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Ain’t No Party Like A Windows 7 Party

I’m not sure Microsoft can ever top the titanic lameness of their Songsmith video, but they are not easily deterred from trying.

Their latest bad-vertising effort is so horrible, ROTI couldn’t help but post about it; everywhere we turn, someone is ripping Microsoft’s latest effort.

A friend recently posted this video to Facebook with the following comment:

This is a real video that Microsoft made (now…in the year 2009) to show people how to have Windows 7 parties in their homes.

Presumably, they paid actual money to do this, and I assume had a lot of meetings and discussion about what would make the best video.

Enjoy the fruits of their labor:

Washington Post tech writer Rob Pegoraro tried to explain MSFT’s motivation in an objective manner, but eventually he couldn’t help but start mocking them for their utter tonedeafness.

The idea, as veteran Microsoft reporter Todd Bishop reported earlier this month, is that Windows 7 fans can show off the Windows Vista replacement’s features to friends, in return for which the folks in Redmond will give each host some help organizing the gathering and a free copy of Windows 7. Microsoft signed up an Irvington, N.Y., firm called House Party, which has organized similar marketing campaigns for the likes of Hershey and Gerber, to run the show.

And at some point, somebody at either House Party or Microsoft decided that a YouTube clip could help explain the concept to party organizers.

They apparently didn’t factor in how the video might look to those who have yet to hop on the Win 7 bandwagon.

As you can see below, our four implausibly perky, demographically balanced hosts — standing in a spotless kitchen decorated with red, blue and orange balloons — talk about how “great it is to host a launch party!” that’s really just another social gathering (“in a lot of ways, you’re just throwing a party with Windows 7 as an honored guest!”). They suggest watching some of the other 100 or so YouTube clips for ideas about showing off Windows 7, while one wisely reminds hosts to make sure that the new operating system’s set up a couple of days early: “play with Windows 7 before the party,” he emphasizes.

In addition, they recommend … oh, good grief, I can’t keep describing this with a straight face.

By two minutes into the video, I could only hold my head in my hands, cringing and saying, “No, no, no, this can’t possibly be real!” before giggling helplessly at how high these six minutes and 14 seconds of video ranked on the Unintentional Comedy Scale.

Jason Chen from Gizmodo was aghast:

Holy Steve Ballmer. This set of Launch Party videos are incredible for its nostalgia [value]. No, they’re not old videos; I just thought the whole advertising industry moved past fake setups like this back in the ’90s.

Give it a watch and see. My god. They’re talking about having a party for Windows 7.  And the cast? It looks like a guy, his mom, his sister, and his sister’s rebellious college fling that turned into a long term relationship.

But seriously. You know how you’re watching something that’s so surprising that you can’t believe what you’re seeing that you literally have nothing to add to the visuals? This is it.

It’s like if you took a man from the 1400s and showed him a plasma TV.

ROTI tipster Nafets sent along a collection of scathing critiques, including this slam from the Daily Telegraph:

Four actors of diverse age and ethnic backgrounds plough through corporate messages for six minutes and 14 seconds of toe-curlingly awful fakery in a kitchen set with some plates of food that only Male Computer User (Black Ethnic Group) eats and some balloons to emphasise the key celebration message.

A Telegraph commenter quipped, “What you don’t see, offscreen, is Steve Ballmer holding a gun to the heads of their families…”

Nafets adds, “When Gates was at MS, people looked up to [them], and a lot of cool people were drawn there…now MS seems more dull and off every day. Just a reality denying Ballmer who runs mad when he sees sleek iPhones or hears bad talk about MS.”

Mac software developer Caleb Sasser decided to cut Microsoft down at the knees with this remix of the Windows 7 House Party video…it is glorious.

As Rob Pegoraro aptly summed things up: “That’s probably not the result Microsoft was looking for. But, hey, at least it’s got people talking about Windows 7!”

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About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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