Chuck Sheen, Beacon of 9/11 Truth

crazy sheen

Carlos Erwin Esteves, a/k/a Charlie Sheen, is a well-known whack job and degenerate.

This is a guy who bombed out of Santa Monica High School, accidentally shot Kelly Preston in the arm, and one time became a born-again Christian before relapsing into a life of pill popping, porno and drug abuse.

And then there’s the whores! This dude paid for the services of legendary Spitzer hoe Ashley Alexandra Dupre, among hundreds of other skanks, shelling out thousands to Heidi Fleiss and her fellow pimps.

Ex-wife Denise Richards got a restraining order against him after she alleged that Sheen posted a picture of his erect penis on his online profile.

So naturally, he was chosen by Obama for a very special one-on-one interview to discuss the events of September 11th.

The only catch was, this interview only took place in the delusional mind of Chuck Sheen.

See, Charlie Sheen is a “truther” – one of those lefty loons who thinks the government was either behind 9/11, or knew it was coming and let it happen, in order to take away civil liberties and create a pretext for war.

Some of us might call that putting the cart before the horse…the bad stuff that happened after 9/11 shouldn’t be confused with the pretext for the terrorist attack, especially given the ample background evidence that suggests it was an al-Qaeda plot led by Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Mohammed Atta…

Goddamn it, Sheen has has ENOUGH of the lies!! He’s gonna expose what REALLY happened on that fateful day…through lots of wild conjecture!

Anyway, let’s take a look at his pretend interview with Obama, which he posted to the website of his lunatic friend and fellow conspiracy theorist Alex Jones:

CS – Sir, in the very near future we will be experiencing our first 9/11 anniversary with you as Commander in Chief.

PBO – Yes. A very solemn day for our Nation. A day of reflection and yet a day of historical consciousness as well.

CS – Very much so sir, very much so indeed…. Now; In researching your position regarding the events of 9/11 and the subsequent investigation that followed, am I correct to understand that you fully support and endorse the findings of the commission report otherwise known as the ‘official story’?

PBO – Do I have any reason not to? Given that most of us are presumably in touch with similar evidence.

CS – I really wish that were the case, sir. Are you aware, Mr. President, of the recent stunning revelations that sixty percent of the 9/11 commissioners have publicly stated that the government agreed not to tell the truth about 9/11 and that the Pentagon was engaged in deliberate deception about their response to the attack?

PBO – I am aware of certain “in fighting” during the course of their very thorough and tireless investigative process.

CS – Mr. President, it’s hard to label this type of friction as “in fighting” or make the irresponsible leap to “thorough,” when the evidence I insist you examine regarding 6 of the 10 members are statements of fact.

(At this point one of Obama’s senior aides approaches the President and whispers into his ear. Obama glances quickly at his watch and nods as the aide resumes his post at the doorway, directly behind me.)

PBO – No disrespect Mr. Sheen, but I have to ask; what is it that you seem to be implying with the initial direction of this discussion?

CS – I am not implying anything Mr. President. I am here to present the facts and see what you plan to do with them.

PBO – Let me guess; your ‘facts,’ allegedly supporting these claims are in the folders you brought with you?

CS – Good guess Mr. President.

(I hand the first folder of documents to the President)

CS – Again sir, these are not my opinions or assumptions, this is all a matter of public record, reported through mainstream media, painstakingly fact checked and verified.

I think we all know what was REALLY in that folder…a lovingly assembled collection of erotic services ads cut out from the back of LA WEEKLY.

CS – Mr. President, we cannot move forward with a bottomless warren of unanswered questions surrounding that day and its aftermath.

PBO – I read the official report. Every word every page. Perhaps you should do the same.

CS – I have sir, and so have thousands of family members of the victims, and guess what; they have the same questions I do and probably a lot more. I didn’t lose a loved one on that horrific day Mr. President and neither did you. But since then I, along with millions of other Americans lost something we held true and dear for most of our lives in this great country of ours; we lost our hope.

PBO – And I’d like to believe that I am here to restore that hope. To restore confidence in your leaders, in the system that the voting public chose through a peaceful transfer of power.

(An odd moment of silence between us. Precious time ticking away).


CS – Does it bother you Mr. President that it only took FIVE HOURS for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld after the initial attack to recommend and endorse a full scale offensive against Iraq?

PBO – I am not aware of any such purported claim.

CS – I have the proof Mr. President, along with scores of documents and facts I’d like you to take a look at. Here.

(I hand him another file – much thicker than the first)

PBO – I see you came prepared Charlie.

CS – No other way to show up Mr. President. When in doubt over prepare I always say.

PBO – Now you sound like the First Lady.

CS – That’s quite a compliment sir.

OK, first of all, he said “bottomless warren.” Huh huh…bottomless warren.

Secondly, the fictional exchanges of small talk between Sheen and Obama are priceless. In this fantasy world he’s created for himself, Sheen has Obama saying that he TIVOs “Two and a Half Men” on Air Force One. Above, “Obama” approvingly compares Sheen to Michelle.

Put down the crack pipe, Sheen!

The best part might be when Sheen just totally goes nuts and starts blurting out one bullet point after another in support of his outlandish conspiracy theories.

But first, he builds up to it with this overwrought, dramatic passage:

CS – Interesting angle sir. Nevertheless, Vice President Cheney didn’t stop there. In early 2008, Pulitzer prize winning journalist Seymour Hersh and MSNBC, both reported that Cheney had proposed to the Pentagon an outrageous plan to have the U.S. Navy create fake Iranian patrol boats, to be manned by Navy Seals, who would then stage an attack on US destroyers in the Strait of Hormuz. This event was to be blamed on Iran and used as a pretext for war. Does any of this information worry you Mr. President? Should we just ignore it, until these realities can be dismissed years from now by our children, as ancient history as well?

