Judge to Birthers: STFU

This is a slightly warmed-over tale, but not much the worse for neglect.

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys the thrashing of crazed conspiracists (for example, Charlie Sheen, 9/11 conspiritard) then you’ve surely heard of Dr. Orly Taitz, queen bee of the birther movement:

There’s a term some use for people like Taitz, and she doesn’t like it. It’s “birther”—or, if you want to be really mean, “birfer.” (The controversy was born on the Internet, so naturally the Internet gave it a goofy name.) While rumors about Obama’s background and citizenship simmered throughout the 2008 presidential campaign, after Election Day, those rumors coalesced into a near-religion for a group of true believers. To Taitz and the unknown number of people who agree with her, Barack Obama isn’t president and probably wasn’t even born in the U.S. Taitz, a Laguna Niguel dentist with a law degree from an online academy, has been awarded a few creative variations on the birther term: “The Queen Bee of Birferstan” is probably the best.

“That’s demeaning,” Taitz says. “I don’t call anybody names.”

This isn’t quite true. She calls Obama a “usurper” and an “arrogant jerk from Africa and Indonesia.” She called a judge an “idiot.” And she calls anyone who stands in her way an “Obama thug.” Taitz has built a sizable following on her blog; in the comments for each post at orlytaitzesq.com, you can read a few more names for people whom Taitz doesn’t like: “traitors,” “Muslims,” “terrorists.”

As anyone who’s followed the birther controversy knows, the major bone of contention is the supposed lack of an American birth certificate for President Obama.

For example, something like this:

In the world of O Rly? Taitz, this is nothing but a “short form” fraud, despite the fact that the Republican governor of Hawaii, among many others, has declared it 100% legitimate.

If only we had some other way to authenticate the birth of Baby Bams in Hawaii about 50 years ago…like, I don’t know, birth announcements in Hawaiian newspapers, preserved on microfilm in libraries for decades?

I believe Jon Stewart said it best when he described the nefarious scheme perpetrated by socialist agents against the USA…it’s the old Kenyan birth-announcement scam.

The oldest trick in the book!

Here is how it goes. You want to destroy America from the inside, but you can‘t, because you‘re a foreigner. So, first, you got to find yourself a good old American willing to reproduce with you.

Then, you have that child on foreign soil, while simultaneously placing the birth announcement for that child in one of our fringe states‘ local newspapers…… your Hawaiis, your Alaskas, your Pennsylvanias.  You heard me.

And then…Hold on.

You wait… until this baby is a middle-aged man.

Now the trap is set. You just sit back and let that child go out and win the election for president of the United States.

Taitz isn’t satisfied by any of this evidence, nor deterred by ridicule, and she’s been on a national crusade to overturn Obama’s election via frivolous lawsuit after frivolous lawsuit.

Her favorite tactic is to find military personnel assigned to serve overseas, and to persuade them to contest their assignments on the grounds that Obama is not the legitimate POTUS.

This vessel of birther madness recently ran aground in the court of Judge Clay D. Land of the US District Court for the Middle District of Georgia.

Judge Land promptly got out the torches and burned the S.S. TAITZ to the waterline.

Now, Judge Land is no liberal squish. He’s a judicially conservative George W. Bush appointee, operating deep in red-state land. He didn’t eviscerate Taitz’ argument because he loves Obama; he ripped it apart because it’s complete and utter crap.

What makes Judge Land’s opinion so entertaining is that he did not merely reject Orly Taitz’ line of reasoning.

He tore it to shreds, openly mocked Taitz, and then warned her that if she ever brought that weak sauce in his presence again, there would be hell to pay!

Counsel has filed numerous lawsuits in various parts of the country seeking a judicial determination as to the President’s legitimacy to hold the office of President. The present action is the second such action filed in this Court in which counsel pursues her “birther claim.” Her modus operandi is to use military officers as parties and have them allege that they should not be required to follow deployment orders because President Obama is not constitutionally qualified to be President. Although counsel has managed to fuel this “birther movement” with her litigation and press conferences, she does not appear to have prevailed on a single claim…

To press her “birther agenda,” Plaintiff’s counsel has filed the present action on behalf of Captain Rhodes. Captain Rhodes entered the Army in March of 2005 and presently serves as a medical doctor. The American taxpayers paid for her third and fourth years of medical school and financially supported her during her subsequent medical internship and residency program. In exchange for this valuable free medical education, Captain Rhodes agreed to serve two years in active service in the Army.  She began that term of active service in July of 2008 and had no concerns about fulfilling her military obligation until she received orders notifying her that she would be deployed to Iraq in September of 2009.

