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Dan Meth’s Magnificent Charts

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Dan Meth, a cartoonist, animator, illustrator and web guru, has begun a series of pop-cultural charts that are truly glorious.

Above, please note his first effort, a skillful dissection of the greatest trilogies of our time.

Anyone might quibble with one or two of his ratings, but his list of perfect films among these trilogies seems pretty spot-on to us:

  • The Empire Strikes Back
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • Jaws
  • The Godfather Part II
  • Terminator 2
  • Aliens

The very worst of the bunch are identified as Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Godfather III and Batman & Robin. Deliciously terrible movies all.

That is as good a reason as we need to post this video:

Dan Meth would deserve commendation had he rested with the Trilogy Meter, but no.

He has continued the series and it just keeps getting better.

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Holy crap, that is so TRUE.

Incidentally, the Kitchen/Living Room shows are way, way better than the Living Room/Kitchen shows, in our humble opine.

I guess this means that if you want to have entertaining family, buy a house with the kitchen on the left.

(Assuming that an entire wall of your house was removed and you were viewing it from the outside…)

Now comes some truly groundbreaking aggregations of data…

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Dan notes, “The untapped Williamsburg Hipster sitcom setting is plain to see,” while Cityfile wails, “Greenpoint could really use a sitcom.

Spare us on both counts.

Finally…the masterstroke.

A chart that practically serves as a template for future sitcoms…

Pop-Cultural Chart #4: a work of magical genius.

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(Click here for full size.)

Never before have the openings for legitimately novel (in setting, anyway) television ideas been made so obvious and plain.

Here are a few riffs you LA peeps can run with…

The Oregon Trail (Wednesdays on ABC): Quarterlife coming-of-age dramedy centered around a group of Portland hipsters. When you’ve been told your whole life that you’re special…what if you’re not? Will Garen’s band hit the big time – and what would that mean for his relationship with college sweetheart Julie? And when will Trapper’s stoner antics ever quit? Giggles and tears blend effortlessly in this heartwearming paean to a generation. Theme song by The Shins.

Redstick at Large (Thursdays on NBC): Baton Rouge, LA isn’t a big enough town to contain gregarious ginger LSU offensive lineman Petey O’Brien. When he isn’t making a pancake block to pave the way for the winning touchdown, he’s causing trouble with his absurd pratfalls and irresponsible goofiness. Will Coach Mathis and Petey’s stern tutor Vanessa ever be able to whip him into shape? And will Petey ever win Vanessa’s heart? “My Name Is Earl” meets “Coach.”

Big Sky Country (Tuesdays on CBS): Chuck Freeman (Dean Cain) is a straight-talking cowboy whose family has run a Montana ranch for generations. That was before city-slicker Tucker Dyson (David Hyde Pierce) moved in next door, part of an influx of snooty liberals out to transform the state. The culture clash is bound to be gigglesome as these two opposites clash and reconcile every week! Co-starring Katharine McPhee as Becky, the winsome country singer who wins the heart of both men…

Man, we could do this all damn day. Assuming someone would pay us for it.

Thanks, Dan Meth.

We heartily look forward to more pop-cultural charts!

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

One Response to Dan Meth’s Magnificent Charts

  1. Love these pilot ideas, Alpine.

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