FOTI #8: Fifty Shades of Red, White and Blue

Hey y’all! FOTI is back with another episode. (For fans of our non-podcast posts, don’t fret, there are some gems in the pipeline.)

In this episode, we talk Fifty Shades of Grey with our guest Carrie (the genius behind As You Like Like It), critique an online campaign to “exile” the rapper Pitbull to a Walmart in Alaska, and of course, discuss the viral video of bus monitor Karen Klein being persecuted by evil tweens and the massive online fundraising campaign in her honor. With dancehall jams by Vybz Kartel from his absurdly great album Kingston Story. Get fired up!

Simply click this link to listen instantly: Episode 8.mp3

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We’ve continued our tradition of leaking out the topics on our @FOTIpod Twitter account before the show is posted, so you can check out all the sites and links before you hear the discussion, if being fully-informed is your thing.

To the links! The tweets we posted this afternoon are below — plus bonus links.

Alison’s story of swift justice in LA Superior Court is an inspiration to all citizens. We profile the poor twentysomething CNN reporter hung out to dry on the courthouse steps as a veteran producer fed bogus information in her ear about the health care ruling; plus, our favorite meme from the whole mess.

On a whim, we pick patriotic jams for a pop quiz, including this masterpiece:

 Report Card

What do you think, folks: Is this a loving tribute to the man who brought us “You can’t handle the truth!” or a bitchy takedown of a self-plagiarist? We offer our opinions, and discuss whether editor Kevin Porter needs to watch his back.

After learning about a contest whereby the Walmart with the most Likes gets a visit from rapper Pitbull, the dudes from Something Awful have started the #ExilePitbull movement, with the goal of making the Walmart in Kodiak, Alaska, the winner. But is Alaska really the worst place you can send a person in the sweltering summertime heat?

On the plus side, the staff IS really fired up about it.

Thanks again to our contributor Jeni Sue, who discovered this gem and posted it to the Facebook page. We don’t totally understand what the hell’s going on, but we like it. Click here for more from our favorite performer, GloZell.

 

We definitely had to address the biggest story to hit the internet over the past fortnight, first breaking around the time we taped our last episode. Here’s the best take on the Karen the Bus Monitor situation we know of, written by the inimitable Michael K of Dlisted. The current fundraising total to give Karen a break from evil bus-riding tweens now stands at over two-thirds of a million dollars, all in tax-free individual gifts, as Alison points out. And the bus monitor bullies? A one-year suspension from school and re-assignation to what Alpine calls “a re-education camp for fuckups.” Swift justice!

Our Musical Guest

Thanks to the help of producer and Mixpak record label boss Dre Skull, we’re fired up to bring you the incredible music of Vybz Kartel on this episode. His great 2011 record Kingston Story is coming out in a deluxe edition with two bonus tracks, dropping in August! What makes this record so outstanding is that it combines hard beats with extremely catchy hooks, and blends tough lyrics with a great sense of humor. It’s a perfect summertime record that just about everyone can get behind. “I don’t usually listen to dance hall, but when I do, I listen to Vybz Kartel,” endorses Alison.

Here’s one of his great videos on Youtube:

By this time, you must be convinced. Buy the original edition of Kingston Story here, and check out more from Mixpak Records; plus stream the new Vybz single, “Money.” You’re welcome!

Internet Challenge Surprise!

Will this performance inspire you or thoroughly creep you out? Watch and decide! (Here’s an interview with the happy couple.)

 If you don’t appreciate this, you’re cordially invited to depart Earth. For everyone else, here’s more of the impressive work of Symphony of Science auteur John D Boswell.

As You Like Like It

We were lucky enough to be joined by Carrie, the author of one of our favorite Tumblrs, As You Like Like It.

Here are some of our favorite entries, a couple of which we either made Carrie read or recited to her:

• The Internet Dating Attraction Test
• The Peace Summit
• Getting Married (Is Like Moving To New York City)
• America’s Pastime Part 2 (“World Series People and Spring Training People“)
• Guys. WEAR SUITS.

We also touch upon the 50 Shades of Suck tumblr, which is an extended take down of the hugely popular E.L. James trilogy. Carrie delivers an extremely funny synopsis of the first book, pinpointing the most absurd element of the series: the fact that Christian Grey could never exist in real life (a 28 year old, self-made tech billionaire AND model-hot, extremely experienced sexpert? Sparkly vampires are more realistic).

FOTI hereby venerates Carrie for being a preeminent oracle of Real Talk.

Shoutout to the Likers

Likers, you inspire us! So many great items were posted on the FOTI Facebook page, we couldn’t even begin to get to them all. But here are some true gems we needed to spread the word about.

Special thanks to Liker Jim for finding that uproarious clip.

Other items you should check out include:

• From Liker Jeff: “Werewolf in a Girls’ Sorority,” a comedy horror movie with plenty of familiar faces to Youtube aficionados.
• From Liker Jessica: “13 Tips for Single Dames.” The photos are priceless.
• From Liker Neil: A really funny tweet by Mike Tyson.

And finally, this video of a young Ryan Gosling busting moves.

Thanks for listening! We’ll be back in 2 weeks with Episode 9.

Theme song by Snowplows.
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.
Special thanks to Dre Skull and Mixpak Records for musical assistance!