Captain Rhodes does not seek a discharge from the Army; nor does she wish to be relieved entirely from her two year active  service obligation. She has not previously made any official complaints regarding any orders or assignments that she has received, including orders that have been issued since President Obama became Commander in Chief. But she does not want to go to Iraq (or to any other destination where she may be in harm’s way, for that matter). Her “conscientious objections” to serving under the current Commander in Chief apparently can be accommodated as long as she is permitted to remain on American soil.


Using the Mindes factors as an analytical framework, the Court finds that it is not authorized to interfere with Plaintiff’s deployment orders. First, Plaintiff’s challenge to her deployment order is frivolous. She has presented no credible evidence and has made no reliable factual allegations to support her unsubstantiated, conclusory allegations and conjecture that President Obama is ineligible to serve as President of the United States. Instead, she uses her Complaint as a platform for spouting political rhetoric, such as her claims that the President is “an illegal usurper, an unlawful pretender, [and] an unqualified imposter.”

She continues with bare, conclusory allegations that the President is “an alien, possibly even an unnaturalized or even an unadmitted illegal alien…without so much as lawful residency in the United States.” Then, implying that the President is either a wandering nomad or a prolific identity fraud crook, she alleges that the President “might have used as many as 149 addresses and 39 social security numbers prior to assuming the office of President.”

Acknowledging the existence of a document that shows the President was born in Hawaii, Plaintiff alleges that the document “cannot be verified as genuine, and should be presumed fraudulent.” In further support of her claim, Plaintiff relies upon “the general opinion in the rest of the world” that “Barack Hussein Obama has, in essence, slipped through the guardrails to become President.”

Moreover, as though the “general opinion in the rest of the world” were not enough, Plaintiff alleges in her Complaint that according to an “AOL poll 85% of Americans believe that Obama was not vetted, needs to be vetted and his vital records need to be produced.”

Finally, in a remarkable shifting of the traditional legal burden of proof, Plaintiff unashamedly alleges that Defendant has the burden to prove his “natural born” status.  Thus, Plaintiff’s counsel, who champions herself as a defender of liberty and freedom, seeks to use the power of the judiciary to compel a citizen, albeit the President of the United States, to “prove his innocence” to “charges” that are based upon conjecture and speculation.

Any middle school civics student would readily recognize the irony of abandoning fundamental principles upon which our Country was founded in order to purportedly “protect and preserve” those very principles…

Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so.


After conducting a hearing on Plaintiff’s motion, the Court finds that Plaintiff’s claims are frivolous. Accordingly, her application for a temporary restraining order  is denied, and her Complaint is dismissed in its entirety.

Furthermore, Plaintiff’s counsel is hereby notified that the filing of any future actions in this Court, which are similarly frivolous, shall subject counsel to sanctions.

The funniest twist came when Capt. Connie Rhodes wrote a letter to Judge Land saying, essentially “I don’t even know this crazy Taitz, she doesn’t work for me!”

I do not wish for Ms. Taitz to file any future motions or represent me in any way in this court. It is my plan to file a complaint with the California State Bar due to her reprehensible and unprofessional actions.

Now, once again, it’s always important to keep in mind that these insane conspira-trolls do not represent serious members of the American political left or right.

They’re simply loons to whom much attention shouldn’t be paid, unless it’s to mercilessly mock their stupidity.

I think this came across most clearly in this discussion on the conservative blog RedState, which described Judge Land as an “American hero” for so brutally trashing Taitz’ BS.

Some idiot birther piped up in the comment section, and the website’s regulars tore him to shreds…

red_dawn posted:

We really don’t know, do we.

Why did he spend so much money fighting it?

Why doesn’t he just show the cert (real one, not the fake) once and for all?

And what about his college transcripts?

He’s sneaky and is hiding something.

Kenya? Indonesian? Pakistani? Muslim?

I don’t know. But he does.

