We’ve heard of push polls, but this is ridiculous


Once upon a time, prank callers were safely hidden behind a veil of anonymity, allowing a variety of troublemakers to dial for jollies…

Nowadays, Caller ID and the criminalization of particularly obnoxious calls have really put a damper on the process. While this will never dampen our enthusiasm for Bart Simpson’s phone calls to Moe’s or the greatest prank call of all time (“I see OJ, and he looks scared!“), we won’t be picking up the phone to cause mischief anytime soon.

However, some prank callers are still undeterred. Like 50-year-old construction worker John Brady of Staten Island.

He doesn’t just call people up, shriek “Diarrhea!” and hang up. Nope.

He convinces them to maleejreejheej themselves.

Loyal reader Lombardicus sends along this gem from the STATEN ISLAND ADVANCE:

A Staten Island man would pick a name out of the phone book at random, say he was from the “doctor’s” office, and ask the person on the other end of the line to perform a rectal exam over the phone, according to authorities.

And at least one person went along with it.

Authorities say John Brady, 49, a construction worker from the borough’s Oakwood community, convinced a 34-year-old woman to give herself a self examination over the phone in January of 2007.

After the phone call, though, the woman realized Brady “did not represent a medical establishment,” court papers allege.

After an investigation by the Staten Island District Attorney’s NYPD detective squad, Brady was arrested Tuesday and charged with second-degree aggravated harassment.

Brady laid out his prank call strategy in a statement to a detective, court papers allege.

“I would go through the phone book and pick random numbers and make telephone calls,” Brady allegedly said. He’d ask them personal questions about their digestive system, then try to get them to follow his instructions, court papers allege.

Brady had already been arrested in September on aggravated harassment charges in connection with two other telephone calls, one from June 2007 and another from 2008, public records show, but it’s not clear if he’s accused of pulling the same prank during those calls as well.

If convicted at trial of second-degree aggravated harassment, he could face up to a year in jail.

John Brady might seem like the most brazen prank caller around, but that’s probably because you’ve never heard of David Stewart:

On November 30, 2000, the caller persuaded the manager at a McDonald’s in Leitchfield, Kentucky, to remove her own clothes in front of a customer whom the caller said was suspected of sex offenses. The caller promised that undercover officers would burst in and arrest the customer the moment he attempted to molest her, said Detective Lt. Gary Troutman of the Leitchfield Police Department.

Or as the good folks at Wikipedia call it, the “Strip Search Prank Call Scam.

As long as people are stupid enough to fall for this mess, these crazy dudes will keep dialing.

Answer with care.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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