FOTI #15: Lady Gaga Is My 11th Cousin

Fortnight on the Internets gonna put your durt purz to the bird-ass test!

On this episode, we debate the merits of a buzzworthy new website called HeTexted that purports to help women interpret text messages from love interests. We rate a new musical video that has the Disney Princesses touting the hipster lifestyle. We also reveal the fact that all Canadian celebrities are related to one another!

Since presidential election memes are still going full force, Alison and Alpine caucus and rate the latest viral finds on a scale from Michelle Obama to Michele Bachmann. All that, plus maybe our best set of Internet Challenge Surprises ever, and tons of great bonus material provided by our Likers.

Four ways to listen:

If you subscribe or become a Liker, you’ll be able to get to new episodes faster than everyone else (in this case, the episode was pre-released on Tuesday night). We’ve also continued our tradition of leaking out the topics on our @FOTIpod Twitter account before the blog post goes up, so you can check out all the sites and links before you hear the discussion, if being fully-informed is your thing.

To the links! The tweets we posted Tuesday night are below — plus bonus links.


Lauren Bachelis will write and serve as supervising producer on the project, titled 20-Nothings, which revolves around five over-educated 20-nothings living in Los Angeles who do whatever it takes to achieve their Hollywood dreams. CBS Studios, where Fred Savage is under an overall deal, will produce.

Bachelis launched the Hollywood Assistants blog in May, while working as an assistant at CAA where she spent nearly a year before landing a job as assistant to New Girl creator/executive producer Liz Meriweather. Bachelis worked on the show for a couple of months, leaving on Aug. 3.

The following week, she landed a blind script deal at CBS Studios, which led to 20-Nothings. Bachelis, who is now repped by CAA and Mosaic, started off doing internships on NBC’s Heroes for NBC and at PR firm Rogers & Cowan and served as a production assistant onJudge Judy. She continues to update the Hollywood Assistants blog every day.

Here’s the blog that led Bachelis to this huge life accomplishment. Also, here’s her Twitter account. Even if you look at this stuff and don’t find it that funny, we warn you not to mess with this girl or her legions of white knights will ride down upon you like a Mongol horde, waving a giant DEATH TO BITTER HATERS banner.

Internet Report Card

With friend of the podcast Tiger Darrow as Snow White. This musical is the work of the AVByte brothers, whose productivity is amazing to behold. Amazing effort, but nothing in this vein will ever top Hipster Ariel.

I tried logging into to see what celebrities I’m related to, but it just turned into a really boring elementary school homework assignment of putting in my relatives’ names. Guess I haven’t caught the genealogy bug yet…

Our Musical Guest says: “Please don’t go see Animal Talk if you’re not going to dance. Assertive percussion and slightly rough vocals round out pop-y synths and indie rock guitars, all of which come together for a high-energy live show that defies the audience a chance to stand still, let alone sit down.”

Check out Animal Talk’s great tunes at Facebook, Spotify, and their website.

Internet Challenge Surprise!

Absolutely in awe of this crew. Here’s their Facebook page. You need to be following them  immediately. DURT PURZ forever!

Bonus material: Kendrick Lamar with Dr. Dre and Andrea Estella, aka Diana the Chickenhead.

Just go to this website. For those who know the music of the Pixies, I can’t recommend this highly enough.

Election Season Thunderdome

In a rampage through election-related viral videos and memes, we rate the following items either a MICHELLE OBAMA or a MICHELE BACHMANN:

Shoutout To The Likers

In addition to running the latest Jeni Sue Gems (sorry about the false allegations she’s be on this episode but we will have her back on soon!), we holla at our Likers for finding great shiz like:

  • Liker Doan dropped this gem from The Best Damn Band in the Land (that’s Ohio State’s marching band — and my apologies for butchering their moniker during the show). A history of video games through marching band magic!
  • Liker Mike encouraged us to join Stitcher, and we have! New Liker Brad found our show there and gave us a shoutout. Respect to y’all!
  • Liker Brett helped bring us Sam Rockwell “directing” Christopher Walken and Colin Farrell reading “dialogue” from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” during a press junket for 7 PSYCHOPATHS

and now: LIKER RICH is our Liker of the Fortnight for his work to bring us the forgotten internet gem, Matthew’s Celebrity Pixies Tribute. Truly, he rocked us with his contributions to the podcast. Thanks Liker Rich and congratulations on this extremely prestigious honor…

Thanks for listening! We’ll be back in 2 weeks with Episode 16!

Theme song by Snowplows: Check out their four new songs on Bandcamp!
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.

About Alpine McGregor
Just like you, man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. All in the game, though, right?

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