PBO – Of course this information worries me, yet it’s not nearly as worrisome as you sitting here today suspiciously implying that 9/11 was somehow allowed to happen or even orchestrated from the inside.

CS – Mr. President I am not suspiciously implying anything. I am merely exposing the documents and asking the questions that nobody in power will even look at or acknowledge. And as I stated earlier, I voted for you, I believed in your message of hope and change. Mr. President I have come to you specifically hoping for a change. A change in the perception that our government has not yet made itself open and accountable to the people. These are your words Mr. President not mine. The lives of thousands were brutally cut short and those left behind to suffer their infinite pain are with me today Mr. President. They are with me in spirit and flesh, and the message we carry will not be silenced anymore by media fueled mantras insisting how they are supposed to feel. Deciding for them, for 8 long years, what can be thought, what can be said, what can be asked.

PBO – And I appreciate your passion, I appreciate your conviction. In spite of your concerns, in spite of what your data might or might not reveal, what you and the families must understand and accept is that we are doing everything we can to protect you.

CS – Mr. President , I realize were very short on time, so please allow me to run down a list of bullet points that might illuminate some reasons why we don’t embrace the warm hug of Federal protection.

PBO – We’ve come this far. Fire away.

CS – Please keep in mind Mr. President everything I’m about to say is documented as fact and part of the public record. The information you are holding in your hands chronicles and verifies each and every point.

I love that even in the fantasy world concocted by Sheen, Obama is still obviously exasperated by his crazy sauce. Sheen thinks he’s 9/11 Messiah, but even in his wildest dreams, Obama thinks he’s a fricking loon.

Sheen rattles off twenty reasons that he obviously considers big-time eyebrow-raisers.

Unfortunately, they’re an amalgam of conjecture and repetition…

#13 and #18 are the same: “cell phones didn’t work on planes until technology was developed in 2004!” Actually, that’s bogus. Cell phones don’t work WELL on planes, but they have always worked, especially when the plane is flying low.

#7 and #12 address that old chestnut, WTC Building 7, which truthers claim was destroyed in a controlled demolition as part of an evil plot. Sheen claims as evidence the ASTOUNDING assertion that news reporters announced the building’s collapse shortly before it happened!

There’s NO way they could have jumped the gun on an imminent collapse, as fire ravaged the entire building, after the much larger towers fell. It HAS to be a big conspiracy that involves everyone from Dick Cheney to random reporters for the BBC. They’re all in on it!!

#17: “Top Pentagon officials cancelled their scheduled flights for September 11th on September 10th. San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, following a security warning, cancelled a flight into New York that was scheduled for the morning of 9/11.”

I’m sure this was the only day that government officials canceled flights! PROOF POSITIVE! And that Willie Brown tidbit is MIGHTY suspicious. I’m sure when the government decided to let thousands of our citizens perish, they said to themselves, “Let them all die so our wicked oil war can proceed. But Willie Brown must be spared! Who will lead our nation in sartorial eloquence if he is sacrificed???”

willie brown

I won’t bore you with debunking the others…some of which don’t even require debunking because they prove nothing.

This is the best you got, Chuck Sheen?!

Now for the thrilling conclusion, where a cowardly Obama runs from the room rather than face the klieg light of TRUTH and JUSTICE that Sheen wields.

Eat your heart out, Glenn Beck!

PBO – Well Charlie I can’t say this hasn’t been interesting. As I said earlier you’ve showed up today focused and organized.  Regardless how I feel about the material you’ve presented, I must commend your dedication and zeal. However, our time here is up.

(the President rises from his chair , I do the same).

CS – Mr. President! One more second!

(The President starts towards the door – I follow him quickly step for step).

CS – Mr. President, I implore you based on the evidence you now possess, to use your Executive Power. Prove to us all Sir, that you do, in fact, care. Create a truly comprehensive and open Congressional investigation of 9/11 and its aftermath. The families deserve the truth, the American people and the rest of the free world deserve the truth. Mr. President –

(He pauses. We shake hands).

CS – Make sure you’re on the right side of history.

(The President breaks the handshake).

PBO – I am on the right side of history. Thank you Charlie, my staff and I will be in touch.

(I watch as he strides gracefully out of the room, the truth I provided him held firmly by his side; in the hand of providence.)

Talk about yer flair for the dramatic!

Charlie Sheen says that people try to discredit his truth-spreading by bringing up his misdeeds from 20 years ago, and attacking the messenger, not the message.

The sad fact is that even today, in September 2009, Charlie Sheen is acting like a GD loon and this “interview” proves it.

I wholeheartedly agree with MIT engineering expert Thomas Eagar, who said “These people (in the 9/11 truth movement) use the ‘reverse scientific method.’ They determine what happened, throw out all the data that doesn’t fit their conclusion, and then hail their findings as the only possible conclusion.”

Yo 9/11 Truthers: I know that horrifying events or circumstances that make us feel powerless and afraid are the nectar that lures the honeybees of conspiracy theory. But you guys need to wrap your mind around the fact that the al-Qaeda dudes were responsible for this.

Whatever BS went down afterwards doesn’t constitute proof that it was all a secret plot or scheme. There’s no overwhelming scientific or documentary case to support your whacko claims, so give it a rest already. Maybe you can waste your time investigating Obama’s birth certificate for the next few years?

Then again, a highly scientific and no doubt peer reviewed online poll says 82 percent of Americans agree with Sheen.

Holy crap, case closed!

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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