PUTIN verbally bitchslaps Michael Dell

putin medvedev dance

It’s time again to give it up to Vladimir Putin!

Michael Dell asked a wicked condescending question to Putin at the Davos Economic Forum.

It basically boiled down to: I’m astonished that a repressive dictator like yourself would have some of the bright ideas you do, so tell me, how many computers should I sign you up for?

Except he posed as, how can we HELP?

Yo Putin, I’m shocked I agree with you, take my Vista branded computers, please!!

Fortune magazine cringed,

Big mistake. Russia has been allergic to offers of aid from the West ever since hundreds of overpaid consultants arrived in Moscow after the collapse of Communism, in 1991, and proceeded to hand out an array of advice that proved, at times, useless or dangerous.

Putin delivered a rhetorical judo chop.

“The thing is, we don’t need any help!

We aren’t invalids. We don’t have limited mental capacity!

People with disabilities should be helped. Pensioners should be helped.

Developing countries should be helped.”

He then went on a long tirade about how rich countries are stingy, unlike his munificent hand, and how awesome Russia’s computer technology is, because they got internets in Siberia and stuff.


And furthermore, he will have you know that Russian mathematicians are the awesomest, and quite frankly their programmers are pretty kickass too, and even our Indian friends would agree! The audience laughed.

Then Putin turned to Dell with a grin and said “Oh yeah and by the way bitch, we don’t just make hardware like your sorry ass, we make righteous software, which everyone knows is more impressive. Die slow Michael Dell!!!”

That may not be exactly what he said, but it conveys the basic gist.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: