation, which was led by Maine Attorney General Steve Rowe. The attorneys general of Arizona, California, Connecticut, Idaho, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, and Oklahoma and the city attorney of San Francisco also participated in the settlement.

In June, St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch, following negotiations with Madigan and 10 other states, agreed to withdraw from the alcohol energy drink market and reformulate Tilt and Bud Extra without caffeine or other stimulants.

That’s right – Lisa Madigan killed Sparks.

And she won’t stop until every sweet, sweet blend of booze and stimulants is off the market…

All in the name of “protecting the kids”!!!

Damn you, Lisa Madigan. Damn you and your moralizing ways. You are the most despicable Hoya politician since philandering Hank Hyde.

At least Hank never ripped tasty drinks from our thirsty hands!

RIP, Sparks.

Your sweet boozy nectar will always remain dear to our taste buds, like a phantom limb of tart intoxication…

sparks

Sniff.

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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