Crisis Averted: CBS Declines to Pick Up “Shh! Don’t Tell Steve”

One of the best things on Twitter just came dangerously close to being one of the worst things on television.

You remember “Shit My Dad Says,” right? That amazing Twitter feed that was supposedly written by a 29 year old guy living at home with his irrepressible father? Only then, it got picked up for a book deal, and it turned out that the author was a comedy writer who had spent decades compiling his dad’s best sayings, instead of just writing them down on the fly. Though that wasn’t especially objectionable, it kind of ruined the myth of the whole thing.

Then the book became a CBS show. A really awful CBS show starring William Shatner, called “Bleep My Dad Says.”

It is unadulterated shite. And you don’t have to take my word for it, here’s America’s best TV critic Tim Goodman:

From this moment forward, nobody at CBS should be allowed on the Internet. A memo should go out, telling all employees – particularly those with the power to green-light shows – to stay off social media…

And you, dear audience, should not have your interest piqued just because William Shatner is involved. Shatner is today what Betty White will be less than two years from now. Over. And both of you – network and audience – should know that turning 140-character rants from a cranky old man into a fully formed sitcom is nearly impossible, no matter how much the laugh track gets sweetened. Face it, “$#*! My Dad Says” was a bad idea from inception to pilot.

You ruined it. Stay off the Internet. Someone could steal your Social Security number.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason, every terrible show that airs on CBS pulls down an insane rating.

“Bleep” is a massive hit. It gets 10 million viewers an episode. It won a People’s Choice award. Despite its awfulness, it’s nowhere close to being canceled. So not only did CBS ruin one of the best feeds on Twitter, it ruined it in a sustainable way, rubbing it in our faces, constantly reminding us “You used to like this!” and filling us with shame.

Then they came for “Shh! Don’t Tell Steve.”

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