And he’s not telling. Why not?

Is he really American?

naraht posted:

Complete conspiracy theory.

Once it got to the point where the Birthers were indicating that Hawaii *Republican Governor Laura Lingle had to be in on the conspiracy because she wouldn’t allow the “real” birth certificate to be shown, I completely walked away.

Besides, the best comment I’ve heard about the Birthers is “Success doesn’t get you President McCain, it gets you President Biden or even President Pelosi”.

I’m not really sure who the Birthers want to work down to in the order of Succession: It goes Biden, Pelosi, Byrd, Hillary, Geithner, Gates, Holder…

red_dawn posted:

Biden is not legitimate either because he got elected with the fraudulent Obama. All his appointees are also fraudulent so the election would revert to the person with the next most votes, McCain.

If he has any class about it, he’ll defer it to Palin and we can start cleaning out the stalls.

Neil Stevens posted:

Try reading the Constitution.

Now you’re just looking ignorant.

red_dawn posted:

Well, I guess I don’t know what would happen exactly. But wouldn’t the SCOTUS be able to declare Biden and all Obama’s appointees as frauds?

Maybe we should wait till after we retake the House so Pelosi doesn’t get elevated even farther above where she would be in any correctly run society.

Neil Stevens posted:

No, really, read the Constitution.

Come back when you’ve done so, and be prepared to tell us where it says the election of the Vice President is connected to the election of the President. Also, read the Constitutional provisions for succession, and related portions of the US Code.

You’re just embarrassing yourself here.

nickinvirginia posted:

This dude just keeps coming back for more abuse. Maybe President Obama was born on Mars and his real parents are intergalactic space people, who sent their son here on a secret mission to destroy America, by fluoride-ing the water. Quick, build your tinfoil ship, so that you and your tin-foiled hat buddies can sail away to a safe place where “they” can’t get you!

mbecker908 posted:

nickinvirginia you’ll just have to trust me…

We haven’t EVEN BEGUN to heap abuse on this pinhead.

Intelligent Americans can disagree on the wisdom of Obama’s policies, strategies and ideology. That’s politics, bitch!

Hopefully, though, those of us who still have a modicum of brain cells left can all agree that the dude is actually a natural-born citizen and the rightful President.

If not, I’m sure Orly Taitz has a lawsuit ready to go on your behalf…just steer clear of Judge Land if you don’t want to get a jurisprudential castration.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

5 Responses to Judge to Birthers: STFU

  1. Paul says:

    The birthers, the tea baggers, the screamers, and the deathers continued extreme minority presence will become tiresome to mainstream America, if it has not already done so. To all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true, if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess they were in on it. In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away the rights of those they just hate) and that’s who they need to extract from their party if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”. I heard that she now wants to investigate the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC).

  2. Paul, I get the feeling you are just getting warmed up. KEEP GOING! This is gold.

  3. Paul says:

    We are all adults here, and as adults we know there are consequences for are actions, so if you do not agree with his policies, you can a) do nothing, b) support him, c) not support him, d) protest and picket, its your choice, live the dream! As for Orly Taitz, to this point she has not been successful because she does not have any proof, documentation supporting her claims except her wild rants. I would not bet the farm on this one. She has a mail-order-degree get someone with real credentials (Harvard, Yale Law School) not a crazy Russian immigrant with dual US/ Israel citizenship (where are her allegiances?). Have you even thought of who is paying for all these legal filings, her travel and all her wigs? Sorry she has no juice because she does not have any proof, documentation supporting her claims except her wild rants. I heard they are now playing the victim card as well. Please, feel sorry for us the “Birth Certificate” that we built our entire case around and that we have been dancing around turn out to be a big “Fake”. Her material might work on “Fake News” but not in a Court of the United States.

  4. Eric says:

    Only the idiots are pretending that this is time traveling alien plot to install a shit bag president (don’t get your mangina all bunched up, they have all been corrupt). This is just a trailer trash mom wanting to make sure her lil’ bastard was given American citizenship. No Airline would have let this dumb whore on a plane 2 weeks before delivery. Thanks

    • That makes no sense, Eric. Any child of an American citizen is automatically an American citizen. The “natural-born” distinction only comes into play when running for President. Better luck next time.

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