FOTI #39: Kim Kardashian, Pleeease Marry Meee!!!
October 31, 2013 Leave a comment
Fortnight on the Internets is thoroughly spooked!
On this episode, we share scary Youtube and website recommendations, explore the quaint world of industrial musicals, and find out the real story of the Kanye/Kim engagement from an inside source. With a ghoulish report card that delves into “the DARK SIDE of self-esteem!” We’ve got music from the Bad Bad Hats and a guest appearance by Jeni Sue.
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BOO! “JERRY” by Neil & John
Just in time for Hallowe’en, here’s a terrifying short film from two of this podcast’s favorite comic actors. Don’t miss one of their videos — be sure to Like their page!
That creature will haunt my dreams. Also, Neil’s daughter was brilliant in this.
More Hallowe’en linx:
- Awesome Great Women of History costumes to inspire America’s youth
- 20 terrifying old-timey Halloween costumes <– that link is now worthless, but this post has a similar theme!
- How to change your Twitter name for Halloween
- This LED stick figure toddler costume wins every costume contest
- WTF Should I Be For Halloween?
- And the most essential website of this holiday season, Should I Dress in Blackface on Halloween?
Internet Report Card
In this segment, an old favorite returns with a vengeance. Then, we ponder the future of America through the lens of its youth.
#1. Medieval Land Fun-Time World (Bad Lip Reading: Game of Thrones)
Last year’s BEST OF THE INTERNETS champion returns with perhaps his finest effort yet — a BLR of the dark HBO medieval drama remixed into a delightful summer film for the teens. “You can eat sand, young man!”
#2. Rachael “Sacks of Cash” Speaks Out
Her groundbreaking essay: “I’m Not Going To Pretend That I’m Poor To Be Accepted By You.“
#3. Broadway Baby Dance Diva
This future star burned her dance class choreography to the ground enroute to viral fame:
Our Musical Guest: BAD BAD HATS
Bad Bad Hats is an awesome band from Minneapolis that will rock you with their blend of catchy hooks and indie spirit. Chris Hoge and Kerry Alexander have built a delightful sound that can’t help but uplift this entire episode. This group got their big break at a Battle of the Bands, which is just the perfect backstory, considering their heartwarming style. It’s the American Dream.
Their EP It Hurts is loaded with five super enjoyable songs, like the title track:
We are fired up to have their music on this show! Like them on Facebook right now!
Internet Challenge Surprise!
Through the magic of Metafilter, I learned about a new book called Everything’s Coming Up Profits — a masterwork that details the history of the rah-rah corporate musical genre of the 1950s-1970s! It’s an incredible world of shameless materialism, frivolous corporate spending, and calcified attitudes towards gender roles — all redeemed by the magic of song.
Some of our favorite tracks:
- The Bathrooms Are Coming! (American Standard, 1969)
- Chevrolet sales convention musical (sometime in the 50s)
- “Seein’ The Light” (Allied Chemical, 1978) <– cut for time, but this is great
- “79 Fever” (Westinghouse, 1979)
For more, check out Everything’s Coming Up Profits: The Golden Age of Industrial Musicals.
The Proposal of the Century
Our pal Jeni Sue joins us with 100% real, completely authentic and not made up testimony from behind the scenes of Kanye West’s proposal to Kim Kardashian, from her perspective as their child’s personal assistant. Again, this is definitely not made up.
Some highlights of the discussion:
- Kanye’s original proposal plan (the Lost City of Atlantis)
- Vowels are in right now!
- The difficulty of relying upon facial recognition security for a crowd of plastic surgery victims
- How she worked around Khloe’s absence
- Joe Francis’ emotional reaction to the magic moment
- Does Bruce really have more dresses than Kim in his Malibu home?
Jeni blogs at Not Lena Dunham.
Shoutout to the Likers!
So many Likers to show love to this fortnight:
- Liker Mike D for sending along the catchy Patrice Wilson jam “Chinese Food”
- Liker Chip sent along a gallery of Bilbo Baggins throwing double middles
- F.O.T.P. Erin M from DC created the ingenious White Guys Doing It By Themselves
- Liker Dave B kept monitoring the viral tampon ad landscape
- Liker Phil in CO sent along the Ylvis followup to “The Fox,” “Massachusetts”
- Liker Neil C sent along this essential tribute to the film Drumline
- And many of our Likers enjoyed (or steered clear of) a spooky Michael Jackson video
AND Our Liker of the Fortnight is LIKER ANDREW W from LA (not to be confused with past LOTF Liker Andrew W from Austin!) who sent along the amazing website I Was An Awesomer Kid — essential reading for any child of the 80s, and certainly superior to the latest Buzzfeed listicle! Thank you, Andrew, for your clutch contribution, and congratulations on this most prestigious of made up Internet awards!
For everyone else, thank you for listening — see you in two weeks!
Thanks to Ian Anderson at Afternoon Records and Chris Hoge of the Bad Bad Hats for musical assistance.
Our theme song is by Snowplows.
Cover art by Vicious Rumors.