July 25, 2012 Leave a comment
Back Talk is created from messages recorded on an anonymous call-in line or submitted anonymously through the Internet. Anecdotally, the contributors are generally cranky senior citizens from Lowell and nearby towns who have had it UP TO HERE with you kids and your damned shenanigans.
We’ve continued to monitor this clearinghouse of elder rage, selecting the best entries for your enjoyment. This time around, infuriating subjects include President Obama, welfare recipients, boom boxes, dog poop, President Obama, multiculturalism, light prison sentences, and President Obama.
KIDS STUFF: What’s up with all these grownups on bicycles? It’s dangerous! At least bring back the bells.
GREEN WAY: Save the plywood! Save the trees! Go with the Crestgate system; what’s the matter with these tree- huggers; don’t they know plywood is made out of trees?
TURNOFF: Why does Comcast charge me for 22 Spanish channels? I am not Spanish! And what about all the shows that sell stuff? I buy stuff from stores. Why am I paying for this?
LIFE IS GOOD: Welfare was the worst thing you people ever did. These people ride around in Lexuses, eat much better than I do, buy lottery tickets and have babies.
DUBIOUS DISTINCTION: There’s a new breed out there: proud single father. What’s next?
SINKING FEELING: I was watching the movie Titanic and I don’t believe some of the things that went on. If this was true, how could anyone be so cruel? I hope the survivors took them to court or did something.
HOLLYWOOD HYPE: I just finished watching War Horse. This movie did not deserve an Academy Award. Editor’s note: War Horse won no Academy Awards.
ROLE REVERSAL: It’s a sad thing about what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, but I don’t think everyone would react this way if he were white.
TOO MUCH FOREIGN AID: $1.5 billion dollars to Egypt in foreign aid, and they’ve never joined us in any wars to help defend us? This needs to stop. Shame on our president.
SITTING TARGET: Is it my imagination, or does it seem like there are more vehicles hitting houses lately than ever before?
SWITCH ON THE JUICE: When are we going to become civilized and put these cold-blooded killers down? Stop supporting them for the rest of their lives!
VIEWER CRITIQUE: Looking back, television was clean and good. Today, it’s so filthy and serious. They should be ashamed.
LOUD AND CLEAR: To the “top three” leaders of Lowell: Stop these boom boxes!
DEAL-BREAKER: Plea deals should be abolished. It’s ridiculous how abused they are!
DRIVING TO DISTRACTION: These people should not be allowed to have cars; many of them can’t drive!
ALL THE FASHION: Bluejeans used to be worn by the poor, the hard working, and lower class; now, they’re worn by all the followers.